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jodeej (@jodeej)

"Brain Fog"

Caregivers | Last Active: Jan 13, 2019 | Replies (8)

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Hello @jodeej Great to read your update and thank you for staying in touch here!

You raise an important point in caregiving --- being thankful for what we have -- and not focusing on what we do not have, have lost, wish we had back, or what we do not yet know! THANK YOU!

Thanksgiving has always been my very favorite holiday of the year! No gifts, trappings, etc., just a time of family, friends, feasting, sharing stories, jokes, etc., and at our tables a bit of wine. This year we are having 21, we cook the turkeys on the BBQ grills, have a huge inflated turkey in the front yard, and I even give an annual quiz between dinner and dessert!

I've found myself trying to shake the blues these past few days as my favorite holiday approaches, but without my wife. I miss her so very, very much. Your note made me think of the quote 'don't cry because it's over, celebrate because it happened!' That is what I shall do!

I will celebrate her memory and that she put up with my over-the-top love of Thanksgiving, what she called my 'moose heart' as I extended invitation after invitation to come to our home, and how I always began planning for each Thanksgiving the day after. Black Friday only means the countdown to our next Thanksgiving for me!

I will also celebrate that many of her family members will make the trek to our home to continue this celebration at her home! We'll have family and friends from Minnesota, Ohio, Kentucky, Illinois, and Indiana. We will toast her for sure!

One of my favorite memories is when we had been married only two weeks. I came home to our apartment that early July and said "What is that amazing smell? It smells like Thanksgiving!" She looked at me as if I were nuts and said "I'm cooking a turkey." I said "What? That's impossible! You can only have turkey on Thanksgiving. Where ever did you get it?" She replied "The grocery store. Where do you think I got it?"

I had never had turkey except once a year on Thanksgiving day until that day! My goodness! Not only was she Italian, but she could make me turkey dinner too --- and she wowed me even more when she made mashed potatoes -- and they weren't out of a box like my mom had always made.

Yes, that is what I will focus on, thanks to you, JoDee! What I (and we) have!

Strength, courage, and peace to all -- especially at this time of Thanksgiving!

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Replies to "Hello @jodeej Great to read your update and thank you for staying in touch here! You..."

Thank you for this truthful, heartfelt, helpful post. Thanksgiving is hard for me because my deceased daughter was born on this day. In her memory, we are donating to the local food bank.

Amen! Thank you for sharing your memories.