Liver transplant - Let's support each other

Dear godlygal @godlygal, Welcome to Connect. As I read your post, I can see that you care very deeply for your friend. The cirrhosis and symptoms that you describe are miserable for him as wall as for you. And with the complicating factor of mom's diagnosis, it is little wonder that you feel frightened and stressed.
Who is treating your friend for the cirrhosis? What kind of advice, counseling, or help with alcohol addiction is being offered? You must bring up these concerns to the provider because your friend has to assume his share of the responsibility for his situation. And you should not be expected know the answers.

Right now, I am concerned about you, as his caregiver. Caregivers of all ages fall into the caregiving role for all sorts of reasons. And from what I have read, none of them is ever prepared. I want to invite you to the Caregiver Discussion Group. This is a discussion group where you can read about other people who have been faced with situations where they, too, asked, "How do I handle this?" I know that if you post your question there, you will find that you are not alone.
Meet fellow Caregivers - Introduce yourself
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/meet-fellow-caregivers-introduce-yourself/

@godlygal Hi Jeannie. I can certainly understand your fears. Rosemary has given some great advice. Is your friend a patient of a hepatologist? If not his PCP should refer him to one. There are medications that can help with hepatic encephalopathy (HE). I had cirrhosis from fatty liver, and had HE episodes too. Initially I was on lactulose but then my hepatologist prescribed xifaxan with no lactulose. I was on xifaxan for quite a while and when my HE episodes resumed it was presumed it was because my cirrhosis had progressed so then I had to take both lactulose and xifaxan. Xifaxan works considerably better than lactulose, or at least it did for me.
You say he is an alcoholic. Is he trying to stop his alcohol abuse? If he does not he cannot be a candidate for a transplant, which of course is generally the best treatment for cirrhosis, although I do know of people who followed strict diets, no alcohol of course, and were apparently able to reverse their cirrhosis somewhat or at least hold it at bay.
I too am concerned about you. It is difficult to be a caregiver even with a patient who is generally cooperative, but when the patient is not, and is acting hostile, it must be virtually impossible. I hope you can get some good advice from the caregivers link that Rosemary sent you. Is there anyone else, someone in his family, who can also help and give you a break? That would at least give you a little break.
JK

Hi I’m a 37 female suffering from budd chari that caused me to get stage four cirrhosis of the liver... I’m so scared and I’m out off work and can’t work I don’t know what to do anymore...

Welcome to Connect @shelly63.
I'd like to direct you to this discussion with other members talking specifically about cirrhosis of the liver:
- NASH and cirrhosis of the liver https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/nash-and-cirrhosis-of-the-liver/

@godlygal ...I can not stress enough that your partner address his alcohol consumption. Believe me, I know how hard it is to talk sense to a drinker. This is no easy task. You will need help with this. He will not be considered for a transplant without being at least 6 months alcohol free. I think stressing life without alcohol over death is a much happier scenario. Please, please try to enlist help.

@gaylea1.......Your advice to @godlygal is spot on.

He does not want to stop drinking and say s he doesn’t care if he dies

Hi @godlygal
I want to add my welcome. It can't be easy trying to help someone who doesn't want to be helped. Like others have mentioned, be sure to be aware of your own safety. I would like you to know about the National Domestic Violence Hotline website http://www.thehotline.org/ On this website you will find a phone number to call 1-800-799-7233 or you can use the online chat and get help without saying a word.
By calling the Hotline, you can work with professionals to find safety and solution that is right for you. And even just to create a plan.

@shelly63 Are you going to a major medical center? I googled Budd-Chiari, I had never heard of it before, and I see that it is quite rare so you should be going to one, preferably one that does do liver transplants in case that turns out to be the best option. I think you need to do that and proceed from there.
I have no advice beyond that, but please be reassured knowing that there are options for you. I would presume that the first step would be seeing a hepatologist at a transplant center. That's where I started when I was diagnosed with cirrhosis.
I hope you will maintain contact, I will be interested in hearing how you make out.
JK

I go to the Mayo Clinic to get the help I need .. hopefully in the end of my evaluation for the transplant @jk