Aging and Changing

Well, sometimes life doesn't give you choices, and you have to do the best with the hand you're dealt.

Thanks for the like.

Thanks for the like Colleen.

I am fortunate to have been a caregiver for my parents, and my wife’s parents. I am now past 70, married to a good woman, and a childless only child. No major issues save a struggle with blood pressure and weight. I suffer from major depressive episodes, and medication over the last 30 years is a contributor to the weight issues. I am fortunate to not have many physically debilitating issues, but I’m so fearful of the future. We don’t have funds for assisted living, and my hope we can age in place. The depression just adds. Guess life is one day at a time...any suggestions?

@elwoodsdad What you say may just be an accurate description of living, a mixture of the good and the bad in different proportions. Your life may be tilted towards difficulties. Everyone needs to have a compelling interest in something outside himself--in that you can (even briefly) look away from your problems and feel your greater value. After a life of so much care-giving, maybe that outside interest should focus on developing your own talents, friendships, or even adventures.

I certainly did not anticipate being in the condition I am now. I have had to gear way down physically as well as mentally. It has been an adjustment and being limited in what or how much I can do. Endeavoring to keep a positive attitude. Still have struggles with feeling worthless. I know others who are retired and do all kind of things, have lots of friends and family. They travel and have adventures they always wanted to have and go south for the winter. My mind cannot fully grasp how quickly things can change-working on it still.

@Parus Hi it is a big adjustment. I use to be so active but age does this to you when I was 66I moved from Pa to Ca for family Im glad ,I have those memories with my Grandson ,both parents worked so I took care of him now 76 I couldn't do it now Im at a slower pace now You aren't worthless we all have a higher realm in our future concentrate on this when you feel blue Just lately I was at that point but pulled myself together and looked up ,meditation helps took those deep breaths and know Im still alive ,you too!

@parus
Good Morning
I feel your concerns. When I started to read your post, I thought it might have been something I forgot I posted. It sounded so much like something i would write.
I remember being younger and healthier and my hubby telling me I should stop wishing my life away.
I was having such a good time in my personal life that I wished I could retire to have fun all the time.
My hubby was so right. I have been retired 5 years. It's great not having to work not because my life is a blast, but because my health has changed so much that I would have been fired for all the time I would have to take off.
Funny, I had SO much stress with my job, that I couldn't wait until I no longer had to be there. Yet, I think about it all the time and the people I worked with. I dream about it frequently.
After all these years, I am trying to accept and adjust.
I still feel that I'm young and I have to find a way to make the most of my life.
Although I am not where I want to be physically, I have to look at all the ways I am blessed.
I think that is what we have to do in order to make the most of life.

Have a day filled with lots of blessings,
Ronnie (GRANDMAr)

I so agree with what you said, "working on it still." It is a continual process isn't it, @parus? I'm in the same place in life, finding ways to find fulfillment in a body that does always move in the direction (or for the time period) I would want. The process continues, so we march on!

Thanks for your reply and interest. I do have some friends with whom I meet weekly, and have some church-related activities which I do as a volunteer. Volunteering is frustrating, or maybe I am frustrating. I find that when one gives away one's time, the recipient is not especially appreciative...now a large check is a different story. I am an Elder in my church (much to their chagrin, I'm guessing), and attempt to do those things we have been tasked with in the care of others. I work with a homeless program, a food bank, and work in the administration of ministry in this Presbytery. I stay busy enough, for the most part. Just enjoying the prospect of the unknown...