Depression and Anxiety at an older age

@parus The only Dr who ever treated me right, and listened, and cared was a wonderfully gifted man. He was the medical director for the county medical facility. When he took a sabbatical to head up the hospital team in Liberia at the Ebola crisis, I was thrilled for him and disappointed for me. The succeeding carousel of Dr's didn't hold a candle to him.
Ginger

@merpreb For me the depression first manifested in high school. Mine is caused by a brain chemical imbalance that will require me to be on my medication for the rest of my life. The RA started right after high school. Depression creates it's own pain: physical, mental and emotional. I can see chronic pain that presents initially without depression can lead to serious depression when the pain doesn't respond to treatment. What makes it worse (no matter which came first) is the lack of understanding and support from medical personnel, family and friends. Then when strangers start attacking you or telling you what you should do, like you're just too stupid or lazy to fix yourself you just want to scream or go to sleep. Or scream then go to sleep. I'm sorry if I sound harsh today. This morning I had my second go round for the week with my eye surgeon. It's easy to get tired of trying to find a doctor, etc., who will finally be the right one. Sometimes you have to take a break but knowing that it's only a break. You have to keep going because it could be the next doctor or the next or the next that truly listens and can help. They are also continually making advancements in depression and pain. It wasn't until the 2000's that they started using biologics for rheumatoid arthritis. All we can do until we find the right doctor and the right treatment is to take care of ourselves the best we can, ask for help when we need it and hold on to knowing that at some point in the future there will be significant advances in treating pain and depression. Oh, and keep supporting each other.

@merpreb For me the depression first manifested in high school. Mine is caused by a brain chemical imbalance that will require me to be on my medication for the rest of my life. The RA started right after high school. Depression creates it's own pain: physical, mental and emotional. I can see chronic pain that presents initially without depression can lead to serious depression when the pain doesn't respond to treatment. What makes it worse (no matter which came first) is the lack of understanding and support from medical personnel, family and friends. Then when strangers start attacking you or telling you what you should do, like you're just too stupid or lazy to fix yourself you just want to scream or go to sleep. Or scream then go to sleep. I'm sorry if I sound harsh today. This morning I had my second go round for the week with my eye surgeon. It's easy to get tired of trying to find a doctor, etc., who will finally be the right one. Sometimes you have to take a break but knowing that it's only a break. You have to keep going because it could be the next doctor or the next or the next that truly listens and can help. They are also continually making advancements in depression and pain. It wasn't until the 2000's that they started using biologics for rheumatoid arthritis. All we can do until we find the right doctor and the right treatment is to take care of ourselves the best we can, ask for help when we need it and hold on to knowing that at some point in the future there will be significant advances in treating pain and depression. Oh, and keep supporting each other.

@pearlbaby7- Good morning Lyn. I totally agree with you about taking a small break between loser doctors. I also have suffered with depression and anger and anxiety for a long time and I'm medicines that I plan to take forever. I never want to go through what I have again. I'm sorry that you have had to struggle with RA for such a long time. I know the ravages it can take on the body and mind. Tell me about your eye doctor. What is wrong with your eye? What is the disagreement? Do you think that it can be resolved?

@merpreb I had cataract surgery on both eyes last spring. It's not unusual to have to have laser surgery later due to scarring. He did my left eye Monday. It was pretty bad and took quite a bit to open up the damaged sac. Unknown to both of us I scratched my cornea while I was there. It had nothing to do with the surgery. But if you've ever scratched your cornea you know that it feels like sand in your eye and burns. After I got home I had those symptoms but I also was having pain inside my eye that was worse than the scratch symptoms. I wore hard contacts from 10 years old to 50 when they took them away and wouldn't even let me have soft lenses. RA has caused me to have dry, red eyes for years and that didn't work well with contacts. Having worn contacts for 40 years I had scratched my cornea many many times. I know what that feels like. It doesn't include the pain inside my eye that I was experiencing. He insisted that was what caused it. Finally, I went back home for the second time that day and took my gabapentin early hoping it would help with the pain inside my eye. After about an hour it did. When I went back yesterday for the follow up visit I explained to him that my deduction on the pain is that my RA is flaring and I believe the vibration of the laser made the nerves act up and cause the pain I felt. He said he's had thousands of patients who were flaring and had no pain from the surgery. And that everyone who scratches their cornea has the exact same symptoms I had. I've lived with this body for 60 years. I know how it reacts. He refused to even consider what I said. I had started the conversation with saying I thought he was a good doctor and an excellent surgeon. But I needed him to listen to me and instead of instantly denying what I said, ask me questions about the pain I was feeling (what part of my eye, what kind of pain, etc.). Nope. Not going to give a millimeter. I have to get the other eye done next month and one follow up then I'll never see him again. Just the usual frustration with doctors who have closed minds and no skills in communicating with their patients.

@merpreb I had cataract surgery on both eyes last spring. It's not unusual to have to have laser surgery later due to scarring. He did my left eye Monday. It was pretty bad and took quite a bit to open up the damaged sac. Unknown to both of us I scratched my cornea while I was there. It had nothing to do with the surgery. But if you've ever scratched your cornea you know that it feels like sand in your eye and burns. After I got home I had those symptoms but I also was having pain inside my eye that was worse than the scratch symptoms. I wore hard contacts from 10 years old to 50 when they took them away and wouldn't even let me have soft lenses. RA has caused me to have dry, red eyes for years and that didn't work well with contacts. Having worn contacts for 40 years I had scratched my cornea many many times. I know what that feels like. It doesn't include the pain inside my eye that I was experiencing. He insisted that was what caused it. Finally, I went back home for the second time that day and took my gabapentin early hoping it would help with the pain inside my eye. After about an hour it did. When I went back yesterday for the follow up visit I explained to him that my deduction on the pain is that my RA is flaring and I believe the vibration of the laser made the nerves act up and cause the pain I felt. He said he's had thousands of patients who were flaring and had no pain from the surgery. And that everyone who scratches their cornea has the exact same symptoms I had. I've lived with this body for 60 years. I know how it reacts. He refused to even consider what I said. I had started the conversation with saying I thought he was a good doctor and an excellent surgeon. But I needed him to listen to me and instead of instantly denying what I said, ask me questions about the pain I was feeling (what part of my eye, what kind of pain, etc.). Nope. Not going to give a millimeter. I have to get the other eye done next month and one follow up then I'll never see him again. Just the usual frustration with doctors who have closed minds and no skills in communicating with their patients.

@pearlbaby7 Some doctors believe the M.D. behind their names stand for Master Deity. They do not want anyone to questionthem, nor present another option. I have found that all I can do is explain myself to them, whether they "get it" or not, whether they want to listen or not. Then decide if their service is what I want as part of my care team, or go elsewhere. In the last medical group I was with, my reputation was quickly established, and I sometimes felt defensive to explain myself. But as patients, if we have been listening to our bodies, we know best the symptoms.
Ginger

@merpreb I had cataract surgery on both eyes last spring. It's not unusual to have to have laser surgery later due to scarring. He did my left eye Monday. It was pretty bad and took quite a bit to open up the damaged sac. Unknown to both of us I scratched my cornea while I was there. It had nothing to do with the surgery. But if you've ever scratched your cornea you know that it feels like sand in your eye and burns. After I got home I had those symptoms but I also was having pain inside my eye that was worse than the scratch symptoms. I wore hard contacts from 10 years old to 50 when they took them away and wouldn't even let me have soft lenses. RA has caused me to have dry, red eyes for years and that didn't work well with contacts. Having worn contacts for 40 years I had scratched my cornea many many times. I know what that feels like. It doesn't include the pain inside my eye that I was experiencing. He insisted that was what caused it. Finally, I went back home for the second time that day and took my gabapentin early hoping it would help with the pain inside my eye. After about an hour it did. When I went back yesterday for the follow up visit I explained to him that my deduction on the pain is that my RA is flaring and I believe the vibration of the laser made the nerves act up and cause the pain I felt. He said he's had thousands of patients who were flaring and had no pain from the surgery. And that everyone who scratches their cornea has the exact same symptoms I had. I've lived with this body for 60 years. I know how it reacts. He refused to even consider what I said. I had started the conversation with saying I thought he was a good doctor and an excellent surgeon. But I needed him to listen to me and instead of instantly denying what I said, ask me questions about the pain I was feeling (what part of my eye, what kind of pain, etc.). Nope. Not going to give a millimeter. I have to get the other eye done next month and one follow up then I'll never see him again. Just the usual frustration with doctors who have closed minds and no skills in communicating with their patients.