Connect
Adults On The Autism Spectrum
Maybe you were really shy as a child. Perhaps you took home a huge stack of books from the school library, read them, and returned them the next day. Or did your best friend find you crying in your closet, unable to answer the question "Why?" At any rate, your life could be traced to the Self-Help section of the local bookstore. Unfortunately, most of the books were not much help. ADHD seemed to fit, at times. Your shrink said you might be Bi-Polar, although she wasn't really certain. All you knew was that you rarely fit in, anywhere. One day at work, it hit you square in the face: I don't speak these people's language! Really, it was like you were all playing this game, and everyone knew the rules but you. You couldn't tell a joke, and you never "got" any joke your co-worker tried to tell you. People started getting annoyed with you, because you had a memory like a steel trap. They didn't appreciate it when you called them on the carpet. Who knew? This was my life, and worse. I finally aced several tests that pointed me to the answer to my questions. The Autism Spectrum. Guess what? Little kids with Autism grow up to be Adults with Autism. Diagnosed late in life? This is the place for you!
Like
Helpful
HugInterested in more discussions like this? Go to the Autism (ASD) Support Group.
Connect
@ethanmcconkey , @gingerw , @rosemarya, and the rest of our crew, Happy Turkey Day in advance!
I celebrated 45 years of marriage today with my boyfriend of 48 years. I was totally smitten with him from the first day I laid eyes on him. He was 16 and I was 17. He just might be on the Spectrum. I have my opinions about that. If you knew how he was back then, and how I was, you would realize what a miracle it was that we found each other.
Both shy, introverted, totally convinced that neither one of us would ever get married. But he made me laugh. He was brilliant. He was a devoted person of faith. He was easy on the eyes, too, which was kind of nice. Most of our dates revolved around church activities , hiking in the mountains, playing and singing around the piano with friends. Simple things. Just typical life, back in the early seventies.
We loved going to the library together, of all things! I was convinced he was the "one" and I did my research. I even took a French class at the university where his mother was a professor. I wanted to know what I was getting into. I learned some French to add to the two years I had in high school. And I discovered that Dr. Peterson was a unique, brilliant, fascinating woman. She and I got along famously.
Fast forward to 2019. Our new washer and dryer combo was delivered today, two hours later than anticipated. There were issues that had to be addressed, which I won't go into, so as not to bore you any further. Let's just say we are very grateful to be together, with all of the things that a couple endures. It's still worth it.
I am thankful for my gift of this wonderful man, who stood by me through all the years that I was unaware of being on the Spectrum. Autism is not a death sentence. One can find friends, family, love, and acceptance, all the while dealing with the consequences of living in a Neurotypical world. If it can happen to me, there is hope for everyone And it's great if you are happy being single. Not everyone needs or wants a live in companion seven days a week. It is extremely important that we all learn to love and accept ourselves. To enjoy our own company. I do. I need my space.
As I write this, my 66 year old hubby is watching Flash on Netfix. I needed some down time so I am in the living room, anticipating another holiday tomorrow with a small family group. So many memories cloud my mind, as they have done all day long. Some bittersweet
Gotta go for now. The buzzer went off and I must baste the turkey. I hope that you all have the best day tomorrow, and that you make some memories for yourself. If it's just you and a glass of cider as you watch the Thanksgiving Day Parade, that's a start. Take care of you.You are enough.
Love and light,
Mamacita Jane y
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
5 Reactions@mamacita
Happy Anniversary and what a lovely post, Jane! I just love the story of how you "researched" your husband's family by taking his mother's class. You've always been very resourceful in taking care of yourself and being sure you are safe. That is so important. I hope your turkey is wonderful and that you and your memories bring you much joy, you deserve it!
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
3 Reactions@teresa, Volunteer Mentor, the turkey and dressing, and green bean casserole turned out perfectly. We only had one dessert, since we are all watching our calories. And it was no sugar added cheese cake. Yum.
We used my Mother-in-law's French plates, think they are called "Faiance." Not too sure about the spelling. If she was still with us, there would have been crudites, deviled eggs, homemade cookies and pies, and a typical French salad with home made French bread. Corn on the cob, too This year we just did the basics.
For everyone who celebrates, I hope everyone had a wonderful day.
Mamacita
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
3 Reactions@mamacita Hi Jane! I have recently learned that my boyfriend/husband of 23 yrs is also on the autism spectrum. I really wish he had told me this all those years ago. Our lives would have gone much smoother had I known. I have been reading about it and now have so much more patience with him. His obsession with numbers and facts all makes sense to me now. His black & white logic makes sense to me now. His fear of change used to drive me nuts. Now that I know, I speak to him in more direct terms and that has helped a lot. He gets less agitated that way. He now has some kind of dementia creeping up. We suspect it could arterial dementia. He is displaying the same signs as his mother who had that. We are downsizing and trying to simplify our lives in order to handle things easier. Jane, the things you post are invaluable to many, including me. I hope the upcoming holidays go smoothly for you. Hugs!
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
3 Reactions@windwalker , wow!!!!
You make me smile!
I am so happy to hear that you and your precious hubby have made adjustments to your lifestyle. That you understand him so much better in the light of Autism.
Autism is a gift. To many, it is a struggle, trying to find resources and accommodations to help an Autie survive in an increasingly loud. Demanding society.
I wish you well in this next portion of your life. It is refreshing to hear that you, too, are downsizing and simplifying, in order to smoothly transition into this next phase of your life.
I pray many blessings for you and your family as you go forward with confidence. Thank you so much for sharing your lovely, kind thoughts with me.
Hugs and love,
Jane
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
4 Reactions@windwalker and @mamacita
It is so amazing how much we learn from each other, isn't it? Blessing to you both and your families!
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
2 ReactionsThank you Teresa.
Jane, you are right, Autism can be a gift. With my hubby, his obsession with numbers has been very useful financially. He can crunch numbers like nobody's business and could always make great financial decisions. I always prided him for having such a straight moral compass, he doesn't lie, and is super honest. I have read that those tend to be a trait of Auties.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
2 ReactionsI'm still here. Been a rough patch. Lots going on. Know that you are valued and worth a million bucks TTYl
Mamacita
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
2 Reactions@mamacita Gentle as you go.....
Ginger
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
1 Reaction