Adults On The Autism Spectrum

Posted by Mamacita, Alumna Mentor @mamacita, Apr 29, 2018

Maybe you were really shy as a child. Perhaps you took home a huge stack of books from the school library, read them, and returned them the next day. Or did your best friend find you crying in your closet, unable to answer the question "Why?" At any rate, your life could be traced to the Self-Help section of the local bookstore. Unfortunately, most of the books were not much help. ADHD seemed to fit, at times. Your shrink said you might be Bi-Polar, although she wasn't really certain. All you knew was that you rarely fit in, anywhere. One day at work, it hit you square in the face: I don't speak these people's language! Really, it was like you were all playing this game, and everyone knew the rules but you. You couldn't tell a joke, and you never "got" any joke your co-worker tried to tell you. People started getting annoyed with you, because you had a memory like a steel trap. They didn't appreciate it when you called them on the carpet. Who knew? This was my life, and worse. I finally aced several tests that pointed me to the answer to my questions. The Autism Spectrum. Guess what? Little kids with Autism grow up to be Adults with Autism. Diagnosed late in life? This is the place for you!

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Autism (ASD) Support Group.

@sirgalahad

hugs youse I come and go when its appropriate for me to comment or contribute .seeing I got dissed I felt it better only to visit

Jump to this post

@sirgalahad We both know that there will be times that someone doesn't agree with what we said. There is room enough here around the table of Mayo Connect and in the world for many ideas, thoughts, and opinions. That is my thought. Please visit often and share your thoughts as you feel comfortable.
Ginger

REPLY
@sirgalahad

hugs youse I come and go when its appropriate for me to comment or contribute .seeing I got dissed I felt it better only to visit

Jump to this post

@sirgalahad, you are going to make me very sad here. Was I the one who dissed you? I certainly did not mean to do so. You have my utmost respect, sir. I will be looking for any post that resembles disrespect. Surely there was some misunderstanding? I won't rest until I figure it out. Gentle hugs!

REPLY
@sirgalahad

we also go through silent meltdowns or autism burnout

Jump to this post

sirgalahad, our meltdowns may express themselves in different ways, but we are all connected on the Spectrum. We are a lovely tribe, I think, and I am grateful for everyone here. Thank you for your open sharing. That is a courageous thing to do.

REPLY
@sirgalahad

CAN I ALSO add to advise that we stim which is moving our hands and body or we rock and we ultra focused to also calm ourselves and then we scream and verbalize and burst out yelling and continue to on and on until we get all our frustrations

Jump to this post

sirgalahad, the actor who plays in all those creepy movies, Anthony Hopkins, was recently diagnosed with Autism. He tells about rubbing his hands together, which I do. I don't recall whether he rocks or not, but I do that as well.
Why is it that it takes a celebrity to make Autism ok to the rest of the world?
Why can't we be who we are, and not wear a mask to appear more acceptable?
I don't have all the answers. But it feels better to not be alone. To know there are so many others who feel as I do, makes it better. Thank you for being you. "Talk " to you later!

REPLY
@mamacita

@sirgalahad, you are going to make me very sad here. Was I the one who dissed you? I certainly did not mean to do so. You have my utmost respect, sir. I will be looking for any post that resembles disrespect. Surely there was some misunderstanding? I won't rest until I figure it out. Gentle hugs!

Jump to this post

no dear it was someone else bitching about how I accidently forget I am using capitals .it made me feel put down and angered and it was inadvertent but I was then threatened by this person whom is one of the mentors .it simply reminded me of my being autistic and to expect abuse and denigration and being perfect for able boidied people

REPLY
@sirgalahad

no dear it was someone else bitching about how I accidently forget I am using capitals .it made me feel put down and angered and it was inadvertent but I was then threatened by this person whom is one of the mentors .it simply reminded me of my being autistic and to expect abuse and denigration and being perfect for able boidied people

Jump to this post

@sirgalahad, I am so sorry. I really don't think that Neurotypicals can appreciate the huge amount of effort it takes for us to" pass" in our society. Directions to a building, billboards, instructions on filling out just about any form....all are from a Neurotypical point of view. For us, it is like learning a new language.
Because we tend to think outside of the box, something like using capital letters is of very little importance one way or the other. I personally use capital letters in notes or letters to family.
I learned that's a big no no to Neurotypicals!

I am 66 years old and I still do things that annoy or bother my children, and they call me on it. Keeps me humble. Please consider this a bump in the road. You are most definitely welcome here. None of us is perfect. I care about you and wish the best for you! Talk to you soon.

REPLY
@gingerw

@sirgalahad We both know that there will be times that someone doesn't agree with what we said. There is room enough here around the table of Mayo Connect and in the world for many ideas, thoughts, and opinions. That is my thought. Please visit often and share your thoughts as you feel comfortable.
Ginger

Jump to this post

Dearest@gingerw, yes, yes, and yes! There is room at the table. That table is covered with a beautiful tablecloth of grace and forgiveness. There are candles on it full of life and love. A plate of homemade cookies to share with everyone, Mayo Connect members and Mentors, Moderators and Director alike. Refreshing drinks of all kinds, each to suit the tastes of everyone gathered there. Let us also remember to never get too hungry, too angry
, too lonely, or too tired.

We can delay or prevent meltdowns and burnouts if we can manage to check ourselves daily for these triggers. I want all of us to have every advantage we can possibly have.

I want all of us to practice self care, and to really think it through. We can learn to listen to our bodies, and learn from what they teach us. Namaste. Love you all big!

REPLY
@mamacita

Hey Gingerw! Camping, eh? What fun! It's still a bit too hot and muggy for us down here. I haven't touched my book in several days. But reading is a welcome diversion. In a way, it's like taking a trip. More later. Hugs!

Jump to this post

@gingerw , hi there! Going to the library today or tomorrow. Checking out your author, Rosalind James. I may pick up a few of her tomes. Planning on reading more, Facebooking less! Au revoir!
Mamacita

REPLY
@mamacita

@gingerw , hi there! Going to the library today or tomorrow. Checking out your author, Rosalind James. I may pick up a few of her tomes. Planning on reading more, Facebooking less! Au revoir!
Mamacita

Jump to this post

@mamacita My favorite author of all time is a gentleman named Ivan Doig. His books were semi-autobiographical, and led the reader to a magical place, making you feel you were right there with him. The now-deceased judge who introduced me to this author, laughed when I said, "Someday I want to grow up and write like Mr. Doig". When I retired, Judge Grant gifted me with Mr. Doig's last hard-cover book.

REPLY

@sirgalahad and @colleenyoung , good evening! I was looking through my pictures and found this larger version of the picture used on my profile. I wish to use it in a roundabout way to describe some elements of communication.
Every person behind me is a cousin of mine, either through marriage, or as biological cousins. Two of them are by marriage. Two are cousins, either first or first cousins once removed. Spectrum sensitivities seem to have a bit of a genetic component. That might be debatable to some, but I have my opinion on that.

Because my cousins through "blood" tend to speak my language (Spectrum) we usually are on the same page with one another. We basically understand what the other one is saying. Even if we have just met face to face for the very first time.
My cousins by marriage, lovely folks, are Neurotypical, as in, not on the Autism Spectrum. We do not speak " typical. " They do speak "typical." Aspies or Auties, whatever I choose to call myself, we have a difficult time with "typical" language. Neurotypical language is full of nuances and other subtleties that a concrete thinker finds confusing. That is again, one reason why it is so hard for Auties to understand jokes. Jokes leave me flat.
I can only describe communication between these two "tribes" of people, as attempting to speak French with a Frenchman, after you have lived through forty plus years past your High School French classes. Not impossible, but difficult. The more the Autie has learned to practice "masking" the easier it will be for him/her/ them to understand the Neurotypical's language. Masking is what Auties have learned to do to survive in the workplace. The more an Autie "masks" the more they must unwind and destress. Because this takes tremendous amounts of energy. It is extremely tiresome to do this every day.

We have an old friend with a super high IQ who works for the Space Program in Huntsville ,Alabama. I suspect he is an Autie, much like Einstein was thought to be. Absolutely brilliant. He would show up at work frequently with his comfy houseshoes instead of regular work shoes. His mind was so full of ideas swirling around inside, he would absentmindedly put on what made him the most comfortable.

Not all of us are geniuses. Many of us are in the Talented and Gifted programs in school. Lots of us are in the Arts and Drama.
Tons of us are Engineers of all kinds. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We do not mean any harm. We are gentle, often super empathetic and empathic souls. We would not disobey the rules or hurt your feelings for anything in the world. The thing is, we need a guide to the Neurotypical Community. Maybe they will come up with a Neurotypical for Dummies book. I hope this has made some sense. We all have a place at the table, as @gingerw and I are won't to say now and then. See you, love you, bye!

REPLY
Please sign in or register to post a reply.