Adults On The Autism Spectrum

@sirgalahad and @colleenyoung , good evening! I was looking through my pictures and found this larger version of the picture used on my profile. I wish to use it in a roundabout way to describe some elements of communication.
Every person behind me is a cousin of mine, either through marriage, or as biological cousins. Two of them are by marriage. Two are cousins, either first or first cousins once removed. Spectrum sensitivities seem to have a bit of a genetic component. That might be debatable to some, but I have my opinion on that.

Because my cousins through "blood" tend to speak my language (Spectrum) we usually are on the same page with one another. We basically understand what the other one is saying. Even if we have just met face to face for the very first time.
My cousins by marriage, lovely folks, are Neurotypical, as in, not on the Autism Spectrum. We do not speak " typical. " They do speak "typical." Aspies or Auties, whatever I choose to call myself, we have a difficult time with "typical" language. Neurotypical language is full of nuances and other subtleties that a concrete thinker finds confusing. That is again, one reason why it is so hard for Auties to understand jokes. Jokes leave me flat.
I can only describe communication between these two "tribes" of people, as attempting to speak French with a Frenchman, after you have lived through forty plus years past your High School French classes. Not impossible, but difficult. The more the Autie has learned to practice "masking" the easier it will be for him/her/ them to understand the Neurotypical's language. Masking is what Auties have learned to do to survive in the workplace. The more an Autie "masks" the more they must unwind and destress. Because this takes tremendous amounts of energy. It is extremely tiresome to do this every day.

We have an old friend with a super high IQ who works for the Space Program in Huntsville ,Alabama. I suspect he is an Autie, much like Einstein was thought to be. Absolutely brilliant. He would show up at work frequently with his comfy houseshoes instead of regular work shoes. His mind was so full of ideas swirling around inside, he would absentmindedly put on what made him the most comfortable.

Not all of us are geniuses. Many of us are in the Talented and Gifted programs in school. Lots of us are in the Arts and Drama.
Tons of us are Engineers of all kinds. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We do not mean any harm. We are gentle, often super empathetic and empathic souls. We would not disobey the rules or hurt your feelings for anything in the world. The thing is, we need a guide to the Neurotypical Community. Maybe they will come up with a Neurotypical for Dummies book. I hope this has made some sense. We all have a place at the table, as @gingerw and I are won't to say now and then. See you, love you, bye!

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@mamacita As someone on the Spectrum, so many others find it hard to understand my need to be alone to recharge. It feels like a constant battle to be able to take care of my needs, in the best way I can. Masking allows us to almost maintain in the neuro world, and boy! do we need to careful. So glad we have this place to come to, to talk and gather strength, and learn from the experiences of others.
Ginger

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@gingerw, @mamacita @sirgalahad

I have been reading your posts and as a neurotypical I appreciate all that you have taught me about living on the Spectrum. I have some questions, though. If you feel that any of these questions are objectionable or none of my business, please feel free to say so. it is not my intent to hurt any feelings, just to gain some understanding.

So my first question is please describe to me what "masking" is? When I think about masking I think of times in my life when I was fearful to try something new, but I put on a mask, so to speak, and charged forward and acted confidently, even though I did not feel confident. Is this similar to "masking" for those on the Spectrum? If not, how is it different?

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@hopeful33250 Teresa, I for one, am grateful that you ask. It means a lot that someone wants to try to understand "how we tick". Speaking from my own corner, for me masking is putting on a front of interaction with others, making all attempts to fit in and "be like a neurotypical". Tamping down the stimuli of crowds/smells/sounds, working hard to not retreat in to my safe spot when in groups. Shopping at 6AM when it is less crowded. As @sirgalahad mentioned, I have our young cat to distract me, my Zentangle/crochet/quilting/journaling to assist in recharging me, and focusing on these help keep me from wigging out. Hope this helps, Ginger

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@gingerw, @mamacita @sirgalahad

I have been reading your posts and as a neurotypical I appreciate all that you have taught me about living on the Spectrum. I have some questions, though. If you feel that any of these questions are objectionable or none of my business, please feel free to say so. it is not my intent to hurt any feelings, just to gain some understanding.

So my first question is please describe to me what "masking" is? When I think about masking I think of times in my life when I was fearful to try something new, but I put on a mask, so to speak, and charged forward and acted confidently, even though I did not feel confident. Is this similar to "masking" for those on the Spectrum? If not, how is it different?

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we mask or pull back to a point where we either stim or repetively move or to do aparticular task with our dolls to give us some quiet and semblance of order .when we are overwhelmed by noise fruxtrations being ignored , girls more than boys mask to be accepted by family and not draw attention to ourselves ,or when we are rejected and constantly bullied we then mask or behave in a certain way tobe accepted until; we are bullied and we explode .maskingbrings us comfort and not to stand out when we are undiagnosed or when in my case my father hated having a disabled son due tobthe fact as an major in the british army it affected him socially and his persona .I always masked with my sisters and then they denied I was autistic even after I was diagnosed by prof ian hickey brain and mind institute at Sydney university clinical psychologist

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@sirgalahad and @colleenyoung , good evening! I was looking through my pictures and found this larger version of the picture used on my profile. I wish to use it in a roundabout way to describe some elements of communication.
Every person behind me is a cousin of mine, either through marriage, or as biological cousins. Two of them are by marriage. Two are cousins, either first or first cousins once removed. Spectrum sensitivities seem to have a bit of a genetic component. That might be debatable to some, but I have my opinion on that.

Because my cousins through "blood" tend to speak my language (Spectrum) we usually are on the same page with one another. We basically understand what the other one is saying. Even if we have just met face to face for the very first time.
My cousins by marriage, lovely folks, are Neurotypical, as in, not on the Autism Spectrum. We do not speak " typical. " They do speak "typical." Aspies or Auties, whatever I choose to call myself, we have a difficult time with "typical" language. Neurotypical language is full of nuances and other subtleties that a concrete thinker finds confusing. That is again, one reason why it is so hard for Auties to understand jokes. Jokes leave me flat.
I can only describe communication between these two "tribes" of people, as attempting to speak French with a Frenchman, after you have lived through forty plus years past your High School French classes. Not impossible, but difficult. The more the Autie has learned to practice "masking" the easier it will be for him/her/ them to understand the Neurotypical's language. Masking is what Auties have learned to do to survive in the workplace. The more an Autie "masks" the more they must unwind and destress. Because this takes tremendous amounts of energy. It is extremely tiresome to do this every day.

We have an old friend with a super high IQ who works for the Space Program in Huntsville ,Alabama. I suspect he is an Autie, much like Einstein was thought to be. Absolutely brilliant. He would show up at work frequently with his comfy houseshoes instead of regular work shoes. His mind was so full of ideas swirling around inside, he would absentmindedly put on what made him the most comfortable.

Not all of us are geniuses. Many of us are in the Talented and Gifted programs in school. Lots of us are in the Arts and Drama.
Tons of us are Engineers of all kinds. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We do not mean any harm. We are gentle, often super empathetic and empathic souls. We would not disobey the rules or hurt your feelings for anything in the world. The thing is, we need a guide to the Neurotypical Community. Maybe they will come up with a Neurotypical for Dummies book. I hope this has made some sense. We all have a place at the table, as @gingerw and I are won't to say now and then. See you, love you, bye!

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@sirgalahad

I am so sorry to hear that your dad was not able to accept his remarkable son, just because he was different. That must have been very difficult for you.

Thank you so much for that insight into masking. From what you said, I understand that masking is also a way to provide some solitude in an anxiety provoking situation. Am I correct in my understanding?

I would enjoy hearing from others on the Spectrum as to what masking means to you. Any others who would like to share with me?

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Hello @mamacita

Once again, in trying to understand the experience of folks on the Spectrum, could you explain a little more about what you said In the above post,

"That is again, one reason why it is so hard for Auties to understand jokes. Jokes leave me flat."

Is it hard for someone on the Spectrum to find humor? If so, what does humor look like for a person on the Spectrum? Are there TV shows, etc. that make you laugh?

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