1. < Autism (ASD)

Adults On The Autism Spectrum

Posted by Mamacita, Alumna Mentor @mamacita, Apr 29, 2018

Maybe you were really shy as a child. Perhaps you took home a huge stack of books from the school library, read them, and returned them the next day. Or did your best friend find you crying in your closet, unable to answer the question "Why?" At any rate, your life could be traced to the Self-Help section of the local bookstore. Unfortunately, most of the books were not much help. ADHD seemed to fit, at times. Your shrink said you might be Bi-Polar, although she wasn't really certain. All you knew was that you rarely fit in, anywhere. One day at work, it hit you square in the face: I don't speak these people's language! Really, it was like you were all playing this game, and everyone knew the rules but you. You couldn't tell a joke, and you never "got" any joke your co-worker tried to tell you. People started getting annoyed with you, because you had a memory like a steel trap. They didn't appreciate it when you called them on the carpet. Who knew? This was my life, and worse. I finally aced several tests that pointed me to the answer to my questions. The Autism Spectrum. Guess what? Little kids with Autism grow up to be Adults with Autism. Diagnosed late in life? This is the place for you!

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Autism (ASD) Support Group.

Mamacita, Alumna Mentor | @mamacita | Jul 26, 2018

@azrebecca66, thanks for liking the post on Adults On The Autism Spectrum! We are trying to create a gathering of sorts here for those of us who feel, believe, or identify with the multitude of characteristics that are Autism Spectrum in nature. Sometimes it is not financially feasible to seek a Psychiatric determination of Autism, in the case of adults. Many feel that the wide array of tests that are available are sufficient to determine one's place on the Spectrum. Unless a professional diagnosis is required for accommodations in university classes, or support services/training, many do not seek it. Education and research are coming up with new information every day. We desire to make this a safe place to share one's story, to ask questions, and to be supported. We are not less than. We think differently, because we are " wired" differently. I hope to hear from you again in the future. We want to learn from you and hear your story, as much as you are comfortable sharing it.

REPLY
Mamacita, Alumna Mentor | @mamacita | Jul 26, 2018
In reply to @hopeful33250 "@mamasitalucita I appreciate your starting this discussion of the Spectrum. This could be very enlightening for..." + (show)
@hopeful33250

@mamasitalucita

I appreciate your starting this discussion of the Spectrum. This could be very enlightening for many of our adults who have problems that seem to be beyond treatment.

Could you share a bit more about how the Spectrum diagnosis came about? Was it a professional who diagnosed you? If so, what in particular led to this diagnosis?

Once again, when sharing personal experiences on this online community, please feel free to share only as you are comfortable doing so.

Teresa

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@sirgalahad, I feel really Autistic and down in the dumps today. I had my foot surgery, and all went very well. I am not even in pain. But my heart is heavy. I have a Neurotypical friend that I finally told her frankly how I felt about an issue. I hurt her feelings, and she told me so. I had been telling her in many different ways for almost two years why I felt the way I did. She still doesn't seem to understand where I am coming from. She seems to have gone on a whole different path than I have. I will always appreciate the good times we shared, but the issue is a deal breaker for me. With this being a public forum,( Even with assumed names) I dare not delve any further. Suffice it to say, I am kicking myself in the behind for not being bolder, sooner. I just am not the judgy type, cos I certainly know how it feels to be judged. I don't have tons of really close friends and I hate to lose one that meant so much to me. Some things we have no control over. I really think I lost her a couple of years ago. Thanks for listening. I am loyal to a fault.

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Mamacita, Alumna Mentor | @mamacita | Jul 27, 2018
In reply to @mamacita "If there was a " cure" for Autism, what would you do? Would you research it..." + (show)
@mamacita

If there was a " cure" for Autism, what would you do? Would you research it first? Would you not check into it at all? Or would you study the research, knowing that there are so many people on the Spectrum who have not had the compassion, the encouragement, or maybe the training you have had? What about the late diagnosed children who cannot speak but a few words? But they can type a novel on a keyboard. What about them? What about us? What would you change if you could?

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@sirgalahad , I am so thankful that we have this understanding, you and I, about the actual wiring of our Autie brains. I also have ADHD, and as I told a perfect stranger yesterday, I like my brain just the way it is. I know I ramble on and on sometimes when I am speaking about my obsessions. I can tell that I am beginning to bore people when they get this little glazed look in their eyes. At least now I have these wonderful cards I can give out to people that tell about the work being done with Mayo Clinic Connect. They are great ice breakers or conversation finishers. I even gave out cards while I was having foot surgery yesterday. I am trying to make the Neurotypical world a better place for my Aspie precious little Grandson. He has a brilliant brain beneath the guise of the little professor who can recite with perfect accuracy the script of every children's show he has ever seen. Just imagine how great he would be in memorizing scripts for a play! There are positives to every negative anyone can throw at us. Hope you are having a wonderful day down under there in Australia. Say! I have an idea. If anyone out there reading this would like to post the general area of where they are from, that would be great! Southern USA, here!

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Mentor
Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Jul 27, 2018
In reply to @hopeful33250 "@mamasitalucita I appreciate your starting this discussion of the Spectrum. This could be very enlightening for..." + (show)
@hopeful33250

@mamasitalucita

I appreciate your starting this discussion of the Spectrum. This could be very enlightening for many of our adults who have problems that seem to be beyond treatment.

Could you share a bit more about how the Spectrum diagnosis came about? Was it a professional who diagnosed you? If so, what in particular led to this diagnosis?

Once again, when sharing personal experiences on this online community, please feel free to share only as you are comfortable doing so.

Teresa

Jump to this post

Hello @mamacita

I am sorry that you are grieving the loss of a long time friend. However, some relationships are just for a season. I'm glad that you can enjoy the memories that were good.

Now, that you have been honest with your friend, you can move forward. I'm sure there are lots of folks who would love to have a friend like you. If I lived closer, I'd certainly call you.

Teresa

REPLY
Mamacita, Alumna Mentor | @mamacita | Jul 27, 2018
In reply to @mamacita "I think that one of the most challenging aspects that I find as an Adult on..." + (show)
@mamacita

I think that one of the most challenging aspects that I find as an Adult on the Autism Spectrum, is the ability to balance all my responsibilities at the same time that I carve out time for the creative, joyous part of me. I was so neglectful of myself for so many years, it is actually like waking up and consciously deciding who I want to be that day. Does that make any sense? There are so many demands on my time, your time, everyone's time. But we have to breathe. We have to relax, and enjoy taking our time with the beauty that is all around us. I feel as though I have been given a second chance at life. I try to stay in touch with what is going on around me. But I deliberately schedule time for me to do "Autism things" every day. To study about what makes people tick. To look at past mistakes and move on, realizing that they were lessons learned. To be patient and kind with myself helps me to be more patient and kind with others. I was not raised to be a planner. I was not raised to be organized. But for me, learning daily how to be more structured, and to plan the things that matter to me, helps me to weather the stress of living in a world that is too loud, too busy, and extremely anxiety-provoking. I am a concrete thinker. Whatever you tell me, I will believe, unless it is proven otherwise. I don't get jokes, cannot tell a joke, although people do say I have a good sense of humor. I am a Mac in a PC world. I think differently than most people, outside of the box. I don't fit in. But I do come in handy. And learning to live in the moment, to be mindful, to have balance, is a noble task. To sum it all up: Make every day count! That is my challenge!

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@sirgalahad , I have been told I was stupid. That I should shut up. That I should keep my mouth shut. That I was too nervous to do the job. ( This after I reported a facility to the State Welfare Department for child abuse.) You would be nervous too if you saw continual neglect of small children, and you wanted the place to wake up and do what's right. They never did. The state didn't do anything. I left. My friend who worked there left. Autistic people feel very derply. We do care about others. We care about animals on a deeper level, I think, than perhaps Neurotypicals do. Animals are lovers of their human friends no matter what color you are, how you vote, or where you live. Animals are good people. Anymore animal lovers out there?

REPLY
Gail Benson Ledesma , Alumni Mentor | @gailb | Jul 27, 2018
In reply to @mamacita "I think that one of the most challenging aspects that I find as an Adult on..." + (show)
@mamacita

I think that one of the most challenging aspects that I find as an Adult on the Autism Spectrum, is the ability to balance all my responsibilities at the same time that I carve out time for the creative, joyous part of me. I was so neglectful of myself for so many years, it is actually like waking up and consciously deciding who I want to be that day. Does that make any sense? There are so many demands on my time, your time, everyone's time. But we have to breathe. We have to relax, and enjoy taking our time with the beauty that is all around us. I feel as though I have been given a second chance at life. I try to stay in touch with what is going on around me. But I deliberately schedule time for me to do "Autism things" every day. To study about what makes people tick. To look at past mistakes and move on, realizing that they were lessons learned. To be patient and kind with myself helps me to be more patient and kind with others. I was not raised to be a planner. I was not raised to be organized. But for me, learning daily how to be more structured, and to plan the things that matter to me, helps me to weather the stress of living in a world that is too loud, too busy, and extremely anxiety-provoking. I am a concrete thinker. Whatever you tell me, I will believe, unless it is proven otherwise. I don't get jokes, cannot tell a joke, although people do say I have a good sense of humor. I am a Mac in a PC world. I think differently than most people, outside of the box. I don't fit in. But I do come in handy. And learning to live in the moment, to be mindful, to have balance, is a noble task. To sum it all up: Make every day count! That is my challenge!

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Kitties are my best friends! I've never met a cat (all cats are kitties to me) that I couldn't relate to. I remember my Mom once took me to visit my kindergarten teacher. I think her mother may have died. I sat down on the floor with a book as they talked, and within a few minutes my teacher's Siamese cat came over and curled up on my legs. The teacher was amazed and said her cat doesn't like any strangers, especially children. I continued to pet the cat and love on it the remainder of our visit.

At one time I had the unofficial "kitty rescue" in our small town. I caught over 100 feral or abandoned kitties, and had them spayed or neutered at the vet in the neighboring town. We gave many of them to local farmers who need barn kitties. Some were adopted by our inn guests, and I took litters to the Amish spice store where the lovely owners kept them contained to give away to visitors to their store. We kept about 5 or 6 around the B&B, as long as they had been "fixed." I was the original Kitty Whisperer.

We had a 19 acre ranch at one point with 16 miniature horses, 3 quarter horses, numerous chickens, turkeys, and a dog. I love all animals. The main thing I noticed when we sold all the horses and other animals as we were preparing to sell the ranch, was how "dead" it seemed when I was outside. Their presence was definitely missed and had contributed to the peaceful, wonderful feeling our ranch had. Our daughter has 3 indoor kitties that I love. I'm so happy to have these little furbabies to love! Yes, I'm an animal person.

Gail
VolunteerMentor

REPLY
calypso | @calypso | Jul 27, 2018
In reply to @mamacita "I think that one of the most challenging aspects that I find as an Adult on..." + (show)
@mamacita

I think that one of the most challenging aspects that I find as an Adult on the Autism Spectrum, is the ability to balance all my responsibilities at the same time that I carve out time for the creative, joyous part of me. I was so neglectful of myself for so many years, it is actually like waking up and consciously deciding who I want to be that day. Does that make any sense? There are so many demands on my time, your time, everyone's time. But we have to breathe. We have to relax, and enjoy taking our time with the beauty that is all around us. I feel as though I have been given a second chance at life. I try to stay in touch with what is going on around me. But I deliberately schedule time for me to do "Autism things" every day. To study about what makes people tick. To look at past mistakes and move on, realizing that they were lessons learned. To be patient and kind with myself helps me to be more patient and kind with others. I was not raised to be a planner. I was not raised to be organized. But for me, learning daily how to be more structured, and to plan the things that matter to me, helps me to weather the stress of living in a world that is too loud, too busy, and extremely anxiety-provoking. I am a concrete thinker. Whatever you tell me, I will believe, unless it is proven otherwise. I don't get jokes, cannot tell a joke, although people do say I have a good sense of humor. I am a Mac in a PC world. I think differently than most people, outside of the box. I don't fit in. But I do come in handy. And learning to live in the moment, to be mindful, to have balance, is a noble task. To sum it all up: Make every day count! That is my challenge!

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Absolutely an animal lover and a believer in how they can help people with all types of ailments. If a person is unable to have their own pets they can volunteer at shelters and help socialize cats or walk dogs etc.. You can even go to dog parks and just visit the pets/owners there because USUALLY dogs brought to a dog park are friendly and get along with other dogs, etc.
I was also involved with both my children and my pets with our local 4H in the Pet Therapy group. We visited assisted living places, the VA homes, etc. What a joy to see how those residents even the bed-ridden ones loved seeing the pets.

REPLY
Mentor
John, Volunteer Mentor | @johnbishop | Jul 27, 2018
In reply to @mamacita "I think that one of the most challenging aspects that I find as an Adult on..." + (show)
@mamacita

I think that one of the most challenging aspects that I find as an Adult on the Autism Spectrum, is the ability to balance all my responsibilities at the same time that I carve out time for the creative, joyous part of me. I was so neglectful of myself for so many years, it is actually like waking up and consciously deciding who I want to be that day. Does that make any sense? There are so many demands on my time, your time, everyone's time. But we have to breathe. We have to relax, and enjoy taking our time with the beauty that is all around us. I feel as though I have been given a second chance at life. I try to stay in touch with what is going on around me. But I deliberately schedule time for me to do "Autism things" every day. To study about what makes people tick. To look at past mistakes and move on, realizing that they were lessons learned. To be patient and kind with myself helps me to be more patient and kind with others. I was not raised to be a planner. I was not raised to be organized. But for me, learning daily how to be more structured, and to plan the things that matter to me, helps me to weather the stress of living in a world that is too loud, too busy, and extremely anxiety-provoking. I am a concrete thinker. Whatever you tell me, I will believe, unless it is proven otherwise. I don't get jokes, cannot tell a joke, although people do say I have a good sense of humor. I am a Mac in a PC world. I think differently than most people, outside of the box. I don't fit in. But I do come in handy. And learning to live in the moment, to be mindful, to have balance, is a noble task. To sum it all up: Make every day count! That is my challenge!

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We like you too!
REPLY
Mentor
Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Jul 27, 2018
In reply to @mamacita "I think that one of the most challenging aspects that I find as an Adult on..." + (show)
@mamacita

I think that one of the most challenging aspects that I find as an Adult on the Autism Spectrum, is the ability to balance all my responsibilities at the same time that I carve out time for the creative, joyous part of me. I was so neglectful of myself for so many years, it is actually like waking up and consciously deciding who I want to be that day. Does that make any sense? There are so many demands on my time, your time, everyone's time. But we have to breathe. We have to relax, and enjoy taking our time with the beauty that is all around us. I feel as though I have been given a second chance at life. I try to stay in touch with what is going on around me. But I deliberately schedule time for me to do "Autism things" every day. To study about what makes people tick. To look at past mistakes and move on, realizing that they were lessons learned. To be patient and kind with myself helps me to be more patient and kind with others. I was not raised to be a planner. I was not raised to be organized. But for me, learning daily how to be more structured, and to plan the things that matter to me, helps me to weather the stress of living in a world that is too loud, too busy, and extremely anxiety-provoking. I am a concrete thinker. Whatever you tell me, I will believe, unless it is proven otherwise. I don't get jokes, cannot tell a joke, although people do say I have a good sense of humor. I am a Mac in a PC world. I think differently than most people, outside of the box. I don't fit in. But I do come in handy. And learning to live in the moment, to be mindful, to have balance, is a noble task. To sum it all up: Make every day count! That is my challenge!

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@mamacita There is a hospital in my locale that has an active dog therapy program. Dogs and their owners walk the halls and everyone has a drop in blood pressure and feel happier after petting a dog! Teresa

REPLY
Mamacita, Alumna Mentor | @mamacita | Jul 27, 2018
In reply to @mamacita "I think that one of the most challenging aspects that I find as an Adult on..." + (show)
@mamacita

I think that one of the most challenging aspects that I find as an Adult on the Autism Spectrum, is the ability to balance all my responsibilities at the same time that I carve out time for the creative, joyous part of me. I was so neglectful of myself for so many years, it is actually like waking up and consciously deciding who I want to be that day. Does that make any sense? There are so many demands on my time, your time, everyone's time. But we have to breathe. We have to relax, and enjoy taking our time with the beauty that is all around us. I feel as though I have been given a second chance at life. I try to stay in touch with what is going on around me. But I deliberately schedule time for me to do "Autism things" every day. To study about what makes people tick. To look at past mistakes and move on, realizing that they were lessons learned. To be patient and kind with myself helps me to be more patient and kind with others. I was not raised to be a planner. I was not raised to be organized. But for me, learning daily how to be more structured, and to plan the things that matter to me, helps me to weather the stress of living in a world that is too loud, too busy, and extremely anxiety-provoking. I am a concrete thinker. Whatever you tell me, I will believe, unless it is proven otherwise. I don't get jokes, cannot tell a joke, although people do say I have a good sense of humor. I am a Mac in a PC world. I think differently than most people, outside of the box. I don't fit in. But I do come in handy. And learning to live in the moment, to be mindful, to have balance, is a noble task. To sum it all up: Make every day count! That is my challenge!

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@calypso those are the kinds of things that make life worthwhile and besutiful. We had a precious Sheltie named Franklin who we had to put down. He was suffering, and old, and he was only going to get worse. When he died we all went to the vet to see Franklin and love on him. It brought family members back together who hadn't spoken in years. Couldn't even be in the same room together. But there they were, one on each side of the precious soul who gave so much unconditional love to all he knew.

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