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Kidney transplant - The Journey from the Donor's Side
I'm headed to Rochester on the 10th for surgery on the 12th. I'm excited and nervous! I didn't know the recipient but have gotten to "meet" her and some of her daughters through phone calls and emails.
I've had labs done at my doctor's office and went to Mayo a few weeks ago for a million more tests. My case was presented to the donor board a few days before Christmas and I was approved and notified the same day. It seems like everything took so long and now is going so fast.
I'm interested in hearing from donors but haven't had a lot of luck. It seems like the recipients are the ones who post the most, which gives me some info and reassurance but it would be nice to hear from the other side too.
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@mauraacro At this point I must admit I could not have forseen waiting to hear rather I've been accepted as a donor would be hard but it is, ugh the waiting.
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2 ReactionsAt this point I must admit I could not have forseen waiting to hear rather I've been accepted as a donor would be riddled with emotion.
Emotion 10: impatience – really? I have a solid reputation for having patience of a saint
Emotion 11: urgency! 22 people on average a day are dying – that means around 88 people have died since I began this process
Emotion 12: joy… another contradiction/ balance of my rose colored lense/ realist fusion personality: at least the process has been started & just maybe a chain of 22 lives may be saved & 88 positively touched
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3 Reactions@onecentwalsh Oh my gosh aka OMG that is quite a trip for a living organ to take all by itself. The sociologist in me wants to know how it was kept alive or was it, how long did it take to get from your body to your recipients body & what are the statistics for your kidneys particular type of journey verses 2 people side by side?
The joy of giving is like true love in that it is priceless, inexplicably profound & completely confounds logical explanation.
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2 Reactions@beckyjohnson Now you have me thinking of my timeline. And yes, waiting is so hard, there is so much waiting.
Mine was a directed donation. The 1st labs sent to me be done by my dr. were (I think) to see if I was a match. I wasn't but there were no antibodies that would cause her to reject the kidney so I moved on to the evaluation. If you don't have a specific person, maybe you skip this step?
None of the billion tests during the evaluation had to do with matching or the recipient, they all had to do with making sure donation wouldn't harm me physically, mentally or financially.
Although I didn't know the donor or anyone related to her, I knew her name and that she had been on dialysis for almost 5 years and her health was failing rapidly at that point. She had 2 previous matches that backed out. Because of her age (61) and the length of time she was on dialysis, her "number" wasn't going to come up.
After my evaluation, I got to know her a bit through email but I didn't want to know too much for fear that I would put myself in the position as a judge. I had complete faith in Mayo that if she were someone who didn't take receiving a transplant seriously, they would not do the surgery but I worried that if I found out she was a jerk or if we had opposing beliefs, I wouldn't feel as positive about my donation. It wasn't a great thing to find out about myself. I would have gone through with the donation but not in the spirit that it was intended.
I guess what I'm saying is, I completely understand you wanting to meet the recipient and there are numerous ways to find someone specific who needs an organ but it could make things harder on you.
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5 Reactions@mauraacro Hmm there is plenty of food for thought in your post. To be honest I did have a slightly more than fleeting thought "What if I don't like the person?" before I was reminded I can find the good in anybody. You brought a really good point up - Mayo knows who is taking their transplant serious enough for surgery. I also liked your view about removing biased judgement from the equation. Which we already know from my openly honest post that I believe it is a waste of resources to give a perfectly good kidney to someone who lives a harmful - dangerous lifestyle detrimental to their quality of life. I enjoyed reading your thought provoking post. Thank you
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6 ReactionsFinished today's business while wondering will I get that special communication encouraging me on to the next step but it's after 5pm so not today. Although today's post feedback was quite interesting.
Emotion 13: confusion to know or not know the recipient presuming I'm even accepted
Emotion 14: annoyed by the fact I cannot figure out how to get my real life double rainbow profile picture to present upright because it is very symbolic to transplants, sunshine & rain
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3 Reactions@jodeej Thank you very much especially considering I have on rare occassion been accused of being boring. Although I have also been labeled funny a time or few. As a laid back type of gal I could not agree with you more to just let go and have faith in God. I'm certain it will get easier once confusion matures in to an actual plan of action. It is getting things done that creates calm in my soul.
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3 Reactions@onecentwalsh After reading posts today I came to the conclusion there is room for argument & persuasion over the topic to know or not know the recipient. As for me I'm swaying to the know side. However I have now learned enough from this group conversation that I will be filled with joy that I was part of a team that made a significant difference in multiple lives & a somewhat smaller difference as a minor medical player
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3 Reactions@beckyjohnson, I have been learning a lot about some of the thoughts that a donor must process as they make the decision to consider taking the first step as you so bravely have done. I thank you for sharing with us.
To calm some of your concerns, you will be able to discuss these issues with the transplant team as part of the living donor process. I wish you the best possible outcome. I also encourage you to discuss your thoughts with the transplant team at the appropriate time.
Sending you patience,
Rosemary
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4 Reactions@beckyjohnson, the health of both donor and recipient are of primary importance. And although there is urgency, every person has unique physical needs that require a very complete evaluation to get the best possible match.
Take care of yourself and allow the process to unfold in a safe and healthy manner.
Enjoy your weekend:-)
Rosemary
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