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Appreciation and concern
I’m feeling really hurt this morning. My husband newly diagnosed with MCI and potential ureter cancer. I try to take breaths when he verbally attacks me like all his issues are my fault. I handle 99% of the needs to be done from house, financial and medical management. He spends most of his time watching dateline, sports games and not much else. Last night I was working my craft room and he came down and say he couldn’t get his game on the TV. He has no ability to understand electronics. He no longer understand how his phone works except to make or receive calls and text. I went upstairs to see what the issue was with the TV. I said let me figure it out. Somehow he erased all streaming services, cable connects. Apparently he reset the TV. How who knows. But as I was resetting the TV so he could watch the baseball game he started pacing the floor and yelling how bad I treat him. I threw down the remote (luckily I got the game back on) and left the room. No appreciation, no thank you nothing about how I belittle him, makes him feel like a child. It’s like I’m only here to serve hime. Yes, I’m venting and more hurt than mad. I’m completely dumbfounded how quickly things are changing. Luckily I have a appointment with my counselor Monday. IT IS SO VERY HARD.
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Hi Grandma Joan!
I understand that perfectly! One day my husband came downstairs after dressing, wearing none of MY shirts!
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5 Reactions@dianaml
Sorry for typo...one of my shirts
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1 Reaction@dianaml 'Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.' 😀
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2 ReactionsI too can relate to what everyone is saying. My husband is very independent, still goes to the gym, pays the bills though I do frequent checks, drive and pretty much everything he’s done previously. The hardest part for me is his lack of empathy, he’ll do things for himself without any thoughts of me, he’s clueless of why I might be crying. He hugs me if I approach him and ask him to but doesn’t seem to need the physical contact which is something that is completely opposite of him. I’m beginning to feel more like his parent rather than his wife. It makes me sad. Thanks for listening.
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6 Reactions@laneywj
Please know you are not alone. I struggle with the lack of empathy, loss of connection and intimacy, and feeling like a roommate or my husband's mother (based on how he speaks to me sometimes; asking permission to do things that he doesn't need permission for).
So very sorry for you and all of us who have 'lost' our loved ones that are still physically here. It's a tough one and so hard to deal with it comes up in my therapy sessions.
All the best to you. ☀️
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6 ReactionsTo dianaml. Would he be ok with you just getting out clothes for him ? My husband still can do this, and successfully. But, the thing is, he keeps thinking it’s ok to put the same clothes on, since he didn’t get them dirty. My solution is to put them in the washer after he goes to bed, get out clean clothes, put them in the same place he left the others, put the things in back in the pockets, and even the belt through the loops. No argument given. It seems like this would be a lot less trouble than to label his clothes, which may or may not, solve your problem.
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