Therapy Homework: How Caregiving Affects Relationships

Hi, Judi, I am back on Connect after a month hiatus and realize how I’ve missed it. I took my trip in mid-September and had a beautiful time visiting with 5 siblings and their families. It was heavenly to be fussed over and have “normal” conversations. Plus I didn’t have to worry about my husband’s moodiness or having to repeat things over and over.
I haven’t heard much from my friends lately and now a second daughter is questioning whether he even has Alzheimer’s as he hides it so well. I probably should call them but I am exhausted and a bit disappointed.

@judimahoney
Thank you Judi. You are correct that he is not priority. Myself and my husband are the priority. Working on letting go of it and it is getting better. No person survies this dementia and at some point I will no longer have any reason to communicate. i am a strong believer in "karma", too. Grateful for each day.

@diane07710
Also, his doctor can inform DMV or there can be an anonymous concern letter to the DMV, and they would send him a letter to come and get re-tested.
Take care, and so sorry you are around all the negativity. 🌼

@marilynt
Hi, if there are doubters in the family just have them spend a few days with him. Then they'll see the light.
Thanks for your response and welcome back! I bet it was wonderful to hold actual conversations and get fussed over. That hopefully filled your tank for awhile. 😊

@cyds My own son and his wife didn't talk to me or my husband for a long time. And there were two grands involved. It was devastating, but I kept trying, gave them space, but I kept trying. I do believe love does have a way of breaking through, eventually. Hopefully your distance, along with also rebuilding by showing up now, provides some better, more meaningful connection in the long run. It's all so confusing. This thing called life.
Best, Karla

@kjc48 Every day is a new day!🌺
I just got a text from a lady that cleans my home wondering how I was doing. She belongs to my Church and knows what is going on with my husband and my own medical situation of recent knee surgery. So God gave me a boost!

@lolozinger, welcome to the group. Are you caring for someone living with cognitive impairment? How are you doing?

There is no denying that dementia caregiving is isolating. I have tried to cope by texting my friends and family just to stay in touch. Knowing what is happening in their lives takes the focus off of mine. And if they are struggling with something I always try to give encouragement as I think what goes around comes around. I also have several at home projects in the works at any given time. Minor home repairs/upgrades, sewing clothes for myself, scrapbooking, gardening, reading, though getting to the library can be iffy. Sometimes I take him with me and he is ok to sit in the car while I grab a couple of books. The novels I choose usually involve some kind of challenge for the protagonist that is always overcome but not always as they had thought it would. Sort of how I think my life is right now. One new habit that I have incorporated into my daily routine is to read a few pages from my book for caregivers: "Daily Comfort for Caregivers, 365 Devotional Readings" Barbour Publishing 2009. first thing in the morning with my coffee. Sort of an attitude adjustment exercise. It has helped me remember that I am not alone. That there is always One to lean on and listen to my prayers for patience and compassion. Knowing that I am doing God's work here on earth by caring for my husband gives me the feeling of satisfaction that I think might otherwise be difficult to attain. Lastly this forum has given me such good support and caregiving ideas for my husband and myself. I am grateful for all of you who post here. May God bless you in your caregiving roles.

@judimahoney But the domino effect does affect . . . Don’t feel bad !

@brn2tch My heart goes out to you ! Try to be strong ! May Grace be given to you.