Diagnosed with Isolation

I have constant neck pain and lost my teeth a year ago the pain in my neck is agonizing but the humiliation and unable to eat solid foods or speak to others is maybe worse dentures do not work for me and wont work. I haven't woken up with a pleasant thought in so long. Every single time I wake up I instantaneously revert back into thinking about ways I could end it. I hate feeling this way 24/7 its to the point of making me nauseous. I have in almost every feasible way become a detriment to my loved ones and society as a whole. I have isolated in this house for a very long time more than a few months but these last 2 months I've truly avoided all contact with people. I am unrecognizable not just physically but mentally, I had a suicide attempt around 16 years old which was admittedly now nowhere near as serious as the scenario I now find myself in. Idk why I'm here whispering into the wind. I don't know what im doing and truly never have and that's probably why I'm in this situation. I want to escape the constant 24/7 obsession with finding a solution that exists but just financially not feasible. I hate knowing solutions exist but just out of reach financially. Idk what im gonna do and knowing the future will only entail something even worse is so scary. When you know you're basically out of options and have nothing but dread in your future im unable to navigate any path forward because all paths are null and void. Today's my birthday and just really hope its the last one.

@daistone There is no solution to life. The Buddha said life is suffering, and the only way to avoid it is to accept impermanence and let go of expectations.

It's just an attitude you have to develop to look on the brighter side. May I suggest an app called "Curable" that helped me with chronic pain? It's great because it teaches you where pain comes from. It also has groups so you can socialize with other people in similar situations. It worked for me.
I have many wealthy friends. They are no happier than I am.

I also don't believe there's no solution for your teeth problems. Perhaps implants?
Have you explored the dental schools in your area? They might have charity programs or student programs.

@daistone - Happy birthday, even if today does not feel so happy. Glad you are here. How horrible to feel physical pain and feel that you are a detriment to your loved ones and society as a whole.

If you need to talk to someone immediately, please contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
– Call or text 988
– Chat with a counsellor at https://988lifeline.org/chat/

They are there 24/7.

I also moved your post to this discussion where other members have talked about isolation, so that you could chat with them and get insights from them:

- Diagnosed with Isolation https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/isolation/

Please meet @thisismarilynb @brandysparks @ikemike12 and others. I'd also love for you to meet @gingerw. They may have some experiences to share about isolation and about feeling nothing but dread in your future.

I appreciate that you posted here on Mayo Clinic Connect. We're here and we're listening. Have you had a chance to send a message to your primary care doctor about what you can do next? Do you also see a therapist at all (perhaps virtually)?

@daistone Do you believe you’re the only person who has no teeth and cannot eat normal food you’re sadly mistaken. I hope you’ve been under psychiatric care for most of your life? Are you currently on any medication? Today in our past and present Covid and Flu danger wearing a mask outside is no problem and many people still do on a regular bases. With you having isolated yourself have you gotten the recommended vaccines to protect yourself? And due to this self imposed isolation you also lack any community gained immunity from vaccines so wearing a mask would only make sense for you. You’re out of options only because you have not obtained needed support. Do you work? Do you have an income? Do you have health insurance?

@lisalucier Thank you I'm sorry for the late reply I never got these notifications. I haven't improved in all areas but slightly in regards to my neck pain although still lingering. But now just got out of the ER which had me have to speak with others which is so humiliating. I currently have colitus although I may have to still see a gastrointestinal specialist if I don't improve with that. I dont really have any therapy experience outside of my suicide attempt at 16 and all that is super hazy to me. Also no and haven't had the motivation to speak with people not only because of the humiliation but can never eat enough to have enough energy.

@daistone I am so sorry you are struggling so. I do understand and empathize because I struggle with similar issues. Not intestinal but isolation and I am having serious dental problems due to a medication I take that stops saliva production

Why is it not your choice to be isolated? I am the same way. It is my choice because that is how I feel safe. I am very fearful and I only know that by the tension and exhaustion I get when I am around people. It is not conscious. We all need to get to the unconscious abuse and pain to heal it or it becomes our fate. I am codependent from a gross childhood so fearful of people. Joining a senior club is a great idea. Facing your fears is the best way to cure it. I would also suggest you go to Codependents Anonymous online. I think you will find it very helpful.