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Diagnosed with Isolation
A few years ago I had a social worker give me the diagnosis of isolation. Two social workers at a different psychosocial network say that I am isolated. I have only one close friend. So what? I have many casual friends. I am out regularly. People talk to me whenever I am out. There are so many people I know by face but not personally. Every time I go to 7- Eleven and the friendly people talk to me. Isolated is the least appropriate word to use for me. I only feel alone because I do not have a boyfriend anymore.
The next time my social worker asks me about feeling isolated or uses that word to describe me I will tell her isolated is the least appropriate word to use for me and tell her the other things I have mentioned. I hate the word isolated.
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I have constant neck pain and lost my teeth a year ago the pain in my neck is agonizing but the humiliation and unable to eat solid foods or speak to others is maybe worse dentures do not work for me and wont work. I haven't woken up with a pleasant thought in so long. Every single time I wake up I instantaneously revert back into thinking about ways I could end it. I hate feeling this way 24/7 its to the point of making me nauseous. I have in almost every feasible way become a detriment to my loved ones and society as a whole. I have isolated in this house for a very long time more than a few months but these last 2 months I've truly avoided all contact with people. I am unrecognizable not just physically but mentally, I had a suicide attempt around 16 years old which was admittedly now nowhere near as serious as the scenario I now find myself in. Idk why I'm here whispering into the wind. I don't know what im doing and truly never have and that's probably why I'm in this situation. I want to escape the constant 24/7 obsession with finding a solution that exists but just financially not feasible. I hate knowing solutions exist but just out of reach financially. Idk what im gonna do and knowing the future will only entail something even worse is so scary. When you know you're basically out of options and have nothing but dread in your future im unable to navigate any path forward because all paths are null and void. Today's my birthday and just really hope its the last one.
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2 Reactions@daistone - Happy birthday, even if today does not feel so happy. Glad you are here. How horrible to feel physical pain and feel that you are a detriment to your loved ones and society as a whole.
If you need to talk to someone immediately, please contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
– Call or text 988
– Chat with a counsellor at https://988lifeline.org/chat/
They are there 24/7.
I also moved your post to this discussion where other members have talked about isolation, so that you could chat with them and get insights from them:
- Diagnosed with Isolation https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/isolation/
Please meet @thisismarilynb @brandysparks @ikemike12 and others. I'd also love for you to meet @gingerw. They may have some experiences to share about isolation and about feeling nothing but dread in your future.
I appreciate that you posted here on Mayo Clinic Connect. We're here and we're listening. Have you had a chance to send a message to your primary care doctor about what you can do next? Do you also see a therapist at all (perhaps virtually)?
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2 Reactions@daistone
I hear you 😢
I feel the same dread each day.
You are not alone in this feeling.
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2 ReactionsI wonder what the options for end of life you have considered that are out of reach financially?
@ceciford I believe they meant that the means for getting the correct & successful help for their situation seemed out of reach, financially. They are obsessed with finding help but, then they cannot afford the service.
Not at all uncommon.
@daistone
Do you have ANY psychiatric or psychological help? Can you get any? Do you have a primary and can you reach out to him/her? Keep reaching out as you can. Someone will help. Just don’t give up.
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3 Reactions@daistone
I hope you are okay. I know how it feels to be like, no one understands how much pain ppl go through, from surgery, depression, or sickness. And at times, i feel like a bag of trash to my family because of all my surgeries and also I live with depression, I am sick with something that has no medicine to get rid of. And I just had my left hip implant removal and had antibiotics spacers put in so I can't walk. So pain is real even if it's in our mind. So you're not alone. Please and I know it might be hard but change your way of thinking because that what helped me. I told myself that even if I am dying and in so much pain, that I am still alive and someone else has it worse than me right now in this world. But if you feel helpless please call someone because I talk too much, lol 🤣 but I care about people who suffer alone because I've been there and it can get dark. So call a friend or family member and talk about your feelings ok if they don't listen to you then call someone else or a hotline number for support. I will keep in prayer if that's helps. And if no one told you today that you're a special person guess what ? You are a special person. God bless
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2 Reactions@daistone Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. There are so many people here who can certainly relate to parts of what you have said. We all have our own stories, our own journeys.
What is one thing you might do today that would life your feeling of isolation? Sit by a window and watch birds or other little critters go about their day? I don't think you are "whispering into the wind"; there really are people hearing you. What solutions have you considered, that are not financially feasible? Can you trade or barter for services? Can you reach out to a faith community you are comfortable with to share your feelings?
I hope you will look for the small thing that will render something not null and void.
Ginger
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1 Reaction@daistone Do you believe you’re the only person who has no teeth and cannot eat normal food you’re sadly mistaken. I hope you’ve been under psychiatric care for most of your life? Are you currently on any medication? Today in our past and present Covid and Flu danger wearing a mask outside is no problem and many people still do on a regular bases. With you having isolated yourself have you gotten the recommended vaccines to protect yourself? And due to this self imposed isolation you also lack any community gained immunity from vaccines so wearing a mask would only make sense for you. You’re out of options only because you have not obtained needed support. Do you work? Do you have an income? Do you have health insurance?
@daistone
So sorry to read you are struggling so much. Your life is totally worth it. You don’t state what your illness or how old you are but you deserve to be heard. Do you have a family member that can help you get some medical help. Never give up you are worth it .
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