1. < Caregivers: Mild Cognitive Impairment (MCI) & Dementia
Profile picture for ktcosmos

Occasionally looking at life beyond

Posted by ktcosmos @ktcosmos, 3 days ago

My question is this:

I love camping and have a small camper I haven’t been able to use since spouse moved from MCI to Alzheimer’s a few years back. I should note it wasn’t really his thing to begin with and taking him camping now isn’t feasible..

Every time I look at my camper I think I should sell it in the same way I’ve been regularly donating things of his/ours he won’t be able to use again.

But I ALSO think about the joy little camping outings have brought me and sometimes imagine a time in the future when I could get out there again. Sentimental, I know.

At age 73 (me) it may be unrealistic and selling it now may end up helping toward future care costs.

How to let it go and not look back? I know I can benefit from other people’s wisdom and experience on this conundrum on which I’m stuck.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Caregivers: Mild Cognitive Impairment (MCI) & Dementia Support Group.

Profile picture for lulululu
lulululu | @lulululu | 1 day ago
In reply to @tennbrown "If it is paid for, not in the way, and not eating money in storage; then,..." + (show)
Profile picture for tennbrown @tennbrown

If it is paid for, not in the way, and not eating money in storage; then, why do anything now? It sounds like just looking at it brings great memories and that is golden right now. If you sell it, it may add to any resentment you have toward the situation (not toward your husband of course). I am just starting down the ALZ trail with my husband. Fortunately, got plenty of training on how to handle things when we took care of his mother for 5 years. For over 20 years we fished bass tournaments all over the southeast (fishing and camping out-of-state tournaments) and I look at the bass boat probable very much as you look at your little camper. At first I was a bit bitter but now I fully concentrate on the happy memories and love that little boat for those. And love my husband more too.

Jump to this post

@tennbrown Great attitude! Being bitter just makes you sad and stressed. I too felt bitter because he had a long term affair and I didn't know until right before his diagnosis. I got into counseling and I am very spiritual so worked through it and enjoy every good day. He feels terrible but I decided I could either forgive and enjoy what we have left or be bitter. I love him and enjoy each day.

REPLY
Profile picture for shmerdloff
shmerdloff | @shmerdloff | 1 day ago
In reply to @kjc48 "@shmerdloff you thought you could trip me up with that "genre" of music, with your little..." + (show)
Profile picture for kjc48 @kjc48

@shmerdloff you thought you could trip me up with that "genre" of music, with your little teasers. No sir, you can't; I'm a music buff in that generation.
Best, Karla

Jump to this post

@kjc48
Can you tell us more? Favorite groups, singers, songs? More trivia?
Saw Jay and the Americans last night. 3rd "Jay" was perfect one he warmed up. Did up on the roof, you've lost that loving feeling pretty woman beatles medley (one if the group was McCartney in Beatlemania on Broadway).
And all their own stuff, including Some Enchanted Evening, which they hated but did for their parents. It became a hit and "... we had to keep singing it for the next 50 years."
Whole audience sang Cara Mia with them. 😄.

REPLY
Profile picture for maryvc
maryvc | @maryvc | 1 day ago

Meditate on it and meditate in it and feel what’s coming. If it’s not clear do nothing. Most important we can’t stop our life because our spouse is in pause.
I was so sad when I left my husband yesterday ( he is now in skilled care w hospice) I wake up sad and go to bed sad but I still have a life.
I cried in the activity therapists arms and she looked at me and said
“ don’t feel guilty. There is still a lot of life in you and more to live.”
I’m doing my best and I am looking forward to traveling again and grateful for the 55 years we have traveled life together.
If I were there I’d love to have a cup of coffee with you in your trailer wherever it’s parked.
Bless you all🙏🏻

REPLY
Profile picture for jehjeh
jehjeh | @jehjeh | 1 day ago

While caring for my DH I imagined life after caregiving as a quiet time spent finally reading those books I've been collecting, occasional lunch wirh friends, sitting peacefully in front of the fire with a cat on my lap. Finally, a chance to be quiet and find peace.

I told everyone I would have no use for the space my husband used in a building we co-owned with another party and that the other party would have all that extra space to rent.

Here we are, 15 months after my dear husband died and I'm creating an art studio in the space, taking piano lessons, volunteering at 2 places nearby, driving a friend's child to school 3 days a week, going to theater and concerts, planning trips... Living a life I had never imagined when DH was ill.

Please don't assume your life will always be what it is today. I didn't believe it when people told me there was life after AD, but I'm here to tell you there is... a lot of it.

REPLY
Profile picture for timber2026
timber2026 | @timber2026 | 3 hours ago

I had to do the same. I let so much go that had made me happy in our home. I also sold our home of 30 years. I have dealt with all this with the attitude that everything we possess here on earth is really only on loan to us. So let it go. It's someone else's turn to enjoy it the they, too, will have to pass it on. You have the memory of it from a different time in your heart. Push on through. You can do this! It's needful. 🙏❤️

REPLY
Please sign in or register to post a reply.