Estrangement Grief: Anyone else going through this?

I lost my mom at 10 years old and never got to grieve her since her pictures and things were instantly put away and I wasn’t allowed to talk about her.
As an adult, I have been estranged from my dad for 15 years. I miss him Terribly everyday but he refuses to let me back in his life.
My psychologist diagnosed me with complicated grief. I’ve been Doing some reading and understanding this saddness and talking about it helps. I really think speaking to some one will help.

Thanks to all who post. We are all going through this together -- and oh how I wish we could gather weekly in person to support each other.

Yes. I am going through this right now since I lost my significant other just recently.
Kent

@anxiousaphrodite I just read your Post and wanted to offer you encouragement. Eventually, you may establish a new relationship with your father. My story is similar but yours has a component that reminds me of my mother. Her father died when she was nine years old and she also was not allowed to talk about it. She is still alive and soon turns 95 years old. Recently she shared with me about the death of her father and opened up to me and it was humbling to hear. I felt so bad for her and in the way het mother handled in an era where grief and pain was not to be talked about. When she shared her story with me, I cried. For now, it’s OK for you to grieve alone, but know, that may be someday you may hear father’s story. I wish you peace as you love those around you, as doing so will help you to heal.

@michaelhughes Thank you so much for sharing your story. It reminds me of the song by the rock group "Journey" -- "Don't Stop Believing"....

@anxiousaphrodite I send love and blessings to you, Tammy. I hope you don't mind my suggesting that perhaps this is part of his way of dealing with grief. Not a good way, clearly, but his way.

The prolonged, unresolved grief of estrangement is very complicated. However, it also has physical aspects. I was hospitalized with Tokatsubo's cardiomyopathy also known as broken heart disease. It's serious, and directly related to grief and stress.

With the estrangement of adult children, the power lies with them. They may, or may not, eventually reach out. If they don't, there're no second acts in old age.It's very unlikely that seniors can reinvent themselves. If they do, can you possibly forgive them for the horrible damage they have done?

@olderdiva12345 Easier said than done.

I'm interested in this topic but I'm not a parent. I'm an older single woman. My parents are deceased and the only family I have are my 2 sisters. The one sister has been estranged from the family for over 60 yrs. I reached out to her a few times through the years but we were never able to sustain a relationship. Too much water is under the bridge and she has mental issues that I can't deal with, as well. The other sister got married years ago, has kids, lives at a distance, and only invites me for holidays when she wants her kids to experience "extended family". She doesn't seem to want or need one-on-one time with me and has little interest in my life. She is utterly consumed with her kids. Before she got married, we were semi-close and did a lot of activities together. All of a sudden, "poof", she was gone from my life, it seemed like it happened overnight.

I've developed some health issues this year and I would love to have a closer bond with this sister but it's not happening. She lives at a distance, won't do "check in" texts or emails, and only calls me sporadically. She said I don't call her enough so I tried to do that but would only get her voicemail. Her kids are now in college and I really thought she might want to see me now that she has more free time but sadly, she hasn't bothered. I feel like this is a replay of the estrangement with my older sister and it's been weighing on me. I've been very depressed lately about all of the loss in my life. Not just these 2 sisters but my parents, friends who have died, friends who have moved away, friends who haven't gelled...it's hard to be single and not have any close contacts. I have a lot of friends and activities but no one to talk to about these deeper issues. My friends are the type who say, "hang in there!" or just brush me off.