Dealing with a Spouse with a “Mild Cognitive Impairment”

Posting some GOOD NEWS this morning! Had my first therapy appointment and it was very successful. A beginning plan is in place - my husband has set up his own appointment with a recommended therapist too. I let him read my postings on this site and it was an eye opener for him. Sometimes it is so hard to say how you feel to the person you know the best because you know how they are hurting too --- but tools are out there and grabbing on to those tools help work out issues that have kept a good marriage in trouble. Onward.
@kordahl

I posted the same frustrations. Try to conserve your energy—don’t fix things or complicate by trying to involve your husband. It helps me, when I can remember to do it!

Yes! There are other women out there in your situation. I'm one, and here's how I'm dealing with it. I go to the gym 6 days a week, out for coffee with friends, substitute teach during the school year, and do free, fun things in our community.

@svensk i am pretty much in the same boat. I go to the gym, go shopping with friends and enjoy what my husband is able to offer me. We still travel and make the best out of a lousy situation

@svensk You are lucky to get to do these things.

It is hard to deal with. I try to plan activities with my husband and do some things on my own. I struggle to do things on my own because I feel guilty if I leave my husband for too long. He sometimes needs help using the television and his phone and iPad.

This week we went to the US Open tennis matches and did some philanthropic work together. I had a zoom book group meeting, met a friend for lunch and went to my painting studio on my own.

We also leased a new car!

All in all a good week.

How do you know if husband has MCI? My husband broke his hip 3 weeks ago and spent 2 weeks in a rehab facility. The team did several tests on his cognitive abilities. The memory test asks him to repeat 3 -4 items backwards, and then choose 2 out of 4 items that don't fit a category. He did well on the 3 but not on 4 items backwards. He was about 75% on category items.
Afterwards, the team made up charts for him so he can go home and remember dates, appointments, etc, and told me to set up his phone and watch for warnings of falls.
No one told me that he has MCI but obviously, his memory and attentive skills lack in some ways. Is this something that would be categorized as MCI?

@frannee
I've read some posts here that warn of the side effects of anesthesia for folks with dementia. Was he under anesthesia for something recently?

@frannee my husband scored 75% on memory tests but that really didn’t test his everyday abilities. He has lost his mechanical skills, he can’t learn new things and has a hard time following a show on TV. It’s hard to have a conversation because he can’t follow if I change the subject. I feel I’ve lost my partner. Now i take care of him and have to explain many things he used to know how to do. It’s depressing and tiring. He thinks I get crabby for no reason. Now the way I thought we’d spend our old age.

@vgen I totally get what you are saying. This is not how we envisioned our golden years