1. < Caregivers: Mild Cognitive Impairment (MCI) & Dementia
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Where to Start?

Posted by melevanslam @melevanslam, Aug 31 10:15am

My husband is experiencing cognitive issues daily and I find myself doing more and more things for him. I am his brain and his memory. he does not have a diagnosis and his doctor seems to be oblivious to this. Because of hippa I cannot approach his doctor nor can I approach him about this. He is also experiencing mobility and vision issues and is extremely frustrated.
I want him to feel as independent as possible but I need direction on this very sensitive issue.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Caregivers: Mild Cognitive Impairment (MCI) & Dementia Support Group.

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kjc48 | @kjc48 | 6 days ago
In reply to @grandmajoan "@kjc48 Hi. That is exactly the approach I took. We talked to his internist, then saw..." + (show)
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@kjc48 Hi. That is exactly the approach I took. We talked to his internist, then saw a neurologist. He had imaging tests and cognitive tests that confirmed the diagnosis.

My husband still doesn’t want to tell anyone except immediate family that he has MCI. However, he knows when he needs help and asks for lots of help.

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@grandmajoan My husband doesn't want to tell anyone either and I haven't told anyone. It's confusing enough without that. Our immediate family knows as well, although they aren't in the area. Thanks for checking in!
Best, Karla

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maryvc | @maryvc | 6 days ago

I feel for you as you traverse this journey. No one knows where YOU are headed as each path we are taking is taking us places we have never gone before.
All the replies so far are steering toward working with your husband to confirm where you are and what’s next and it’s a lot.
More and more you or someone else will be handling life.
We have an elder law attorney who helped with all the documents needed for me to take over. We updated all of them while my husband was still able to sign them.
Now I have a letter from the doctor stating he is no longer able to sign anything.
I have had to use the POA documents many times.
I just sold our house. He has no idea because now he can’t comprehend anything.
Bless you as you start. I’m getting closer to the end.

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2 replies
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melevanslam | @melevanslam | 5 days ago
In reply to @maryvc "I feel for you as you traverse this journey. No one knows where YOU are headed..." + (show)
Profile picture for maryvc @maryvc

I feel for you as you traverse this journey. No one knows where YOU are headed as each path we are taking is taking us places we have never gone before.
All the replies so far are steering toward working with your husband to confirm where you are and what’s next and it’s a lot.
More and more you or someone else will be handling life.
We have an elder law attorney who helped with all the documents needed for me to take over. We updated all of them while my husband was still able to sign them.
Now I have a letter from the doctor stating he is no longer able to sign anything.
I have had to use the POA documents many times.
I just sold our house. He has no idea because now he can’t comprehend anything.
Bless you as you start. I’m getting closer to the end.

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@maryvc
Bless you for having navigated such an intricate, delicate and unavoidable change to you life. You are an inspiration as so many of you are. It gives me hope and, for now, don't feel as trapped and frozen in place. I have gotten courage to proceed knowing that the only other choice is to do nothing and lose complete control. I'd rather be proactive than reactive.
Thank you so much.

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melevanslam | @melevanslam | 5 days ago
In reply to @grandmajoan "@kjc48 Hi. That is exactly the approach I took. We talked to his internist, then saw..." + (show)
Profile picture for grandmajoan @grandmajoan

@kjc48 Hi. That is exactly the approach I took. We talked to his internist, then saw a neurologist. He had imaging tests and cognitive tests that confirmed the diagnosis.

My husband still doesn’t want to tell anyone except immediate family that he has MCI. However, he knows when he needs help and asks for lots of help.

Jump to this post

@grandmajoan

I am glad you have narrowed your path and have a direction. Encouraging!

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gg1219 | @gg1219 | 5 days ago

Get a power of attorney and healthcare surrogate because it’s only going to get worse.

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trishaanderson | @trishaanderson | 5 days ago
In reply to @maryvc "I feel for you as you traverse this journey. No one knows where YOU are headed..." + (show)
Profile picture for maryvc @maryvc

I feel for you as you traverse this journey. No one knows where YOU are headed as each path we are taking is taking us places we have never gone before.
All the replies so far are steering toward working with your husband to confirm where you are and what’s next and it’s a lot.
More and more you or someone else will be handling life.
We have an elder law attorney who helped with all the documents needed for me to take over. We updated all of them while my husband was still able to sign them.
Now I have a letter from the doctor stating he is no longer able to sign anything.
I have had to use the POA documents many times.
I just sold our house. He has no idea because now he can’t comprehend anything.
Bless you as you start. I’m getting closer to the end.

Jump to this post

@maryvc
How are you and your husband doing? You both have been in my thoughts and prayers. Were they able to get your husband's agitation under control?
Thinking of you,
Trish

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2 replies
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maryvc | @maryvc | 4 days ago
In reply to @trishaanderson "@maryvc How are you and your husband doing? You both have been in my thoughts and..." + (show)
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@maryvc
How are you and your husband doing? You both have been in my thoughts and prayers. Were they able to get your husband's agitation under control?
Thinking of you,
Trish

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@trishaanderson Thank you for asking. After 4 psychiatric hospitalizations he now can’t walk and has declined more. Now in skilled care with hospice. Our goals have changed from assisted living to full care. I moved into the independent living so I’m quite close. Medications are a challenge and he was given Haldol at his third place. That made it all worse but maybe he will be more peaceful. Our goals have now changed to comfort care and peace as much as possible. I grieve everyday but on another note have reached a new level of acceptance.,
How about you?

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4 replies
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judimahoney | @judimahoney | 3 days ago
In reply to @maryvc "@trishaanderson Thank you for asking. After 4 psychiatric hospitalizations he now can’t walk and has declined..." + (show)
Profile picture for maryvc @maryvc

@trishaanderson Thank you for asking. After 4 psychiatric hospitalizations he now can’t walk and has declined more. Now in skilled care with hospice. Our goals have changed from assisted living to full care. I moved into the independent living so I’m quite close. Medications are a challenge and he was given Haldol at his third place. That made it all worse but maybe he will be more peaceful. Our goals have now changed to comfort care and peace as much as possible. I grieve everyday but on another note have reached a new level of acceptance.,
How about you?

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@maryvc
So very, very sorry for what you are both going through. Life can be so hard. It's challenging to see the beauty in life sometimes. Perhaps some of your husband's caregivers are a beautiful thing that help improve his quality of life?
May you find peace in your growing acceptance. 🫂 🌺

REPLY
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trishaanderson | @trishaanderson | 3 days ago
In reply to @maryvc "@trishaanderson Thank you for asking. After 4 psychiatric hospitalizations he now can’t walk and has declined..." + (show)
Profile picture for maryvc @maryvc

@trishaanderson Thank you for asking. After 4 psychiatric hospitalizations he now can’t walk and has declined more. Now in skilled care with hospice. Our goals have changed from assisted living to full care. I moved into the independent living so I’m quite close. Medications are a challenge and he was given Haldol at his third place. That made it all worse but maybe he will be more peaceful. Our goals have now changed to comfort care and peace as much as possible. I grieve everyday but on another note have reached a new level of acceptance.,
How about you?

Jump to this post

@maryvc
Oh Mary,
My heart is breaking for the pain you and your dear husband are going through. When you think this horrid disease can't get any worse, it does.
I work every day to try to keep my husband as calm and happy as possible and try to control his agitation, which can flare up at any time. His medication helps, but it's still an awful way to live, knowing it will get worse, not better.
Thinking of you,
Trish

REPLY
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marilynt | @marilynt | 3 days ago
In reply to @maryvc "@trishaanderson Thank you for asking. After 4 psychiatric hospitalizations he now can’t walk and has declined..." + (show)
Profile picture for maryvc @maryvc

@trishaanderson Thank you for asking. After 4 psychiatric hospitalizations he now can’t walk and has declined more. Now in skilled care with hospice. Our goals have changed from assisted living to full care. I moved into the independent living so I’m quite close. Medications are a challenge and he was given Haldol at his third place. That made it all worse but maybe he will be more peaceful. Our goals have now changed to comfort care and peace as much as possible. I grieve everyday but on another note have reached a new level of acceptance.,
How about you?

Jump to this post

@maryvc Oh, Mary, may God give you strength and peace. Truly you made the correct decision for your husband and for you. I am so sorry that you have reached this point, yet I hope the burden you carry is lighter.

When I read your post last week, I had no words to say. Even though our Mayo Connect is one without meeting each other personally, I feel a strong bond to each person who shares his or her story.🌹

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