Aging from a useful man to something considerably less

@methel when we moved into the house where we currently live, downsizing from two and a half acres to a third acre, I started container gardening. And for a dozen years that was productive, fun, and a little bit encouraging. But our Mississippi Valley hometown is built on a wide collection of hills and our house is on one of those hills. Lugging water off a steep hillside, where my containers are (so they can get some sun) became an issue this year. Same for the orchard I planted 12 years ago. Due to the heat and drought we didn't have any cherries this year, but even though I neglected the apples They are packed right now and I'm not up to collecting them. The spouse and I are at odds as to whether we can keep this place or need to move to something smaller with flatter landscape. It's a continuing argument.

Twday, I have not had any degree of loss comparable to yours, nor did I ever have your degree of competency and success, so I don't have great examples of personal adjustment to offer. Perhaps I can offer a few light generalities.
I'm learning to respect my body's new limits. Halfway to the barn this morning I had to put down the stack of boards and make two trips where I'd expected to make one. I've had to learn to respect someone else's way to do a job. I'm learning teamwork and to just be a helper in situations where I would have been in charge. Actually it can be fun to see that other people can also get things done.
The things I can do are precious. I'm learning to rest when my energy is drooping, not to push through. I'll enjoy the rest and I'll enjoy the work when I return in better form.
I still struggle accept my lesser productivity, and that leads to a new approach to life. Being proud of my productivity was a way to avoid deeper thoughts about life. It gave me something I could measure every day and chart my "progress."
Hmm. You're a designer at heart, and you still have that capacity. Maybe you could design a new curriculum for yourself, discover a new purpose, or even find a way to live happily without purpose. How's that for a challenge?

@twday67 thanks for sharing. I’ve had the same experience with my grandparents and parents who lived well into their 90s. Their last 10 years were miserable. Just miserable.
When a doctor asks if I want to live a long time, I say “No”!

@twday67

Yes, getting the watering right is probably my biggest challenge in containers. Where I live I can rely on the rainfall most years and so I gave up hanging baskets because I couldn’t keep enough water on them. And I do miss a lot about ‘real’ gardening, but this is my life now and I’ve found container gardening more fun (and challenging) than I thought possible 20 years ago.

Best wishes as you go forward.

@binw

I think you have a point. This advice ‘ to just do the right things’ stuff ignores the strong influence of just luck. My advice is that as you get older, things inevitably will go wrong with your body. Try to only have the ones which modern medicine can fix. I am almost 84 and so far have mainly had that kind of luck. That said, I used to be an avid hands on, all over the yard gardener. Now my physical limitations have forced me to become primarily a container gardener. I still find joy in growing green things and this year had cucumbers to give away. A tremendous boost to my self-image.

For all people who are aging (and who isn’t?)- your life is mostly what you make it. And it is a series of challenges sometimes that seem impossible to surmount, but the one thing we can do is face those challenges with as much determination and information as possible. The glass is either half full or half empty. My experience with seniors is that people who complain the loudest have the least reason and those who do not complain have the most reason.

@methel when we moved into the house where we currently live, downsizing from two and a half acres to a third acre, I started container gardening. And for a dozen years that was productive, fun, and a little bit encouraging. But our Mississippi Valley hometown is built on a wide collection of hills and our house is on one of those hills. Lugging water off a steep hillside, where my containers are (so they can get some sun) became an issue this year. Same for the orchard I planted 12 years ago. Due to the heat and drought we didn't have any cherries this year, but even though I neglected the apples They are packed right now and I'm not up to collecting them. The spouse and I are at odds as to whether we can keep this place or need to move to something smaller with flatter landscape. It's a continuing argument.

I would just like to say that I admire all of you men who did so well at taking the responsibility of supporting yourselves and your families. Neither of my two husbands came even close to what you all have done. They basically expected me to support them. I tried, but I was never very good at it. Even though you are going through the trials of "old age", you should all be proud of what you have done for your families and yourselves. Now is the time to slow down, rest and find other interests like some of you have already. But never stop being proud of what you have accomplished in the past.