Aging from a useful man to something considerably less

@mariannewmoon your comment has reminded me of what a lucky man I am. My wife has been saying exactly the same thing for this last year.

Your wife knows what she is talking about. She is a true blessing. Another thing you can be proud of is that you made the right choice in marrying her.

@twday67 My neighbour use a shopvac and vacuums all the detritus, but from a ladder. I don't like moving the ladder, so I get up on the roof. I use a scoop to shove into the three inch thick layer of wet needles and empty it into a bucket. Which has to be emptied regularly because there's a lot of water that settled to the bottom.

I like your idea, but the amount of stuff in my gutters blasted about would just spread it to places where it would be unsightly and probably contribute to moss growth on the roof, which I also have to contend with . I treat that with a light sprinkling of powder laundry soap spread across the roof, close to the apex. The next rain dissolves it and the solution runs down into the needy moss that is parched by then and grateful for a drink of soapy water. It turns brown and drops off inside of a few days.

@binw

I think you have a point. This advice ‘ to just do the right things’ stuff ignores the strong influence of just luck. My advice is that as you get older, things inevitably will go wrong with your body. Try to only have the ones which modern medicine can fix. I am almost 84 and so far have mainly had that kind of luck. That said, I used to be an avid hands on, all over the yard gardener. Now my physical limitations have forced me to become primarily a container gardener. I still find joy in growing green things and this year had cucumbers to give away. A tremendous boost to my self-image.

I'm not going to make believe that I was anywhere near as handy at fixing things as you, but I stopped doing my own car repairs about 15 years ago as they continued to get more complicated. Being able to set points and adjust or rebuild a carburetor isn't as useful as it used to be. There's more home repairs that I can't do than those that I can, but I can honestly say that I don't miss the stress of having to do them. If this is the first time you've had to compromise with declining abilities, then I am jealous. I've been doing that for nearly 30 years. I have adjusted my helpfulness to other things that I can do and I enjoy my leisure time. When I was younger, I would have been very happy to learn from someone with your skills and maybe that is what you need to look into. I'm not sure where to start, but look to your your local senior centers and maybe local scout troops. Passing on our knowledge and skills to a younger generation is about as useful as one can be. You are a living repair manual.

Turning 80 in December (hopefully!). Recently returned from Mayo after a procedure for prostate cancer. A number of other physical problems that, for good or bad, I need to address. Fortunately my mind is good and I still have a pretty good sense of humor!
As a man the hardest thing for me is that there are a lot of physical things I cannot do anymore. I try, behind my wife's back but she either catches me in the "act" or has to help me up when I have fallen down. It's embarrassing and at times, humiliating. But I'm beginning to understand that, I must understand my limits and not be embarrassed or feel like less of a man just because age is taking it's toll. It's hard but I'm working on it! Good luck to all of you who feel the same as I do!!

@methel when we moved into the house where we currently live, downsizing from two and a half acres to a third acre, I started container gardening. And for a dozen years that was productive, fun, and a little bit encouraging. But our Mississippi Valley hometown is built on a wide collection of hills and our house is on one of those hills. Lugging water off a steep hillside, where my containers are (so they can get some sun) became an issue this year. Same for the orchard I planted 12 years ago. Due to the heat and drought we didn't have any cherries this year, but even though I neglected the apples They are packed right now and I'm not up to collecting them. The spouse and I are at odds as to whether we can keep this place or need to move to something smaller with flatter landscape. It's a continuing argument.

We used to have a family friend (over 75) who did all the around the house stuff after my dad’s illness. He volunteered and it was difficult to avoid, since he wanted to help. We were grateful but cringed as he walked on the roof for fear he’d fall. After my dad died, I hadn’t seen him much and then I heard that he had fallen off of his own roof and sustained several fractures requiring surgery! Thank God he survived! He was so vibrant. I hope he can recover well.

@twday67 thanks for sharing. I’ve had the same experience with my grandparents and parents who lived well into their 90s. Their last 10 years were miserable. Just miserable.
When a doctor asks if I want to live a long time, I say “No”!

For all people who are aging (and who isn’t?)- your life is mostly what you make it. And it is a series of challenges sometimes that seem impossible to surmount, but the one thing we can do is face those challenges with as much determination and information as possible. The glass is either half full or half empty. My experience with seniors is that people who complain the loudest have the least reason and those who do not complain have the most reason.