Where to Start?

Call in a social worker and ask the agency that a formal evaluation be done. Also, get a lawyer because chances are excellent that you'll need his/her services when you try to act on behalf of your husband. Also, consider seeing a gerontologist or neurologist, by appointment, with the specified goal of assessment for your husband.

melevanslam, you can talk to his doctor. The doctor is bound my HIPPA and shouldn't give you information. I would suggest that you have him sign a POA at least for healthcare. but probably for everything.

This is all good information that I will eventually use and I thank you for it as well as your quick response.
However, your answer made me realize that the first step is more personal and one that has me frozen in place. I need to find a way to broach the subject with him somehow and get my husband to be aware of and agree to the next step. I don't want to sabotage him or diminish him.

Actually, you can approach his physician. I did so with a very specific letter. He read it and then I went to next appointment with my husband. (They can listen but cannot tell you anything....)My husband did not want me to go saying the doctor wouldn't want me there. I told my husband I would leave if the doctor asked me to do so.
I also used a connection and asked what he thought (he is a psychiatrist) after telling him what my observations were. He got us in to the correct doctor who deals with elderly dementias. It took a bit but through several visits he himself saw what was happening... even some of the verbal abuse which never happened prior to his changes. I did have a POA but just made appointments and said, "I really want you to go. You need to go." My husband was not happy with me but we got it done. My husband still does not think there is anything 'the matter' but there is. He has remained fairly stable. I'm not seeing any big declines yet.
I do notice that he gets extremely tired by about 4 p.m. and extremely grouchy.....after napping and reading all afternoon. I steer clear of him as much as necessary after 4 p.m. I still keep a log of changes I notice and report to doctor if something changes significantly..... Hope this helps.

I found my husband did very well in settings with a doctor, and don’t forget your husband is probably only seeing the doctor for 10-15 minutes with the usual questions, which makes it more difficult for the doctor to notice changes. I’m sorry you are not able to go to appointments or contact the doctor’s office. You will get lots of helpful answers from this group!

My husband and I started at a nearby specifically memory clinic. I found that our primary care doctor was totally useless giving him that short mini mental status exam was ridiculous. Just about anybody can pass that. We go to a place that is a specific memory care clinic and they do exist everywhere. I don't know where you live but I'm sure you can do the research. They will want you to go together because they want your input too. Hopefully he will agree to go. Because he knows there's something wrong even though he says there might not be. Trust me on this. Good luck with everything and keep asking questions and seeking out guidance. By the way the memory care clinic will do an evaluation on him, a thorough examination. And they will come up with a diagnosis.

@melevanslam I feel for you in these beginning stages, and some things would be for further in your journey.

You may wish to talk to your husband and ask him if you can also have your name added to his chart for permission. That way you can share if there are “phone calls” , financial questions or decisions that you could share. Also, you can ask for a referral to a neurologist for some testing from your Doctor so you can get the ball rolling. That way your husband can feel like he is part of the decision making. Many times the staff will understand your needs whereas the Dr. is oblivious.
Keep in touch with us. We have walked this walk!🌼

@marilynt

It is a comfort already to have you all as a resource and a place to turn. Thank you.

With vision, mobility and cognitive issues, you have no other choice but to lovingly tell him, you're concerned, you are worried, and that you want him to be tested, SO, if there is something wrong, you both know and can treat it early. Honesty, I believe goes a long way, with this disease, even if they may not want to hear what you have to say. First, I talked with husband, numerous times, then sent a note in my husband's portal, to his primary care, followed up by a neurologist. The suggestion above is a good one, about a memory care clinic if you have one in your area. The hook I believe is being honest, in a loving way, where you give him examples of what you are seeing and how that makes you feel. You're worried, you love him, and want to know if anything is wrong, and you can't do that, or treat it, if you both don't have the initial conversation. Book an appointment with a neurologist who will give him a comprehensive set of tests. Again, the key here is finding out and treating it sooner than later which could make a difference in slowing its progression down.
Best, Karla

@kjc48 Hi. That is exactly the approach I took. We talked to his internist, then saw a neurologist. He had imaging tests and cognitive tests that confirmed the diagnosis.

My husband still doesn’t want to tell anyone except immediate family that he has MCI. However, he knows when he needs help and asks for lots of help.