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Anyone dealing with a spouse or partner who is an alcoholic?

Posted by mic129 @mic129, Mar 24, 2025

Anyone dealing with a spouse or partner who is an alcoholic?
My husband definitely is and does not admit it. He is what most call a functioning alcoholic. Without going into too much detail, as he has gotten older it has gotten much worse. I’m 63 years old and I just want peace but no way to get out of the situation, financially and emotionally. I know that sounds like an excuse but I’m retired, not by choice and have health issues. How do you deal with this if you are in a similar situation? 🥺

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cog | @cog | 1 day ago

You aren’t a coward. It’s just scary to start over as we get older. I understand not being able to be silent. I have thought about trying to find a job though I know it won’t be easy at my age. (71)
Looking for someplace to live that is affordable…
I do recommend Al-Anon. It (and God) have been my lifeline for the past year. Taking the focus off of him is my only hope other than a miracle. Which I haven’t given up on completely but my self worth is eroding by staying in the same house with his contempt for me.
Thank you for responding to me. Praying for you and your spouse.

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mic129 | @mic129 | 23 hours ago
In reply to @cog "You aren’t a coward. It’s just scary to start over as we get older. I understand..." + (show)
Profile picture for cog @cog

You aren’t a coward. It’s just scary to start over as we get older. I understand not being able to be silent. I have thought about trying to find a job though I know it won’t be easy at my age. (71)
Looking for someplace to live that is affordable…
I do recommend Al-Anon. It (and God) have been my lifeline for the past year. Taking the focus off of him is my only hope other than a miracle. Which I haven’t given up on completely but my self worth is eroding by staying in the same house with his contempt for me.
Thank you for responding to me. Praying for you and your spouse.

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@cog
I am going to start going to Al-anon. I actually went to a few meetings online, I’m 65 it is harder when your our age. 🥺

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mnsojourner | @mnsojourner | 8 hours ago

Alanon Family Groups has helped many. It may seem counter intuitive but even if the one drinking does not seek help the ones affected by alcoholism can get help. They are drinking, I am unhappy, I get help, I find solutions to my unhappiness whether they find help or not.
https://al-anon.org/

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savvyme1 | @savvyme1 | 2 hours ago
In reply to @hopeful33250 "@nigelm Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. I am sorry to hear of your wife's alcoholism and..." + (show)
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@nigelm
Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. I am sorry to hear of your wife's alcoholism and the problems you have encountered. Have you ever attended an Al-Anon group? Here is a link where you can find a nearby group: https://al-anon.org/al-anon-meetings/find-an-al-anon-meeting/. Support is important as you deal with the experiences you have faced.

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@hopeful33250
Al-Anon is a group for the partners, families of the alcoholic.
You do not go for them. You go for you. The truth is you can not control/fix/manage the alcoholic’s drinking. You can only control you, your actions and your peace of mind. It teaches you to keep the focus on you regardless of what the alcoholic is doing.

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sharlyn777 | @sharlyn777 | 52 minutes ago
In reply to @mic129 "I’m a coward,I have done nothing but put up with it and complain about his drinking..." + (show)
Profile picture for mic129 @mic129

I’m a coward,I have done nothing but put up with it and complain about his drinking to him all the time. He is getting fed up with it I know but I just can’t keep silent no matter how hard I try. I finally found some part time work that gets me out of the house 3 nights per week. I’m hoping it turns into something so that I’m at least a little independent. 🥺

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@mic129 @mic129 Man, I’ve been there too.’Let me start by saying You are not a coward. Far from it. Thank you Jesus, I am so glad you had a legit reason to get out and away from that spirit for some time! Breathe deep, many here are praying for you…

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