Dealing with a Spouse with a “Mild Cognitive Impairment”

Things sure can get difficult, and then when we can sit back, and breathe . . . It’s something else. Help us, Lord !

it is hard when my husband was diagnosed with MCI I was relieved that it wasn't dementia, I have a habit of watching him to see what comes next. He does fine but has short term memory. I have decided to take one day at a time and enjoy him at the moment, He is getting over pneumonia W as in the hosp three days ,Now he is weak. He helps around the kitchen at supper time. He also has COPD so he is short of breath. But he acts normal Just count your blessing and pray to God to help you to keep going It may only get worse so don't stress out now Keep your strength for the days to come

we have been married 61 years Have 14 granchildren- 22 great grandchildren - 5 great great grandchildren So we have a lot to live for. Most of them live 150 miles away

Keep on keepin' on!

@inkyblb, welcome. I'm sorry that the scam has left you with financial constraints as you care for your husband. As @kmliste said, such out of character behaviors are often the first signs, but usually only in hindsight. As they say, hindsight is 20/20. These signs often creep up and are dealt with as part of normal life...until it doesn't.

What signs or situation led to your husband getting a diagnosis? How are you doing now?

Hindsight - yes!

At the same time we were seeing signs of memory issues. Also trouble with screens, which he had always been on top of and the person we would go to with questions. Keeping track of appointments was becoming more difficult for him. Unfortunately, it took us a long time to get an appointment with a neurologist, like 7 months. He has started on Donepezil.

I am really overwhelmed. Trying to take one day at a time, but not easy for me. I'm researching a lot, and that is overwhelming too. Hard to not have any idea how this will progress and what that will mean for him, me and our family.

Interesting fact...his brother was diagnosed two years ago. Two brothers, both played football through college. I have to wonder about that.

Thanks for reaching out!

@becsbuddy
Good Morning -
I just joined this group - I've been reading a digging into MCI on my own and have finally scheduled a therapist appointment for myself to figure out how to proceed with loving life with my husband. My question is: how to you approach your spouse about seeing many signs of MCI and that it is a problem in the marriage ????
@kordahl

@kordahl I guess fortunately for me, my wife began complaining of memory lapses long before I could sense anything myself (and I am a retired physician). So I went with her to our primary care physician who also could not detect a problem with the (limited value) MMSE (mini mental status exam). But he referred her to a neuropsychologist who performed formal testing which revealed "MCI". That was 10 years ago. Her progression has been slow but she seems to have lost the awareness that she has significant short term memory loss. She knows "something" is wrong and that it will "only get worse", but isn't very insightful otherwise.

If your husband is unaware of any cognitive impairment and is unwilling to undergo testing, that in itself is telling. A private conversation (or message) with his physician might be useful.

@beverlyhaynes55 Hi Beverly - I am new to this group but the stories sound so like me and my husband! Your post especially resonated with me! I am almost 72 and still working full time as an accountant. All my younger siblings are retired, travel and vacation, etc. I am very jealous sometimes. But working is the one thing that keeps me sane. My husband does not have an "official" diagnosis but his forgetfulness, confusion, and mood swings certainly sound like a cognitive disorder beyond just normal aging. My husband has been medically retired for over 20 years, mostly due to mobility issues. He has had a hip and a knee replaced in the last 18 months, which has helped his mobility, but he has other health issues that are a hinderance to traveling. His mental decline is something I have only noticed in the past couple of years, but it is definitely getting worse. I have to admit to feeling like "Cinderella" sometimes, always waiting on him. It's not so bad when he is in a happy mood, but if something sets him off to being onery it is almost unbearable. I am relieved to know I am not alone in this situation.

@kordahl
Perhaps your husband is unable to process his issues because he's cognitively impaired. Some folks have no awareness that they have challenges, it's called anosognosia (you can do a search on this site for more info).
Do you want to start dating and documenting what behaviors are off his normal? That way you can share with medical professionals when they asked what's up and you have 15 minutes, tops.
All the best to you. 🌺