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burnout..... over and over again. 25 years of marriage and still in

Posted by lonelyfirefighter @lonelyfirefighter, Mar 10, 2025

Been a caregiver since December 25, 2018. Wife shot herself and lost use of left side. She is there 95% of the time. This past Wednesday while driving my wife became upset. She tired to twist my ear off. I decided then the police would be contacted.. Our ride was a hour long so when I got back into our county I stopped by the Sheriffs Office. I went inside and explained what was going on and second officer came in the office and stated some lady was in the parking lot yelling. Yep, that's my wife.
Long story short they talked to her and I did not press charges but it went on record. The sergeant was tempted to lock her up just from what he witness with my ear bleeding. We both left together any other problems someone will go to jail.
This is the fourth time she has put her hands on me, black eye, busted lip, scratches and a good old ear twisting. When is enough?
Burnout- three days in my bedroom alone, can't sleep, eat, think.
I'm lost in a nightmare.......

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lovestodance | @lovestodance | Aug 26 9:10am
In reply to @sillyblone "Be careful! I hear that you want to take care of her and that is noble...." + (show)
Profile picture for sillyblone @sillyblone

Be careful! I hear that you want to take care of her and that is noble. But, she is assaulting you. A better word would be spousal abuse. It sounds like she needs alot of help. Hospitalazation and possibly some counseling if she refuses meds. So sorry. No one deserves this. Hugs and prayers.

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@sillyblone
I would so much like to see a thread about spousal abuse on Mayo Clinic Connect. How can we at Mayo Clinic Connect Make That Happen

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Mentor
Becky, Volunteer Mentor | @becsbuddy | Aug 26 8:51pm
In reply to @lonelyfirefighter "A lot has happened since my last post. On May 29, I found time to have..." + (show)
Profile picture for lonelyfirefighter @lonelyfirefighter

A lot has happened since my last post. On May 29, I found time to have a heart attack. Doctor said it was a widower makers, 70/80 precent blockage. Simple fix was two stents and 3 days rest in the hospital being waited on. My PDSD kicked in with being restricted by wires in IV lines so they let me go home.
Things are the same here, Wife’s caseworker came by checking on us and offered any help we asked. Following up with doctors and test. Been wearing a heart monitor from 2 weeks. Keep having to change my contacts due to working on the yard. Now I have an open sore about the size of a quarter from pulling my skin off.🤣. I’m still here helping her and it’s because on May 29 I woke up knowing I was having the big one, been taking BP while I waited for an appointment in August 2025.
Being a Fire captain and EMT I had a BP of 197/120 and pulse had dropped from 54 to 42 I figured my time was running out. When my wife saw me she wanted to call 911. But I said I’m going to lay down knowing it would be it for me.
Laying there knowing all my pain will be gone, not having to watch and feel my old body wasting away. And I know I did way best.
GOD spoke to me! Get your ASS up and get to the hospital now. I convinced my wife I was ok so she’ll let me drive. After 1 hour and 15 minutes we arrived at the hospital. It was busy…. Checked in and I let them know I was having a heart attack. We sat 20 minutes more in the waiting room. With-in the a hour the doctor had put in the two stents in and back in my room.
I feel positive and still love my wife. Sure wish she felt the same all the time.
Going to do my best but knowing I choosed being here careing for my wife is different now. I picked hanging around longer and work a little harder figuring what comes next.
Thanks for listening to me carrying on. We’ll be ok and bless everyone out there.
God is always there waiting to listen to us. ❤️🙏👍🦋🌈☮️

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@lonelyfirefighter I’m just wondering how you are doing. Did you fully recover from the heart attack? And how is your wife doing and where is she?

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sillyblone | @sillyblone | Aug 26 8:54pm
In reply to @lonelyfirefighter "A lot has happened since my last post. On May 29, I found time to have..." + (show)
Profile picture for lonelyfirefighter @lonelyfirefighter

A lot has happened since my last post. On May 29, I found time to have a heart attack. Doctor said it was a widower makers, 70/80 precent blockage. Simple fix was two stents and 3 days rest in the hospital being waited on. My PDSD kicked in with being restricted by wires in IV lines so they let me go home.
Things are the same here, Wife’s caseworker came by checking on us and offered any help we asked. Following up with doctors and test. Been wearing a heart monitor from 2 weeks. Keep having to change my contacts due to working on the yard. Now I have an open sore about the size of a quarter from pulling my skin off.🤣. I’m still here helping her and it’s because on May 29 I woke up knowing I was having the big one, been taking BP while I waited for an appointment in August 2025.
Being a Fire captain and EMT I had a BP of 197/120 and pulse had dropped from 54 to 42 I figured my time was running out. When my wife saw me she wanted to call 911. But I said I’m going to lay down knowing it would be it for me.
Laying there knowing all my pain will be gone, not having to watch and feel my old body wasting away. And I know I did way best.
GOD spoke to me! Get your ASS up and get to the hospital now. I convinced my wife I was ok so she’ll let me drive. After 1 hour and 15 minutes we arrived at the hospital. It was busy…. Checked in and I let them know I was having a heart attack. We sat 20 minutes more in the waiting room. With-in the a hour the doctor had put in the two stents in and back in my room.
I feel positive and still love my wife. Sure wish she felt the same all the time.
Going to do my best but knowing I choosed being here careing for my wife is different now. I picked hanging around longer and work a little harder figuring what comes next.
Thanks for listening to me carrying on. We’ll be ok and bless everyone out there.
God is always there waiting to listen to us. ❤️🙏👍🦋🌈☮️

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@lonelyfirefighter You certainly had a real emergency! Firefighters tend to help everyone else and forget about themselves! You see that in the medical profession with Physicians and Nurses! Ancillary staff as well! I think you might have lost your life driving yourself to get help! You really took a chance! It is good news that the widow maker did not win! Count your blessings and take care! You are still in the healing phase! My spouse tried many times to get the fireman to take him to his bed! I was able to convince him to get the help he needed! He would have not lived with his many conditions that followed after his diagnosis of Parkinson’s! He practically lived in the hospital this past year! Take care and let your physician and Nurses take care of you! My spouse would always say I always have appreciated that his wife cared and was his most precious person! Good luck and keep all of us up to date on your progress!

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