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burnout..... over and over again. 25 years of marriage and still in
Been a caregiver since December 25, 2018. Wife shot herself and lost use of left side. She is there 95% of the time. This past Wednesday while driving my wife became upset. She tired to twist my ear off. I decided then the police would be contacted.. Our ride was a hour long so when I got back into our county I stopped by the Sheriffs Office. I went inside and explained what was going on and second officer came in the office and stated some lady was in the parking lot yelling. Yep, that's my wife.
Long story short they talked to her and I did not press charges but it went on record. The sergeant was tempted to lock her up just from what he witness with my ear bleeding. We both left together any other problems someone will go to jail.
This is the fourth time she has put her hands on me, black eye, busted lip, scratches and a good old ear twisting. When is enough?
Burnout- three days in my bedroom alone, can't sleep, eat, think.
I'm lost in a nightmare.......
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Welcome to Mayo Clinic. My heartfelt sympathy goes to you for all that you have endured. What have you done to get help from the hospital? Maybe they have some ideas or placement options for your wife.
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3 ReactionsWe have a case worker and have discussed some issues. Problem is the case worker knows that my wife gets the best care being with me. I agree with her. See I love my wife not for what she has become but for those happy times.
I touture myself every day, no friends, the kids don't come around due to the quick mood changes.
I have decided that the next time is it.
I have Green Warranted twice, third time she convince the all women staff she was ok , just dealing with a jerk husband.
I got recording of the out-breaks, video and pictures of the black eye, busted lip etc. Her kids don't want her or offer to help, my kids are afraid to come down. Next time she'll be the deciding factor of her one out-come.
I'm lost in a nightmare......
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4 ReactionsWell. I think you have reached an end point. She is not safe due to her medical issues
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4 ReactionsSounds like you need professional help! Your health insurance should cover the therapy or at least refer you to some professional help. Next outburst you may not be so lucky for just a busted lip/black eye!
Best of luck!!
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3 Reactions@lonleyfirefighter. You’re having a very tough time of it, aren’t you? What you need to do first is to plan for the next time she behaves like this. Do you have a reservation at a facility? Does it have a wait list? How would you get her there? Lots to think about! Do you have anyone at all, who can help you figure this out-a chaplain, may be?
Will you stay in touch and let the members help you?
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4 ReactionsIs there some type of medicine she can take to even out her moods? It sounds like a very difficult situation for you and your family.
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3 ReactionsTo everyones who replied, Thanks
My wife is mentally there most of the time, in those times she feels like she doesn't need help, and against being doped up to function. Our family doctor knows some of what's going on, so does her health case-manager. She knows a lot more and have become friends and my wife is comfortable talking to her.
Her two daughters are too busy for their mom, One is a doctor the other in upper management in a worldwide company. My two daughters are cautious when coming around us with the grandkids and my son thinks she is crazy!
Hospital are no help, she'll talk her way out. Last time I called the sheriff to green warrant her she was released from the hospital before I had a chance to complete the paperwork.
I have explained I want a divorce, I'm her legal guardian so she needs to find someone to replace me. I get a pension from the Fire Department and S/S. All our savings are gone and my wife gets S/S only. Starting over is not a option for either of us.
I'll just keep working at it and the next time she will be arrested and I'll get her help thru the courts. She understand my stance now.
Still looking for that book.... Caregiving for Dummies 101
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