Need to vent over scams and taking advantage of the vulnerable

@gloaming
Separating a person with dementia from bank accounts and other sources of funds should be done as soon as appropriate. Its the same as not letting a person with dementia cook when they forget to turn off stoves etc. Safety must be top concern- that means protecting a person physically and from financial abuse/exploitation.

Something exactly as you described also happened to me. It was a video supposedly by Sanjay Gupta the renowned neurosurgeon who is I believe CNN's medical spoke person. I listened and watched about a product that was natural, a halted dementia etc. Fortunately toward the end I realized what was happening. It was definitely a scam because I looked it up and it said on the internet as much. I totally agree with you, we have to be so Vigilant and not listen to everything because we are wanting things to get better. Good thing you caught it in time!

@dianaml yes he went through a phase where he listed to every ad on facebook and would bring the same videos each day wanting to try it, for awhile I was going into his page and blocking things each day.

Maybe print and keep by phone and computer......
What can you say when something feels off?
You don’t need to explain, argue or keep the conversation going. A simple response is enough.

For an unexpected money request:
“I don’t make financial decisions from unexpected calls or messages. I’m going to verify this directly.”

For a family emergency message:
“I need the family code word before we go any further.”

For a bank or account alert:
“I’ll call the institution directly using the number I already have.”

@colleenyoung

Yes indeed they are! Before MCI was ever in my wheelhouse I had attended a seminar by a member of our church to our women’s group. He was the manager of a bank. He said to us something that has resonated with me. If you can check Facebook everyday, check your bank accounts in the same way. Recently we have notified the bank and disputed charges. They’ve issued new cards. One charge was made at 1 a.m. in Georgia (not where we live and nothing we’d buy and another was made to some pet place. We don’t have any pets….also made in the wee hours when we are asleep.
Also when I talked with my husband's dr about him being scammed he also said, “oh it happens to those without cognitive issues they are SO clever. " As @gloaming said so thoughtfully, we also need to give our loved ones dignity. I see this as vigilance—constant vigilance. I realize all our loved ones are in different places so a one size does not fit all does not always work.
In the last couple days we’ve both noticed some mistakes so we get on top of it right away. I keep that in mind as I watch him possibly progressing. I ask him to always call my attention to any issues/mistakes I might have made. So for now I am happy to say we are working as a team for as long as we can. I realize for some that just is not possible.

I hope my reply comes across in support and in love.

While I don’t have problems with my husband re: this sort of thing because he’s never learned to use the internet and doesn’t answer the phone, I’ve known way too many people who have fallen for scams. Some of them surprised me, so whether it’s an early sign of a problem with some or just naïveté, I don’t know. But it makes me so angry.

@colleenyoung We need to protect our loved ones from all dangers, physical, emotional and financial. Take away credit card access. Cancel credit cards and debit cards, open new ones in your name only. Change passwords and log in information of all banking, retirement, healthcare, social security and investment accounts. Remove check book access. Open a limited access credit card with a hundred or so dollars in both names and give it to your loved one as a new credit card. Hide any written down log in information. If needed, change the mail to a post office box. That way the scammers may be able to get into his personal data but not the accounts. The only thing they really want is to steal money.

New scams that are directed at patients - be aware of "MyChart" scams! I've received two so far - did not reply. They are offering gifts of a "Medical Kit", whatever that is.
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@colleenyoung

I am new to this Connect and thank you for it. I hope I post this in the right place. My husband was diagnosed with aphasia and now showing signs of Alzheimer's. A month ago without telling he fell victim to a scam with an AI film of Bill Gates touting a product called Memocept. He spent $300 on a box of these pills. There is a real product called Memocept but the ingredients on his order do not match. Again unbeknownst to me he took these pills for a month. How do I keep him from spending money like this. Yes, of course, I have taken away his credit card, but I am still very worried about this. Thank you. PS I find this site difficult to use and can't find out how to submit this.

Yes, I restricted my husband's access to any funds and his credit card (in my name) has a monthly limit so if he gets scammed it will not be for too much. I can up the credit limit as needed if for some reason his expenses are higher than expected with a simple phone call. As his dementia progressed I have also limited the calls he can receive on his cell phone by restricting to his contacts only. Any other calls do not ring. That has greatly reduced my anxiety on worrying about scams.