Forced menopause has changed me can anyone relate?

Hello, @cacaro88, and welcome. Thank you for sharing your story.
You've certainly been through a lot. Cancer treatment, taking an aromatase inhibitor, menopause ... that's a lot to navigate all at once.

You might be interested in this conversation, where members share their experiences with taking an aromatase inhibitor and how it affected their emotions:
- https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/anastrazole-and-anxiety/

While my experience is different, I can relate to being thrust into menopause. I entered surgical menopause last year, and it's been a roller coaster (to say the least). And even more frustrating is that there isn't a defined path forward. No one experiences perimenopause and menopause the same way and doctors have differing opinions on how to treat symptoms, so sometimes it feels like I'm just throwing stuff at the wall to see what sticks!

Nature is such a good, grounding force! And there's a growing body of research showing that spending time outdoors can have a positive effect on mental health. It's called biophilia -- here's a really interesting little article on it: https://newsnetwork.mayoclinic.org/discussion/mayo-clinic-minute-prescribing-nature-for-mental-physical-health/

I'm wondering, besides being outdoors, have you found anything else, even something small, that helps you feel a little more like yourself?

Although I am not in the same situation having to deal with cancer, I can really relate to all of the feelings you are having and needing to talk to others who might be experiencing the same things. And that's why I joined this site, because I feel like nobody can really understand how this feels, aside from other women who have already or are currently experiencing menopause. I am new to menopause, only having accepted the fact that it is happening over the last two years (though I can now look back and know it started way before that). Nobody ever talked to me about this or even attempted to prepare me for the the flurry of emotions this would cause in me. I also don't understand how women get through this. My crying also comes out of nowhere. I, too, have always been a strong, resilient woman, very independent, handling all of life's challenges with a smile on my face. Once I hit age 50, everything in my body started falling apart, every doctor appointment for the last 2.5 years has been a new diagnosis, a new syndrome, a new disorder, a new PROBLEM with ME. Thus, like you, I feel like I’m falling apart, and the last thing I want is to do is take another medication to manage the side effects of the medications I'm already taking. I also feel like I am sort of useless now with all these issues. And like you, I also barely recognize myself now, and you're right, it's very frightening. I feel like I'm in an out of body experience, looking at myself from 3 feet away, asking over and over who is this? What is happening to me? I didn't ask for this, I' don't want this, and please take it back. But the reality is, there is no taking it back, I don't have a choice, I just have to deal with it. My partner, on the other hand, he does have a choice. This is wreaking havoc on my long term relationship due to the fact that my libido 100% disappeared. We are in couples therapy, and I am also in personal therapy, trying to get myself to a better place with this. My therapist suggested this forum, and now I, too, am reaching out because I need to know I'm not the only one. I also want to know from others, does it get it better with time? What helped you cope (other than psych meds - don't want those)?

@kstew12974
You've completely covered every single thing I went thru for maybe 20 yrs. I find it absolutely baffling (& agitating) that drs seldom, if ever, say ANYTHING to their female patients about the myriad of menopausal symptoms. We are in the 21st century; there is no excuse. NO ONE ever talked to me about menopause (or post-menopause), not my mother, not drs or nurses, wasn't even anything taught in classes, even in college. Its a huge WHY.

I was put into surgical menopause last fall due to endometriosis and adenomyosis. I had been on low dose hrt prior to surgery and was put on a higher dose after surgery but it wasn't enough. My doc had to change up the way I received systemic estrogen, stop vaginal dhea which was irritating my skin and switch to Imvexxy and vagifem. Once my numbers improved, the yeast infections stopped. It took about eight months for me to reach some semblance of normal.

Definitely since my hysterectomy my personality has changed into a less focused, uninterested, often depressed, easily exasperated, less nurturing woman. So hrt or not, maybe we feel similar. I still feel a bit artifical. By artificial, I mean someone who feels sexless and has no sex drive. I do sometimes have a sex drive on hrt but I need the appropriate reading or visual material to stimulate interest.

I don't know how you get through it without hrt except to find a naturopath who might be able to help and find an online or in-person support group.

I'm doing hrt, but haven't been on long enough to see any results yet. Hurry up and wait is where I'm at.

@kstew12974

Perhaps bhrt/hrt including testosterone.
I wanted my libido back and adding the testosterone was the answer. Another thing that women are not told often is that not only do we have estrogen receptors but we also have testosterone receptors.
One part of good health for women is having our sexual health assessed and treated

@kstew12974 During my second yeast infection, my gynecologist doubled my systemic estrogen to hurry up my progress and get me from 50 to 100 Estradiol. Well, after three months it got me much higher so I decreased my application a bit and got myself to a livable number.

@gravity3 That's very true. I use a compounded testosterone cream no more than twice weekly externally. I'm careful now to wash my hands afterwards. I don't know if it's the testosterone or my Estradiol being a bit higher than my prescriber ideal but I've had dark hairs come in above my lip. I know some women have success with the pellet but I'm afraid that the dose would be too high.

A neighbor had success with a naturopath. I recall her buying supplements like Estrovera by Metagenics, Ashwagandha and other multi blends of herbs and vitamins. Have you had your vitamin D checked? I was diagnosed with osteoporosis at 49 so I added in extra D+K along with regular citracal, magnesium glycinate and occasionally potassium citrate. Are you permitted to take Progesterone? If so, it could really help your mind.

@blueskies1530

I can relate. I switched back to the patch and testosterone cream. Not quite as much lip hair but my libido is still active but not as intense. I switched back to the patch because I wanted to cut back on doctor visits not because of the hair.