Does anyone feel old and useless with age?

Posted by sally12345 @sally12345, Sep 13, 2023

Hi, I'm almost 64.. I'm feeling old and useless. My strength isn't good anymore. Like it used to be mainly side effects of meds. My health is poor with cvsd. Osteoporosis, poor circulation, hearing , eyesight, you name it's going. I always took care of myself. Now I've gotten older and everything's wrong, my grandkids don't a want me around and they are little still. No friends to talk with or do things with. Why is it we spend our lifetime taking care of family. Loving friends to end up , old and tired. Useless.

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Profile picture for sillyblone @sillyblone

@mimigirl63 There is a group of Seniors Helping Seniors! It may not be everywhere! But look into it and see what it offers! I am not dead yet and nothing will take my dignity! If it does sound like you would fit definitely try it out! Doing for others helps us to forget ourselves and remember we are worthy, able and matter! By, the way I lost the love of my life a couple months ago! I am so broken hearted and am having to do more things then when I was a caregiver! Overwhelming, but I have a loving family, church and I still have a brain that can think and make decisions! It saddens me that we are not valued by others at times ! But, I tell myself I am worthy and still have a brain ! It is hurtful and rude.. but I am an adult and I can think and work circles around some of these rude arrogant younger or same age people!! Yes, we ache sometimes.. but believe me you and myself are just important and have abilities that some do not! Never give up, til you can’t! Love for others is missing for others at times! Hold your head high and remember “ I’m here and I can make it happen through strength and God”!!

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Thank you for your kind thoughtful message. I believe I am going to to start volunteering at the shelter house or prison. I miss working.

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Profile picture for cathyphillips @cathyphillips

I’m 66 and sometimes, in conversation, my 36yr old son routinely says to me “look at you. You’re an old lady. What do you know? You talk too much, your so negative, etc”.
You pour your heart and soul and everything you have into them - your life, and here you are. It’s so sad.

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@cathyphillips it is very sad and they will be there too someday.

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Profile picture for cathyphillips @cathyphillips

I’m 66 and sometimes, in conversation, my 36yr old son routinely says to me “look at you. You’re an old lady. What do you know? You talk too much, your so negative, etc”.
You pour your heart and soul and everything you have into them - your life, and here you are. It’s so sad.

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@cathyphillips

It makes me very sad that he treats you with such distain and disrespect.
I hope that you have ways to set boundaries on how you will and won't be treated and that he understands the consequences if he does not respect your boundaries.

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Profile picture for sillyblone @sillyblone

@mimigirl63 There is a group of Seniors Helping Seniors! It may not be everywhere! But look into it and see what it offers! I am not dead yet and nothing will take my dignity! If it does sound like you would fit definitely try it out! Doing for others helps us to forget ourselves and remember we are worthy, able and matter! By, the way I lost the love of my life a couple months ago! I am so broken hearted and am having to do more things then when I was a caregiver! Overwhelming, but I have a loving family, church and I still have a brain that can think and make decisions! It saddens me that we are not valued by others at times ! But, I tell myself I am worthy and still have a brain ! It is hurtful and rude.. but I am an adult and I can think and work circles around some of these rude arrogant younger or same age people!! Yes, we ache sometimes.. but believe me you and myself are just important and have abilities that some do not! Never give up, til you can’t! Love for others is missing for others at times! Hold your head high and remember “ I’m here and I can make it happen through strength and God”!!

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@sillyblone
This reminds me of something...I'm 73. My grandfather came to this country from the UK when he was 20, married and raised a family. He had several brothers and sisters back in London. I remember as a kid his sister coming over to visit a couple of times and she always spoke of her volunteer work with the elderly. She was in her late 70's at the time and it was probably 1965 or so. It seemed funny to hear at the time but she was spry, active and sharp as a tack.

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Profile picture for gravity3 @gravity3

@cathyphillips

It makes me very sad that he treats you with such distain and disrespect.
I hope that you have ways to set boundaries on how you will and won't be treated and that he understands the consequences if he does not respect your boundaries.

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@gravity3 I agree that I need to set boundaries. It’s hard when all you want to do is love them unconditionally. I can set boundaries with money and my will😜

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Profile picture for mimigirl63 @mimigirl63

@cathyphillips it is very sad and they will be there too someday.

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@mimigirl63 Yes they will and they will remember when I’m gone!

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I hope you all realize that the comments here are very helpful.

One defense against feeling useless is to contribute on this site. There are many people who need a word of encouragement, insight, or support. In fact, doesn't everybody? I know I do.

How can you feel useless when you're making such useful contributions to the well-being of others?

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Thank you. We aren’t useless. We have wisdom. We’re in a throw away society. Once you lose your looks and status at a position, it’s time to replace you with something shiny and new.
We are of great value to our Heavenly Father and the more we act as if , the more it will be.
Love and Blessings to all,
Mary

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