Does anyone feel old and useless with age?

I feel as if there is no hope. Yes, for short periods I'm coping or very occasionally, optimistic. These become less and less frequent and the 'drop' is vile. So desolate.

@cryingunderwater Can you tell us a little about what challenges you are facing that cause these feelings of hopelessness? Maybe we can "connect" you with others in a similar situation.

Have you talked to your care team about these feelings?

@momma2lucy I would not call you cynical; you have your priorities straight and boundaries established.

@loris0411 quit this babysitting job, set boundaries and make yourself a priority.

Where do you live? Is it possible for you to find some sort of subsidized housing and move out of your daughter’s basement and reclaim your independence? Don’t allow anyone to gaslight you into thinking just because you are on disability you do not have the ability to make a life of your own despite your circumstances.

@lylii if you still get no response after what @gravity suggests, just remove yourself from the family chat (you simply go into the chat settings and remove your name), and find other discussion threads where you can feel heard (e.g., Mayo Connect), groups on various subjects on social media. You could also find in person social groups (e.g. at your local library), or sign up as a volunteer at an agency.

I've outlived all of my best friends and I'm only 73. I'm not outgoing, so I don't make new friends very easily. Most of my casual friends were from work. My job was eliminated three years after my company was acquired by a bigger one. I was a contract worker for nearly two years until the covid lockdown when all the contract workers were let go. I have AFib, PVCs and PACs. My wife is considerably younger, still working and still active. I'm the oldest living member of the family and I live nearly an hour away from my younger sister, who's still working and keeps busy with her children and grandchildren. I don't function well in the heat and humidity. I've been dealing with various health issues for the past year (covid, vertigo, cervical spine issues, etc.) and then I was diagnosed with PMR in March, which probably started last October but was initially attributed to my cervical spine issues. In May I was diagnosed with SMM. My body has had to adjust to high dose prednisone for the PMR and then a fast taper off prednisone because of the SMM. I'm fatigued all the time and now in pain from the PMR. I can't work outside for more than 30-45 minutes at a time in the heat and humidity. My wife has taken over most of the outdoor chores. I lose my breath walking up the stairs. We live on a busy county road in NJ so there's no real neighborhood for walking or interacting with neighbors. I have arthritic knees, so it's difficult to walk the hard floors of the few remaining malls. I don't enjoy reading like I used to because my eyes get tired. I'm really starting to feel useless and unmotivated, and I sound like a grumpy and tired old man, even to me.

This has probably been said before, but ...

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING is to try to not focus on oneself.

Force yourself to get out & meet people. Despite being a loner for much of my life, & not really knowing my neighbors, I decided that when I moved to a new state at 78, I was not going to wait for my neighbors to introduce themselves. I invited some of them to a dinner at my place. Nothing fancy; just a good opportunity to know people. It turns out that some of my new neighbors were kinda like me, but we established friendships.

You need to know your neighbors. If nothing else, for help in an emergency (both ways).

I also got involved in some volunteering activities.

If you sit at home, fairly soon every day seems like the last one, & that can get depressing.

I wish there was a Mayo Clinic Connect convention somewhere so we could all meet up. There could be seminars for each of the different communities and for the general community. Doctors, researchers, nutritionists and other healthcare providers could reach a larger audience of the individuals who have the most skin in the game.

@ I was 66 when my husband passed, I was able to drive myself to Church. I had a circle of ladies I met with to do some volunteer for special needs children do you feel you are not getting family support if they are near by
I felt as long as I was able, doing helpful things for someone else kept me from feeling lonely.
cryingunderwater