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Doesn’t anyone else feel …… ?

Posted by sunnygardens @sunnygardens, Jun 25 6:27pm

Everyone seems so calm and reasonable on here. Am I the only one who gets fed up and irritable?
This evening two things are driving me nuts: one is the constant contrariness, increased from his normal contrariness. (My daughter once said he’s the most contrary person she’s ever met. That was three years ago. Before these unexplained symptoms began.) The other irritation (aaarrrghh!!!) is the nearly always saying “Oh, I know.” When clearly, until it was explained, he did NOT know. (This too is an increase from his normal level of knowing everything.)
It truly seems that all the incompatible characteristics are greatly exaggerated now.
As is my level of irritation, which certainly does not help.

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n82821 | @n82821 | 10 hours ago
In reply to @sunnygardens "@n82821 “Think about it for a MINUTE”? I think about it all the time! Maybe it’sa..." + (show)
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@n82821 “Think about it for a MINUTE”? I think about it all the time!
Maybe it’sa disease and maybe it isn’t. No one can even guess because my friend is completely oblivious of any of the behaviourisms. Or so it seems.
As far as giving the diseases a nickname, I have no desire to live with “Al”.
I’m glad this trick works to make your life easier.
I’m not allowed to treat him like he’s “old”, or like he’s a patient. But I can’t treat him as the friend I thought he was because he isn’t that person, whether he’s ill or I was just deluded.
Long and boring story.
Bottom line is, although we’re still friends, I’m continually compromising, dressing up more patience, walking off frustration, missing certain aspects of life while my friend blithely continues about his meet way.
I looked after my dad, my kids, my stepdad who is still alive, I deal with my untreated bipolar mother who is now developing age-related memory problems (or is it dementia symptoms? We’ll never know because “there’s nothing wrong” with her.) Got a bipolar brother with physical health restrictions who medicates with cannabis. All these people are 3500 miles away.
Yes, I’m irritated.
I watched a short documentary about a care home in Denmark, unique in its format. Yes, the patients are receiving fabulous care. But! There were often two or three caregivers helping one patient. How the staff is paid I can’t imagine.
Some days it just comes to the front of my mind that I have too many responsibilities gradually becoming more and more.
There’s ONE person I don’t want to be a caregiver for, but I feel guilty even about that.

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@sunnygardens
Wow! You are a Wonder Women! You certainly have a lot in your plate. I can’t imagine handling the load you are carrying! I’m sorry for my simplistic response. I thought you were only dealing with one person, my bad! I just have my wife, the smartest person I’ve ever known, to deal with. I find that quite a large task, as she has dementia. They have called this the long good bye. I wish you good luck and health!
Tom

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sunnygardens | @sunnygardens | 9 hours ago
In reply to @n82821 "@sunnygardens Wow! You are a Wonder Women! You certainly have a lot in your plate. I..." + (show)
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@sunnygardens
Wow! You are a Wonder Women! You certainly have a lot in your plate. I can’t imagine handling the load you are carrying! I’m sorry for my simplistic response. I thought you were only dealing with one person, my bad! I just have my wife, the smartest person I’ve ever known, to deal with. I find that quite a large task, as she has dementia. They have called this the long good bye. I wish you good luck and health!
Tom

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@n82821 thanks Tom. I know I kind of blew a gasket there. I appreciate your understanding. Best of luck to you and your wife.
My friend is also very intelligent and even though he hasn’t had any sort of doctor’s opinion about this, I find his conversation increasingly difficult to follow as his language changes and his thoughts seem to jump around. Often the ideas are unconnected. It’s so difficult to respond correctly and then he gets irritated if I give neutral responses. So I feel for ya, missing that with your wife.
Best wishes to you,
Sunny
🌻

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