Anyone dealing with a spouse or partner who is an alcoholic?

Posted by mic129 @mic129, Mar 24, 2025

Anyone dealing with a spouse or partner who is an alcoholic?
My husband definitely is and does not admit it. He is what most call a functioning alcoholic. Without going into too much detail, as he has gotten older it has gotten much worse. I’m 63 years old and I just want peace but no way to get out of the situation, financially and emotionally. I know that sounds like an excuse but I’m retired, not by choice and have health issues. How do you deal with this if you are in a similar situation? 🥺

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nigelm | @nigelm | Jun 28 9:48pm

In reply to @ccelvira "@stsopoci It's great to hear that a couple has survived and overcome their addiction. My husband..." + (show)

@ccelvira I am dealing with a wife who gets drunk 2 to 7 days a week. Blind rotten staggering drunk. She hides her drinks and starts early every day. I do not drink. Ever. We are now separated. Her drinking landed me in jail with a no contact for a year. I doubt my wife will make it through as she has no support other than other addicted people.

Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Jun 29 4:43am

In reply to @margaretbrown3 "I am" + (show)

Hello @margaretbrown3 and welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. I am glad that you found this online forum. Share, as you are comfortable, a little about yourself.

Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Jun 29 4:47am

In reply to @willow5 "Al-Anon Family Groups, hope for familes of alchoholics. Go to six different meetings before deciding if..." + (show)

@willow5

I appreciate you mentioning Al-Anon. This organization is a great support for those living with alcoholism. If you would like to find a meeting in your area, here is the link: https://al-anon.org/al-anon-meetings/find-an-al-anon-meeting/

Your suggestion to attend six different meetings is a good idea. The dynamics of each group can be different.

Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Jun 29 4:52am

In reply to @nigelm "@ccelvira I am dealing with a wife who gets drunk 2 to 7 days a week...." + (show)

@nigelm
Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. I am sorry to hear of your wife's alcoholism and the problems you have encountered. Have you ever attended an Al-Anon group? Here is a link where you can find a nearby group: https://al-anon.org/al-anon-meetings/find-an-al-anon-meeting/. Support is important as you deal with the experiences you have faced.

danyysienna111 | @danyysienna111 | Jun 29 3:10pm

In reply to @nigelm "@ccelvira I am dealing with a wife who gets drunk 2 to 7 days a week...." + (show)

@nigelm Why did her drinking land you in jail?

ezjersey719 | @ezjersey719 | Jun 30 6:20am

In your situation, finding a support group would be helpful. AlAnon is the most common choice, but some therapists offer private groups that are facilitated by a professional (for a fee, of course). If you’re going to stay, it’s essential that you take care of yourself. I’m sure you’ve learned that you cannot change your spouse. He may come around on his own or not. In the meantime, do everything you can to protect your health and take care of your emotional well being.

ezjersey719 | @ezjersey719 | Jun 30 6:25am

In reply to @nigelm "@ccelvira I am dealing with a wife who gets drunk 2 to 7 days a week...." + (show)

@nigelm I hope she makes it. In the meantime, learning how to focus on yourself and what you need is important. If you’re a reader, there’s no shortage of literature that addresses and might help you understand the situation. AlAnon says “you didn’t cause it, you can’t cure it, and you can’t control it.” Living with an alcohol can be draining. Take good care of yourself.

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