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I am going to cry

Posted by standinginfaith @standinginfaith, Jun 10 4:41am

I took an antibiotic 7 years ago and it blew a hemorrhage in my stomach and then .. doctors doctors.. now the rheumatologist says he can't treat fibromyalgia. A surprise diagnosis and I have to find a new one ..finally made it to the allergist.. I've been in and out of the hospital for several years..and she says it 's CSU Chronic Spontaneous Urticaria..I get so sick from anything..I might be able to get a Xolair shot.. the 2 months waiting have been agonizing.. and I'm a Christian and trying to keep my faith but it's getting hard.I used to be so active . sales rep for about 40 years 1000 miles a weak.. and haven't driven in over 3 years. Every dr has a new diagnosis..I live very rural.. have a great PC but .. I am in 3rd stage kidney failure and the nephrologist is condescending and wants me to take meds I react to.. and gets nasty with me.. can't get in to see another on til December..when my husband got cancer I cried and it upset him so I didn't cry from Nov 2 til June 16th when he passed 15 years ago. I wasn't able to see my Daddy before he passed at a month before his 99 th birthday and my Mommy passed in July of last year..I was passing a 10.7mm kidney stone and made it to the new gastro when I got a facebook message from my little sister ."Mom's not long for this world.". was on the phone arguing with the urologist later that day when my sister messaged me ..mom's dead.. (they lived over a 1000 miles away) ..I'm on my 3rd try for meds for an infection and they are making me sick. what is the point of going on.. no children.. 72 years old.. just wanted to tell someone.. can't tell my friends.. they are tired of hearing it. I see everyone else doing thing ..not me...I feel guilty for not trusting God more.. dread waking up every day..eating is so scary ..so ..I am positive for scleroderma.. I think I might be depressed..and I might just cry..Dave's not here so it won't hurt him..I know I should be grateful to be breathing but this medical battle is getting old..I am so grateful for this forum.. everyone is so supportive.. thank you for being here..!! God bless you all!

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standinginfaith | @standinginfaith | Jun 22 10:17am
In reply to @judyingenes "@standinginfaith Hi It's me again : ) Remember me? I'm the BIG Hugger! And we had..." + (show)
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@standinginfaith
Hi It's me again : ) Remember me? I'm the BIG Hugger! And we had tea together and cried our eyes out...Yeah I'm that one! First of all I need a BIG hug from you!! I've been lookin' in on you through this window here on Connect and because of your reminder I did get my bloodwork done.. Thank you! I'm low in vitamin D. No surprise hmm? Also still low in iron and will need another iron infusion treatment. Enough about me.
How are YOU Honey? Did you finally get a new kidney specialist who isn't going to treat you in a condescending way? You mentioned your weight...I know, I know...we don't like to talk about it. You were trying to loose? Boy, I don't like the word try. Do or don't do, right? Not try... How's that coming along? I mainly watch portions of food. I was eating 2 or 3 portions not 1 and I don't eat until I'm full either now. Has been working for me
Wow, reading your discussion, you have been cured of some nasty things. God is good! We have lots of good things in our lives; some small and we forget about them.
But, beautiful sunsets count; that beautiful hymn from rashida counts. Count them all and find more little good things every day and we will talk about them next time we have tea, okay? BIG HUG!!

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@judyingenes Hi!! Here's a big hug for you!! I'm so sorry but I don't remember having had tea with you..(I don't drink tea..) perhaps you have me confused with someone else..but I just know you're an extra special person!! I don't do messages because I'm just not well enough right now.. prayers for you and a huge hug!!

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Judyinjeans. | @judyingenes | Jun 22 3:00pm
In reply to @standinginfaith "@judyingenes Hi!! Here's a big hug for you!! I'm so sorry but I don't remember having..." + (show)
Profile picture for standinginfaith @standinginfaith

@judyingenes Hi!! Here's a big hug for you!! I'm so sorry but I don't remember having had tea with you..(I don't drink tea..) perhaps you have me confused with someone else..but I just know you're an extra special person!! I don't do messages because I'm just not well enough right now.. prayers for you and a huge hug!!

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@standinginfaith
Awww I was talking about here in this chat with you...that's okay, my sense of humor and playfulness is kind of odd. Thank you for the prayers! : )

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standinginfaith | @standinginfaith | Jun 22 4:20pm
In reply to @judyingenes "@standinginfaith Awww I was talking about here in this chat with you...that's okay, my sense of..." + (show)
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@standinginfaith
Awww I was talking about here in this chat with you...that's okay, my sense of humor and playfulness is kind of odd. Thank you for the prayers! : )

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@judyingenes I actually think your humor is kinda cute!! LOL!! God bless you!!

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lauracbaker | @lauracbaker | Jun 23 10:56am

Morning sunshine on your face (B4 screens), a brisk walk as a constitutional, lemon water. . . I like to pray while absorbing the sunshine. . . this is how I start my day. Watch your vit.D3 level (get it above 50 ng/mL) and get some magnesium. There are some great multi-magnesium gummies available. 72 is too soon for you to give up! Please keep trusting God to help you find healing. I am praying for you. And me. currently, I'm eating 3 T. fermented kraut daily to see if that helps my gut flora. I also have had to give up all dairy except butta. 🙂 . . BUT, most of all, in my own case, a brisk walk for 20 min. is one of the best medicines. . . . also, frequent prayer of thanksgiving; enumerating my blessings and thanking Him for them; that also is healing for me. Please keep us updated! I am almost 76 and completely understand your mindset! But I have family who love me. Most of the time. At least they love my cooking. LOL I have great hopes that you will find joy!

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standinginfaith | @standinginfaith | Jun 24 8:34am
In reply to @lauracbaker "Morning sunshine on your face (B4 screens), a brisk walk as a constitutional, lemon water. ...." + (show)
Profile picture for lauracbaker @lauracbaker

Morning sunshine on your face (B4 screens), a brisk walk as a constitutional, lemon water. . . I like to pray while absorbing the sunshine. . . this is how I start my day. Watch your vit.D3 level (get it above 50 ng/mL) and get some magnesium. There are some great multi-magnesium gummies available. 72 is too soon for you to give up! Please keep trusting God to help you find healing. I am praying for you. And me. currently, I'm eating 3 T. fermented kraut daily to see if that helps my gut flora. I also have had to give up all dairy except butta. 🙂 . . BUT, most of all, in my own case, a brisk walk for 20 min. is one of the best medicines. . . . also, frequent prayer of thanksgiving; enumerating my blessings and thanking Him for them; that also is healing for me. Please keep us updated! I am almost 76 and completely understand your mindset! But I have family who love me. Most of the time. At least they love my cooking. LOL I have great hopes that you will find joy!

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@lauracbaker Beautiful!! Prayers for you too!!

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