How do I tell my family I want to quit treatment just so I can die?

A man in our church was a quadriplegic and had other serious health issues. One day as I was visiting him in a sub par nursing home, he asked me if he would go to heaven if he stopped taking the meds that were just extending his life artificially. I guess I kind of gave him permission to refuse the medications, knowing that he had faith in God, and he didn't live very long after he stopped taking the meds. He had no "quality of life", though that isn't always a reason to end one's life, but as his pastor, I knew he was ready to go. He passed peacefully in his sleep, leaving behind the pain and suffering.

I'm a suicide survivor (selfish is an inappropriate description), and knowing what I do now, 25 years later, I have confidence that if I had not survived, I would have woken up in heaven. I was frankly disappointed that I woke up in my own bed.

Suicide is an uncomfortable word for many people. Spoken in a group of people, it's an instant conversation breaker. Any mention of death can be challenging. But it's part of the natural cycle of life. I choose every day to live another day, another week, another month, or just another hour. For me, it's a decision to make often. Most people never give it a thought. They're fortunate. Mental distress is hard to live with.

Jim

I have had MDD since I was 16, although at that time no body really knew much about it. I will be 80 in July. Living with this condition for 64 years has been challenging. I have attempted suicide once, and considered it many times. Two and a half years ago, I took a fall and landed in the hospital for almost a week, and in rehab for two weeks. I have not recovered fully. I have a headache every day, and I have lost a lot, mentally, especially in comprehension. I no longer go out, to church, or anywhere, really, and physically - I seem to have lost my balance and strength all at once. My life has been reduced to a pinprick of light. On some days the pinprick turns into a ray. On other days I sleep much of the day. I have no desire to continue living, but I am unwilling to try suicide again for fear of failing. I have no family or friends to tell how I feel. I have thought of starving myself, but fear I would be force-fed. I don’t know what to do. Blessings.

@dollyjaneprenzel - having major depressive disorder for decades would be very hard. Really rough when you have times when you just don't want to keep on with life.

I do know from writing for Mayo Clinic's trauma center that falls can really be a challenging tipping point for older adults - much more difficult to recover from, and can lead to a bit of a slide in the downhill health direction.

I like your description of the pinprick of light turning into a ray of light. That actually gives a real picture of hope dawning.

I believe you mentioned that you have a dog named Daphne? I recall she was getting up there in age. Is she still living? If so, does she provide any hope and desire to stay around for you?

Your life is your choice. If you tell your family, they might try and move you to an institution. Certain people don't believe you have the right to die no matter how much you suffer. It sounds like you don't really want this to be your decision. You should find a support group. I have suffered with depression, all of my life. I have many health issues and hope I have the guts to go on my own terms when I can no longer take care of myself. I will, I hope, be able to explain it in a letter that they will find after the fact. Wasting away is no way to go.

I have had MDD since I was 16, although at that time no body really knew much about it. I will be 80 in July. Living with this condition for 64 years has been challenging. I have attempted suicide once, and considered it many times. Two and a half years ago, I took a fall and landed in the hospital for almost a week, and in rehab for two weeks. I have not recovered fully. I have a headache every day, and I have lost a lot, mentally, especially in comprehension. I no longer go out, to church, or anywhere, really, and physically - I seem to have lost my balance and strength all at once. My life has been reduced to a pinprick of light. On some days the pinprick turns into a ray. On other days I sleep much of the day. I have no desire to continue living, but I am unwilling to try suicide again for fear of failing. I have no family or friends to tell how I feel. I have thought of starving myself, but fear I would be force-fed. I don’t know what to do. Blessings.

wow what a statement, my beliefs wont allow sideways without going to hell, my brother gave up and went that direction, all i could do was pray for him. not trying to change your mind and i so much at a couple points wanted the same, let me go.. that is what my family said i was being too selfish. been dead a couple times and brought back at the last minuet. god must have plans for me and not sure what they are, i could be worse off than recovering from a major head trauma like i am right now, some days i dont want to get out of bed, you know-give up. but i have seen too many family members and friends at funerals who were crushed by selfish individuals. my fight that keeps me in the game is knowing my daughter would be hit the hardest and i get up every day and i work at staying alive so i can give her the drive to carry on too. she has seizures and the doc says one day a grand mall . mine are better now been a couple months since my last and ill keep praying .every day they are finding cures for things. i just have someone to fight to live for. I pray you find that person. Have a blessed evening and try to make someone's day brighter, a smile or laugh goes a long way, same as a hug. say love ya to somebody. make a difference to someone who cares. i recently turned 69 and want to see 100 plus.

@randallshields56 ..Walk in MY shoes for 5 minutes and then you can criticize or give me your wisdom or advice on life. I was diagnosed with MS at 29. Due to a medical screw-up at age 54 I was hospitalized and discharged after 2 weeks in the isolation ward with Chemical Meningitis. As a result of the screw-up I now have Adhesive Arachnoiditis. I lost my career and income. I am in chronic to intractable pain even with a neurostimulator. Can't drive, eyesight is bad, and that is just a start. I am in my 70's now. NO ONE has the right to tell me I have fight.