@dollyjaneprenzel - having major depressive disorder for decades would be very hard. Really rough when you have times when you just don't want to keep on with life.

I do know from writing for Mayo Clinic's trauma center that falls can really be a challenging tipping point for older adults - much more difficult to recover from, and can lead to a bit of a slide in the downhill health direction.

I like your description of the pinprick of light turning into a ray of light. That actually gives a real picture of hope dawning.

I believe you mentioned that you have a dog named Daphne? I recall she was getting up there in age. Is she still living? If so, does she provide any hope and desire to stay around for you?