Being Old With Chronic Pain plus Loneliness

I agree completely, @paracat - a psychologist saying she's too busy? How caring is that! I hope there's someone else you can see. I've never had one tell me that. I've seen a parade of therapists, and I can't think of one I didn't like. Each one has had a hand in keeping me alive and somewhat sane.

Maybe the doctor will surprise you today. I hope so. Let us know how it goes.

Jim

Thank-you, that helps. I've never heard of cancer bringing it on. My docs always just said you have neuropathy with the same intensity as "u have hiccups". They gave no follow through or answered any questions. I always thought it was my body trying to tell me something. I went a long time without insurance so I'm happy for what I have-just wish it was better. Mine sounds like yours with a few differences. Not too much burning pain in feet & ankles & hands just some. Most was pain like a tire rod being pounded into my calf bones & ankles of the leg that was paralyzed due to a broken neck when I was around 7. A car hit me & I flew 30 or so feet in the air & landed on my head. Similar. I've never heard all these things could cause neuropathy. Here it's almost like they want you to have diabetes so they can blame everything on that & questions will stop. My pain starts as tingles, pins, needles, extreme pain causing me to rise up as my hands curve into frozen claws. This position makes my humerus & shoulders bend & spasm where my cancer tumors are. Hopefully they are getting smaller with treatment. Sometimes just numbness in finger tips. Another problem, I don't know if it is related, is pain as if knifes are going through one side than the other of my bad knee and ankle with searing electricity. Sometimes it travels up to my lower back or just sciatica, then down flaring out at the back of knee, down mt calf to explode at my ankle & ooze into my foot tingling with burning pain. Is that normal for NP? I've had this since 1992 when I broke my tib/fib. They set it wrong (closed set crooked) & I was in different casts for over 18 months. There you go- multiple causes/involvement.

Jim, please forgive me for going on & on. I think I never wanted to "own" it so I never looked into it (plus I had a lot of other things to do). One search answered all my questions: https://www.emedicinehealth.com/neuropathy/article_em.htm#types_of_neuropathy

Now I'm wondering if that might be part of my optical problems! Good thing I see that doc next month.

@paracat~ I don't know how to personal message, just thought all the doggie talk might not be best here. I'm on another website that lets you personal message. This site is much better because the other only covers one ailment. Believe me, I know all about the loss of income, identity, purpose, & future plans. It's hard to find one place to get all the best answers, there isn't one. Social workers suppose to help & patient advocates. They are good places to start. Write everything down. Start small, it might get overwhelming. I lived in a city that had an organization for people with ANY kind of disability. They were MOST helpful.

The best thing is to have a dog that is your Service Dog. That way all their expenses from food, grooming, Veterinary... is written off in your taxes or deducted from your rent if you have subsidized housing. I trained my first one by myself 15 years ago. That was sufficient than. I don't know how the rules have changed. Some are different State to State. Back then all you needed was a doc to write a letter stating you needed one. He's semi retired now, so I'm training a new one. I believe one change is you have to have a certificate from a school that offers a Good Conduct Certificate. They usually have them at Community Schools for about $15-$20. My teacher let me make payments.

Here's a website that asks you to foster & they cover all the expenses: http://www.rpsm.org/ The program needs Foster homes to acclimate shelter dogs they then put into prisons to be trained & re-homed with some going as Service Dogs. Depending on your needs you might want to inquire on getting a service Dog there. You might have to live in their State, but you may be able to find a similar program near you. I found their site from this story: https://www.petcofoundation.org/love-story/jessica-dakota/

Another idea is to doggie sit a dog for someone who is away at work all day. If you are home most of the day. The hardest part for me is early morning & late at night when they need to go outside & my pain is at it's worse. It might be a good way to start if you are getting use to any new weaknesses... to see how much you can do without a total commitment. I'm looking for a tiny one for a friend in a wheelchair & I will be backup caretaker to her pup if she needs to go in the hospital or something. I think it would be easier to have 2 little ones because my arm can only play tug a few seconds. Pups go on for 3 1/2 hours! I love it!! Best of luck. There's a lot to think about & we can revisit this topic anytime. It's my FAVORITE thing to discuss!

Totally understand the knife through the knees feeling...mine is from OA and bone spurs on my knees. Neuropathy is not for wimps either. No one has bothered to find the cause of my neuopathy-probably blame it on age like nearly every thing else.
Too much trying to figure out symptoms/diagnosis by perusing the net can at times do more harm than good. Best to talk w/ the doctor and would advise not telling them you know the problem by reading symptoms online-some of the info is enough to bring on an attack of apoplexy for the patient...not to believe all that is online is the best advice I can give,
Wishing you the best on your journey.

@jimhd OMG, was that I saw carrying those paint buckets years ago??? We may have passed each other at some point both doing the same thing. Those high ceilings w/ scaffolding were the most fun...arrgghh. Somewhere I mentioned being prescribed a bp med-drinking plenty of water and feet swelling worse. Give my body time to adjust was the instruction given. Only started it last Friday. Oh well, so much for it working to reduce swelling in feet...hope they don't explode as that would leave a mess...

@lillyanne - I'm glad you're seeing doctors. I know what a challenge it can be to diagnose things that may or may not be related .

Jim

@paracat, I apologize that this took me a week to find, but I think you would like the conversation on pets and how they can help us heal. You can find that discussion here, https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/what-pets-can-do-health-and-healing/. Just click on the link and you will meet many members talking about the therapeutic value of having pets.

I relate with your post. Although I would have never thought of myself as old at 56, contrary to my grandchildren’s beliefs, I feel much older than my age due to my pain. I am no longer able to drive and I have had to move in with my daughter and her family. They go about their lives and I am often left home because of my pain and that increases my loneliness 10 fold. I try to read or stay busy but my pain interferes with it so I’m left to rest. I do watch my grandchildren from time to time and I enjoy it so much. Lately since my pain has increased,spinal compression fracture, I can’t do hardly anything at all. I get sad at times but not really depressed because I’m alone in a bedroom most of the time. I guess it just takes time to adjust to a new situation and I really miss living in my own home with my belongings. Most of my house was put into storage in anticipation of getting better and going back to my own place. I’m not sure if I will be able to afford it again since being disabled and having to live off Social Security alone. So yes I understand being older, in pain and feeling alone unfortunately more than I thought I’d ever admit out loud. Peace to you and I hope you find comfort in life each day. Bekie

@bekie I don't think of myself as old at 66. I can still drive and I live alone in an apartment which is humiliating but the best choice for me. I could no longer take care of everything and this is the best I could do. In a way I feel alone as I learned the hard way not to have friends when living in this close of proximity with others. I can still draw and paint some although no longer do commission work. I was forced into retirement 10 years ago because of physical problems. Living on a fixed income is a challenge. Chronic pain (at times severe) has left me feeling useless. Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. I miss working and helping others. the last job I had was in landscape and design. I cannot stand, sit or lie down for long periods of time. I enjoy my 2 grand kids and spend time with them as I can. They help me realize I do have things to offer. I seldom ask another for help. If I cannot do something myself it does not need to be done. I am thankful I can drive again at times. No long trips. DDD of the neck and lumbar, fibromyalgia, scoliosis. You have a blessed day too.

My reply is brief. Yes I am in the same boat as you. Chronic pain, loneliness, and old.