Dealing with a Spouse with a “Mild Cognitive Impairment”

Posted by tryingtimes10 @tryingtimes10, Dec 31, 2024

My husband was diagnosed with MCI in 2019. He is pretty independent, just forgetful of time, dates, location of places, anything electronic & events from our life together (we’ve been married 52 years). It’s all just getting to me. I find myself wanting to be alone so I’m not continuously reminded of these changes. Because my friends/family are out of state, working, or involved with their own families, I really have no one to talk to so I’m seeing a therapist twice a week to deal with the sadness, anger, grief I have over his condition. I just wonder if other women find themselves in this position & how they are dealing with it.

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Profile picture for wctdoc1943 @wctdoc1943

@slarson14 Definitely sounds like some form of cognitive impairment.

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@wctdoc1943 the friend I live with does exactly the same things. Leaves me waiting for almost 30 minutes at a spot in Costco, while he goes to get ONE item. Finally returns WITHOUT the item, grinning and happy as if he’d gone on some spree, with no awareness of my waiting. He is also becoming flustered when interrupted at a task, to which he has extreme uni-focus. And cannot do two things at once, such as continue a verbal chat while looking up a date on his phone.
I’ve been advised to consult medical help for him. Right. If he’s unaware and unwilling, I’m powerless.
Hang in there! Take care of yourself!

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Yes, I’m in a similar position. Family in the other side of the country; no close friends nearby. Seeing counselors for support and to maintain my own mental health. No diagnosis; no recognition that my friend has a problem.
DM me if you want to chat.
Continue to communicate with your therapists. Be good to yourself. Do things that make you happy.
You’re not alone.
🌻

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Profile picture for sunnygardens @sunnygardens

@judimahoney , for me it helps to hug friends and family. Accept any friendly touch offered by others. I know, it’s not the same as the touch from your special person, but it helps. Receiving no physical touch for weeks is devastating to the soul.
Hug your dog.
🌻

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@sunnygardens
Yes, our dog is one of my only sources of touch. She puts up with me most times, and instinctively comes to me when I'm upset. She's become my therapy dog.

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Profile picture for judimahoney @judimahoney

@sunnygardens
Yes, our dog is one of my only sources of touch. She puts up with me most times, and instinctively comes to me when I'm upset. She's become my therapy dog.

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@judimahoney I was just thinking the same about my pups this morning. I don’t know what I would do without them…. My Yorkie-Poo, Saban, is nearly 15, I believe he has some doggie dementia too. He and my husband are a lot alike in their ways😳 Our Labradoodle, Maggie, with her deep soulful eyes seems to truly understand what is going on in this house. She knows there have been changes especially with my husband. She always seems to know when he needs some extra love and attention, and she always knows when I need some extra love and encouragement. She is a certified therapy dog. I didn’t know when we went through her training that she would end up providing therapy for us. 😉

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Profile picture for judimahoney @judimahoney

@sunnygardens
Yes, our dog is one of my only sources of touch. She puts up with me most times, and instinctively comes to me when I'm upset. She's become my therapy dog.

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@judimahoney
Dogs are good people!

Our Puppy passed last year, and we still have an 11 year old cat, Bela Lugosi, who is also a good person.

Tom

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Profile picture for tryingtimes10 @tryingtimes10

Thank you for your response. He is being seen by a cognitive neurologist & has has 2 neuropsych evals roughly 3 years apart which were stable. The providers he has seen are not yet ready to diagnose him with dementia. He has remained relatively stable on testing since 2019. We have been advised that it could progress or remain as it is. I was just interested in whether the HABIT Healthy Action to Benefit Independence & Thinking™ program would be of benefit to him. I wrote to his cognitive neurologist who had not heard of the program but had no objections to him attending. I would like to dialog with others who have attended this program with family members & hear what they have to say about it.

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@tryingtimes10 Mayo's HABIT program is EXCELLENT! Grueling in a way, but my husband and I both got a tremendous amount of useful info from it and we recommend it to anyone with MCI. Our group had some who had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's (my husband), some with LBD, others with no diagnosis at all except MCI. We get together once a month for a "reunion" and to hear about new trials and theories and get tips and advice and support from each other and Dr. Chandler, who is the head of the Jacksonville HABIT program. Well worth the time and Medicare pays for all but a little bit and if I remember right, our supplemental took care of the rest. You'll not regret it! Best of luck to your and God bless!

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Profile picture for theglobalnomad1 @theglobalnomad1

@tryingtimes10 Mayo's HABIT program is EXCELLENT! Grueling in a way, but my husband and I both got a tremendous amount of useful info from it and we recommend it to anyone with MCI. Our group had some who had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's (my husband), some with LBD, others with no diagnosis at all except MCI. We get together once a month for a "reunion" and to hear about new trials and theories and get tips and advice and support from each other and Dr. Chandler, who is the head of the Jacksonville HABIT program. Well worth the time and Medicare pays for all but a little bit and if I remember right, our supplemental took care of the rest. You'll not regret it! Best of luck to your and God bless!

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@theglobalnomad1 I couldn’t agree more. We participated in Arizona two summers ago and 4 of us participants have staying in touch monthly since.
While everyone hoped their person would not advance to dementia, all of our spouses have despite following all the protocols we learned in HABIT.
That said, I feel better about handling and understanding what’s happening for having enrolled us in the HABIT program.

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