Death of Husband: The hardest thing I've had to deal with

Posted by lind827 @lind827, Oct 27, 2020

We were married 37 years when he died 9/16 at 69 ears old. He has metastatic melanoma since 7/22/19 and was not able to handle the immunity treatments at the end, at that point lots of other problems started that brought him to death. This is the hardest thing I have had to deal with and wanted to do group therapy but no one is doing it. I feel that would be the best for me. I have started counseling but its only my 2nd time. I keep saying i want to feel him or see some sign that he is with me as everyone says it happens, but Neither for me. I think this is what is bringing me the most crying and depression. He was a great husband, father & grandfather. So sad that his 2nd grandchild is due 11/21/20 and he wont see her.

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catherine55 | @catherine55 | Jun 13 7:44am

In reply to @njed "Lost my wife of 52 years unexpectedly in early 2025 due to cardiac arrest. Grief is..." + (show)

@njed thank you for that advice, I am sorry for your loss. It's only been 7 weeks since I lost my husband and it's so hard to get thru each hour of the day.

NJ Ed | @njed | Jun 13 8:34am

In reply to @catherine55 "@njed thank you for that advice, I am sorry for your loss. It's only been 7..." + (show)

@catherine55 Only 7 weeks out, yes...the feeling of being paralyzed is normal and I felt that way for several months. Almost hard to believe. Two steps forward and one back, likely that's now or even one forward and two back. In time, all that will improve. Again, time. For the first four months, I lost 35 pounds and just wanted to get from one day to another. Then eventually one week to the next. Things will improve slowly. Take care of yourself.

catherine55 | @catherine55 | Jun 13 9:47am

In reply to @njed "@catherine55 Only 7 weeks out, yes...the feeling of being paralyzed is normal and I felt that..." + (show)

@njed thank you so much. I pray for peace,my husband would never want me to be this unhappy. Your words help.

eileen11108 | @eileen11108 | Jun 13 1:15pm

My thoughts and prayers are with you all. I am 82 years old and I have traveled this road twice.
My first husband died in 1990 from lung cancer. So I know what is like to watch someone die slowly. My children were 18 and 21 and lived with me so that was a help.
In 2001 I remarried a wonderful man. He had a cardiac catheterization in March 2025. Surgeon punctured his main artery and he died the next day,

Losing a spouse either way is not easy, This is the first time I ever lived alone. The Serenity Prayer is a mainstay for me, I know I will meet them again when I pass, Eileen

71/502 | @brucerichardson | Jun 13 1:52pm

In reply to @catherine55 "@pml your words are very helpful. 38 years with my husband and some days I am..." + (show)

@catherine55 I am so terribly sorry for the loss of your husband.

chesley | @chesley | Aug 26 10:42pm

Although you posted some time ago, I had to respond. My husband of 42 years died on March 29 of metastasized
prostrate cancer. I had made my commitment (to myself) to stay with him until the end. It was truly horrible but I kept my commitment. I'm 81. He lived 94 years. Without a doubt, his death was the hardest thing I've had to deal with, too. I have lots of help. Reading C.S. Lewis "A Grief Observed" for the third time. He's truly an icon of English literature. He tells the true story of his own grief after his wife died from metastatic cancer. For me, He's profound. I haven't gone through any "stages of grief". I do know I'm getting better with my life. I also know it takes a long time. Blessings your way.

Miriam, Volunteer Mentor | @mir123 | Aug 27 10:16am

In reply to @chesley "Although you posted some time ago, I had to respond. My husband of 42 years died..." + (show)

@chesley The C.S Lewis helped me when I was widowed at the age of 41. Thanks for mentioning it!

footballmum | @footballmum | Aug 27 11:02am

Good morning from Canada
My husband passed away one year ago. June 4th, 2025 suddenly. We were on vacation meeting our first grandchild and he had a heart episode and died in hospital in Ottawa away from home. I would suggest this is my personal suggestion is to read heaven is for real. It's an amazing book. A story about a little boy who went to heaven and met his great-grandfather somebody he'd never ever met. Anyway, it's a beautiful story and it brings hope of the Resurrection and that's what gets me through day today. Today I'm only 65 years old. I know for some people that's not young but that's relatively young to be widowed and I just look forward to the day when I will be reunited with my beloved husband. ❤️❤️

kathleenhalligan59 | @kathleenhalligan59 | Aug 27 12:32pm

In reply to @chesley "Although you posted some time ago, I had to respond. My husband of 42 years died..." + (show)

@chesley I’m so sorry. I lave late stage lung cancer but my sweet husband has dementia, he is no longer eating. I am heartbroken. I feel your pain.

pml | @pml | Aug 29 9:13pm

In reply to @footballmum "Good morning from Canada My husband passed away one year ago. June 4th, 2025 suddenly. We..." + (show)

@footballmum
I'm so sorry that you lost your husband so unexpectedly. That's very sad and hard to cope with. My husband died from lung cancer in 2024. It takes a while to even grasp that your life is now different. However, it helps to know that we will be reunited with our husbands in Heaven eventually in God's time as you found out from reading that wonderful book. When Jesus was resurected he told everyone, "I go to prepare a place for you." before he went back up to Heaven. And that's exactly what he did! It's just difficult being left behind. However, if we ask God for help to get through this sad time, he will be there for us.
I ask for God's help everyday and he's always there for me and answers all my prayers. I hope things get easier for you and they will. I'll say a prayer for you.
I wish you the best.
PML

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