husband with off again, on again cognitive impairment, stressful

Hi, I am in the same boat as you. My husband was scheduling appointments for unnecessary services (home inspections, twice), and getting just a ton of spam and potential scam on his phone. He doesn't remember doing it, so it's embarrassing when folks show up at our home for no reason.
So, I deleted his Facebook app on his phone, because that is how he was communicating with vendors (even though I monitor his email, texts and voice-mail, and ask him to put any call he receives on speaker (I had to deal with dental insurance call this morning that he'd requested, and we already have insurance).
It's a nightmare, and I can read the writing on the wall; someday we'll have to give up his phone because of problems it's causing. I hate to set us up for fraud, so scary.
Good luck to you! 🪷

Yes, and good luck to you as well. Thank you for your reply.

I cannot imagine what you are going through. My wife, who passed away six months ago, while suffering with a form of dementia for six years, was never into social media. She, and I, both had/have cell phones - but not smartphones. So...I never had to deal with the problems of internet and social media interactions while caregiving for those six years. Maybe, if at all possible, you could confiscate your husbands phones, trade them for a simple cell phone without all of the high tech. options. Come up with some excuse as to why they are no longer able to access the internet - (Supplier no long provides it or some such nonsense.) Might cause a temporary problem, depending on the level of husband's illness, but may just solve the problem.
Good luck, hopefully you are able to resolve this problem quickly - but is you are not able to resolve it - However, be patient, it will pass - and a completely different phase will have to be faced. Stay strong, provide a lot of love and attention, you will never regret it.

I was told to put my husband’s phone on air plane mode to prevent him from making calls. He has since lost his phone and wouldn’t be able to operate it any longer so that’s no longer an issue…

@fred1 Thank you Fred for sharing your thoughts...they are good ones but at this point he is still too lucid at times to believe me if I try to take it away, unfortunately or fortunately depending on how you look at it. If I try to take it away he will be angry all the time, as he is on it 80% of the day . I really appreciate your thoughtful advice though.

cloudydaysue, Sorry you aren't able to use some sort of such as trading phones or the suggestion someone else recommended, set his phone on "airplane" mode. However, be assured that it will pass and there will be another phase, maybe hopefully a lot less frustrating. Try contacting one of the Alzheimer's help lines for suggestions, or maybe there is an org. in your state that supports dementia caregivers - try everything! It sounds as though your husband is in the early stages of this horrible disease, so get all of the help possible. If he is a veteran, contact the VA - there is assistance for caregivers of veterans available.

From some experience and reading hundreds of these on Mayo, there is no wrong. There is just running like hell to keep up. If you stay with this for love, gratitude, or even pity, take care of yourself. Failing to do that is the only thing to do wrong. 🫂

@fred1 Thank you, you are very kind.

@shmerdloff Yes, I do it for love, how can you do otherwise when you've been with someone for 48 years. Finding time for myself is sometimes difficult but so far I'm paying attention to my needs too.
Thank you for the reinforcement and reminder.

Dear @cloudydaysue

A quick note on a big topic. First of all, all kudos and blessings to you. Doing it for love will give you the strength.

In general living by the rule that "The person with dementia is always right" will be the right guidance most of the time, but there are things that just cannot be allowed to go on. For example, letting them drive when they are no longer capable of doing so safely.

In this case, the impact on you if he falls for a scam or gives out private information erroneously could be financially devastating. Only you know if that is where you are now. If that is possible, then applying one of the tactics mentioned or another, and taking away his phone capabilities and, yes, braving his anger for a time is worth considering.

We had a close call in which my husband signed up for a bank service that we did not need. That scared me enough to shut him out of being able to take action on our accounts on his own. Call your financial institutions and see what each one's process for that is.

I would start soon to move other commercial accounts of various kinds into your name only (or both of your names if absolutely necessary ). That can be nightmare later.

Do you have your Powers of Attorney set up?

Behind you all the way!