Dreading Sundown…

@judimahoney I give my wife a "sleepy time" capsule which is 10 mg Indica THC 5 mg CBD and 5 mg CBN (helps with sleep). She has had no problem sleeping. If she get agitated in the afternoon or evening I'll give her a 5mg Indica gummy. It helps settle her. I've been doing this for two years and it has really helped.

@labrown
I've read a few folks on this site recommend gummies to take the edge off their loved ones challenging behaviors.
I may try this someday if my husband starts to sundown.

@labrown

It's amazing that you're just beginning to get worn out. You are a trooper.

I have been worn out and worn down for over a year, but I just pick myself back up and start a new day--hoping that it will be better but prepared that it might be worse than the day before. Caregiving might do me in, but at least I will die happy, knowing that I did my best. And as we keep reminding each other (and quoting Karla), with God's help: "We can do it!"

P.S. George's sundowning behavior has gone through different phrases during this past year. At first, I gave him a melatonin around 8 p.m. He would go to bed around 9 p.m. and sleep for two hours, wake up every hour on the hour after that, and then stay up for a three-hour interval every night. While he was awake, he got in and out of bed up to 16 times during that interval.

Now, on most nights, he refuses to come to bed because he's either afraid that his back will hurt too much, or that he won't be able to get back out of bed; so he insists on sleeping in his recliner, which is in another room. I still give him a melatonin at 4 p.m. and another one around 8 p.m. He falls asleep in his chair at 9 p.m., sometimes earlier. Around 3 a.m., he gets up and starts wandering around and hollering. I give him a drop of THC/CBD, which gets him to sleep for two hours. When he wakes up again, I give him a gummy and he'll sleep until 8 a.m.

One manifestation of George's anxiety is that he asks me all day long and at night right before bedtime: "Where's my wallet? Where are my keys? Where's my cell phone?" I got him a pouch for him to keep all those things together in one place, and I tell him to keep the pouch on top of his desk in his office. So, when he asks for one of those items, I tell him that it's in his pouch. I thought that would simplify our life; but now, he'll ask me where's his pouch, and I tell him that it's on top of his desk. Then he'll ask where's his desk, and I tell him that it's in his office. Then he'll say: "I don't know where that is." Did God choreagraph variations of a new dance for dementia partners? Is there humor in this somewhere? I must be missing it because the repetition drives me crazy--then I have to snap out of it.

@labrown

It's amazing that you're just beginning to get worn out. You are a trooper.

I have been worn out and worn down for over a year, but I just pick myself back up and start a new day--hoping that it will be better but prepared that it might be worse than the day before. Caregiving might do me in, but at least I will die happy, knowing that I did my best. And as we keep reminding each other (and quoting Karla), with God's help: "We can do it!"

P.S. George's sundowning behavior has gone through different phrases during this past year. At first, I gave him a melatonin around 8 p.m. He would go to bed around 9 p.m. and sleep for two hours, wake up every hour on the hour after that, and then stay up for a three-hour interval every night. While he was awake, he got in and out of bed up to 16 times during that interval.

Now, on most nights, he refuses to come to bed because he's either afraid that his back will hurt too much, or that he won't be able to get back out of bed; so he insists on sleeping in his recliner, which is in another room. I still give him a melatonin at 4 p.m. and another one around 8 p.m. He falls asleep in his chair at 9 p.m., sometimes earlier. Around 3 a.m., he gets up and starts wandering around and hollering. I give him a drop of THC/CBD, which gets him to sleep for two hours. When he wakes up again, I give him a gummy and he'll sleep until 8 a.m.

One manifestation of George's anxiety is that he asks me all day long and at night right before bedtime: "Where's my wallet? Where are my keys? Where's my cell phone?" I got him a pouch for him to keep all those things together in one place, and I tell him to keep the pouch on top of his desk in his office. So, when he asks for one of those items, I tell him that it's in his pouch. I thought that would simplify our life; but now, he'll ask me where's his pouch, and I tell him that it's on top of his desk. Then he'll ask where's his desk, and I tell him that it's in his office. Then he'll say: "I don't know where that is." Did God choreagraph variations of a new dance for dementia partners? Is there humor in this somewhere? I must be missing it because the repetition drives me crazy--then I have to snap out of it.

@gratia The couple of things that seemed to help with my Tom's sundowning was hit and miss from one night to the next but I wouldn't/couldn't give up. I know, it's easier said than done but I just had to keep trying because I thought that it would stick and then we could both move on with getting good nights rest. It seemed to help with his agitation as well. 1) turn the lights down low but keep a night light on in rooms where there was no light (i.e. bathroom, kitchen) 2) try a small lite snack. He enjoyed when I would make him pudding. A simple scrambled egg and jelly toast. Surprisingly these would calm him down and he would start to relax. These snacks sometimes had to happen at midnight or later because he just couldn't relax. The first time I tried these, i was elated because in no time we was falling asleep. 3) I tried to take away as much stimulation as I could, like bright lights or tv. He didn't know how to navigate the internet anymore so that wasn't an issue. I'd also put on soft music. 4) I would try to stop giving him food or drink a couple of hours before bedtime. Especially anything with caffeine, like hot chocolate ( which he loved) or anything with sugar. All the same stimulants that would keep any of us awake, right? 5) I also tried Melatonin as well, but that didn't work as well as I thought. ( I thought it would be that magical cure-all pill). 6) I would sometimes read to him as well.
Since there is no text book on what will always work, taking the advice from others on here is a starting point I believe that will help you find your answers. I truly believe you will your way for the both of you.
Strength, Love, Peace and Hugs

@labrown

It's amazing that you're just beginning to get worn out. You are a trooper.

I have been worn out and worn down for over a year, but I just pick myself back up and start a new day--hoping that it will be better but prepared that it might be worse than the day before. Caregiving might do me in, but at least I will die happy, knowing that I did my best. And as we keep reminding each other (and quoting Karla), with God's help: "We can do it!"

P.S. George's sundowning behavior has gone through different phrases during this past year. At first, I gave him a melatonin around 8 p.m. He would go to bed around 9 p.m. and sleep for two hours, wake up every hour on the hour after that, and then stay up for a three-hour interval every night. While he was awake, he got in and out of bed up to 16 times during that interval.

Now, on most nights, he refuses to come to bed because he's either afraid that his back will hurt too much, or that he won't be able to get back out of bed; so he insists on sleeping in his recliner, which is in another room. I still give him a melatonin at 4 p.m. and another one around 8 p.m. He falls asleep in his chair at 9 p.m., sometimes earlier. Around 3 a.m., he gets up and starts wandering around and hollering. I give him a drop of THC/CBD, which gets him to sleep for two hours. When he wakes up again, I give him a gummy and he'll sleep until 8 a.m.

One manifestation of George's anxiety is that he asks me all day long and at night right before bedtime: "Where's my wallet? Where are my keys? Where's my cell phone?" I got him a pouch for him to keep all those things together in one place, and I tell him to keep the pouch on top of his desk in his office. So, when he asks for one of those items, I tell him that it's in his pouch. I thought that would simplify our life; but now, he'll ask me where's his pouch, and I tell him that it's on top of his desk. Then he'll ask where's his desk, and I tell him that it's in his office. Then he'll say: "I don't know where that is." Did God choreagraph variations of a new dance for dementia partners? Is there humor in this somewhere? I must be missing it because the repetition drives me crazy--then I have to snap out of it.

@georgescraftjr Wow, it looks like you're lucky if you get 6 hours sleep in between that 9 p.m. and 3 am. if you're lucky. That's impossible for anyone. I know it would be for me. Do you have any in-home help at night for him, so you can sleep? Yes, "we can do" it, I know the Lord doesn't want us to keep sacrificing our own health. My husband went to the primary care, and she told him (even with the MCI and memory loss), that he was her role model. Nothing was wrong with him. Meanwhile, me, his caregiver is battling, all kinds of GI issues, inflammation, blood pressure and cholesterol, kidney issues, etc. I'm realizing he could outlive me. The stress and anxiety of all this takes its toll and with no sleep. I just don't know how you do it. Also, is there something stronger you can give George to keep it down - in and out of bed 16 times in one night, is exhausting? Also, my husband has a backpack that he keeps right next to where he sleeps. I like that fanny pack idea Judy had.
Best, Karla

@kjc48

No such luck: Six hours of sleep. What? (Not sure what I wrote to give you that idea.) I sleep in 45-60 minute intervals throughout the night. Sometimes, when I'm lucky, I can get in two straight hours of sleep when I first hit the sack. After that, sleep is a nightmare. Pure torture.

P.S. I always tell George not to fear death because I will probably go first, so he could just follow my lead.