Dying Well

Today in the New York Times.
(Hopefully the link works.)
https://www.nytimes.com/2026/05/30/well/medical-aid-in-dying.html

@healthysenior , @ess77 ~
"Do our best to be patient" - good pun!! Actually, I have been thinking more about the process of choosing a rehab facility since this topic came up, since I know the hearts of my daughter and daughter-in-law who searched for the very best place they could find for my recouperation and therapy. I would not have thought to ask this question, prior to admittance, but it is absolutely essential and should be asked of the facility's ADMINISTRATOR: "What percentage of the staff are actual employees and what percent are 'agency support'?" I'm 79, and I remember how readily a person could assess the levels of preparation in years past. The professional nursing staff wore white dresses, white stockings, white shoes, and a white nurse's cap with stripes, the number of which indicated the amount of training they had earned. Today, almost all the staff are dressed casually with no designation as to their knowledge of the profession, so a visitor who is trying to determine the ratio of professional staff to the patients, might assume a high ratio as they observe people of "authority" coming in and out of rooms with nothing more than a name tag to designate the fact that they aren't themselves patients. A rather scary example for me was when I was told to put NO weight on one foot for several days, and needed to use the restroom. The white board at the entrance to my room, which had directions for the different shifts who would answer a call bell, stated in large letters "Needs 2 persons when walking". The "2" was thickly underlined. But many times only one would answer the call bell and find they couldn't manage me in a standing position because they weren't trained to do that, even if there were two. Being my own healthcare advocate while being immobilized and really out of control of most everything was something I hadn't anticipated, and having to assume that role added a whole new level of stress to what was already the daunting expectation of a good recovery. I'm not explaining this to criticize as much as I am to enlighten so that others may make informed decisions as they make choices for themselves, or for those of their loved ones. In closing here, I'll say, "Take care" and mean that most sincerely ~
Barb

@edsutton

Excellent article Ed. Thanks. One of my deepest worries is that North Carolina will not pass the MAID legislation before I may need access to it. Considerations for me may be returning to either California or Oregon where it is already legal. I also think about using the services that Switzerland offers to those outside of its borders. I, frankly, doubt that NC will pass it due to a number of factors.
There seems to be incredible resistance here to people having dominion over their own bodies.

@gravity3
Gravity-
Your response makes me feel less alone. Thank you!
Did I mention that my friend Karen, who was living in Oregon and chose VSED to end her life, died in just four days?
She was 83, and while not diagnosed with a disease that would kill her in 6 months, she had been facing cognitive losses for many years, and apparently decided that it was time to depart while she could. She told me of her plans many years earlier.
She was a very willfully self-controlling person, always picky about eating, so I think this may have been relatively easy for her once she decided it was time.

Today in the New York Times.
(Hopefully the link works.)
https://www.nytimes.com/2026/05/30/well/medical-aid-in-dying.html

@bjk3 very insightful and accurate! I was in the healthcare industry for decades, and the changes are truly sad. Patient to caregiver ratios have changed, outside agency staff has increased, and quality of food service has declined. Always remember in a rehab facility that weekends will not provide the same care as during the week. Always try and have an advocate oversee rehab - especially on weekends.

I will add i took a death and dying course as i completed a certificate in Gerontology. It covered many religions and personal beliefs on the end-of-life questions. Most of us sign forms before surgeries to ask who we want to speak for us if we become unable to speak for ourselves. I was required to write my own obituary in my class. It was matter of fact in its context and realistic as to planning is good as once you heal and abilities lessen. If any family rituals are present, your family is free to make choices if nothing is written down and notarized.

@grammato3 Looking forward to your NY Times post.
I googled "Making Plans For Your Aging Loved One" and found some good information and worksheets etc.
Barbara