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In-Home Caretakers Terrible, MCU Much Better

Posted by primarycaretaker2024 @primarycaretaker2024, Mar 25, 2024

We provided my mother with at-home caretakers for over a year. These were "under the table" off-the-books caretakers. I hired them after being put in a bad position. Nobody was willing to provide quality care for her on-the-books and I wasn't ready to put her in a memory care unit. It was incredibly expensive, and in retrospect, the quality was pretty bad. I should have paid more attention to warning signs at the time. Now that she is in a memory care unit she is much better cared for. I wish so much that we had skipped the whole at-home care step. What a waste of money that was.

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lulululu | @lulululu | 6 days ago
In reply to @boppi "When we get “there”, I don’t think I can send my husband away from home and..." + (show)
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When we get “there”, I don’t think I can send my husband away from home and off to a facility. I am hoping that since I will be living with him we will be able to find caregivers to come to our home. I honestly don’t know how I could live with just visiting him at a care facility

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@boppi I agree. I don't think I could send my husband to a facility so I hope we can manage at home. My good friend sent her husband to a facility and found him with another lady friend and since infidelity was part of their marriage it broke her heart. My understanding is the belief is they need companionship! I don't know how common this is.

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lulululu | @lulululu | 6 days ago
In reply to @tsc "Hi @coping123. You made some excellent points. My husband is still at home with Alzheimer's Disease,..." + (show)
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Hi @coping123. You made some excellent points.
My husband is still at home with Alzheimer's Disease, and at this time, it's not difficult for me to take care of him.
We recently met with a geriatrician. She told me that, when the time comes it would not be safe to hire caregivers privately to care for my husband for personal liability reasons. She said to only hire from an agency that has insurance and whose employees are bonded. She also recommended putting credit freezes in place, which we already have.
In our state, the cost of memory care in a facility is $16,000 a month and $24,000 a month for in home care.
It was good to have all this laid out for future planning.

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@tsc Good info. That is about what it is here. At this point I can go to the gym, grocery shop and go walking or lunch with a friend but when that is all taken from me other options will be necessary. Right now I am happy with caring for him. It's been about 4 years and not a lot of change except no driving. He does take memory med and for now we can handle things.

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Teri | @tsc | 5 days ago
In reply to @lulululu "@tsc Good info. That is about what it is here. At this point I can go..." + (show)
Profile picture for lulululu @lulululu

@tsc Good info. That is about what it is here. At this point I can go to the gym, grocery shop and go walking or lunch with a friend but when that is all taken from me other options will be necessary. Right now I am happy with caring for him. It's been about 4 years and not a lot of change except no driving. He does take memory med and for now we can handle things.

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@lulululu
My husband's condition changed recently and he became violent towards me. It was a game changer. I called 911 and he was in the hospital about 10 days. It took that long to adjust his meds (anti-psychotic drugs) so he could get admitted to a secure Memory Care Unit. Now he's quite content there, and I'm adjusting to this change in my life. I think of myself as a midwife, involved in a long labor, who just delivered him to the next stage of his life.
I love this quote from Teepa Snow, something like, "You may be one person in the world, but to one person, you are the world."
Caregiving is rewarding and exhausting.

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