Does moving speed decline?

@ocdogmom what a great sense of humor you have. Me too, at least I try.
But you are right, the damn 'To Do" list is all encompassing and it's hard to find humor in things sometimes you just don't know how to do or want to do.
I love whipped cream - although with the diverticulitis back, no dairy for a while. The squirt gun definitely could work although with all the rain we've had, wind and crazy weather, who needs the squirt gun! I'll check out the Dollar Store. I love that place.........Keep sending your joy out in the universe. It's definitely helping me......Best,

Thank you ret2tus for your thoughtful comments.
I am deciding to move to a care community sooner than later, while my husband can still adjust to new surroundings and people.
Your post is reassuring.

We have not actually moved but our adult kids think our home is too big for us. I have the same issue when we go to our daughters and he becomes agitated because of the unfamiliar. Two of my friends moved with their spouse and feel it has very confusing. I want to stay in our home if possible.

@lulululu
Yes, I've pretty much decided we will stay here until we can't and I'll quit thinking about it. The subject was making me stressed. If my husband was at all social or open to trying new activities I might think differently.

My (uneducated) guess is that it depends on the person and where you're moving. My husband has vascular dementia that has gotten steadily worse. We lived for over 30 years in the same house and just moved about a month ago to independent living inside a CCRC that is in the area we had originally moved from. Lots of family nearby and a great place as far as all the CCRC has to offer. We almost moved two years ago, but I backed off because I was afraid of it confusing him more.

Already he is forgetting the house where we lived for over three decades. If I talk to him about it a bit, he claims to remember, but then he says that was a lot of years ago. But, like I said, it's only been a month. We've had to make trips back to the old house (which hasn't sold yet) to get carloads of stuff we didn't have packed for the movers, and even when we're there, he has questioned where we are.

As far as where we're at now, he does get confused. It's about half the size of our former home and all on one floor instead of two, but he still has trouble finding the bathroom and the bedroom, but he had gotten to the point of having trouble finding the bathroom at the old place, too. Most of the time I simply tell him to look for the room with a toilet or the room with a bed. It just seems to me that exercising his brain even that much can't hurt (again, an uneducated guess).

I worried at first about him being outside, but he can't walk far anymore, plus he hasn't tried anyway. He simply sits out front on the patio and talks to people who come by walking their dogs. It's a very friendly place, and he was always very social, so I think that's been good for him. This is a big place (I've seen small towns that aren't as large) with very little traffic inside it, and we're far enough inside it that he wouldn't be able to walk to the busier highways that border it.

Basically, I think the decision whether to move is probably different for everyone and depends a lot on how much help you need now and expect to need in the future. I wish you the best.

@shmerdloff

Thanks. Very helpful.

There's no easy answer to the question: Should we move or not? It's too stressful for us to even think about it so we're just going to stay in our house for as long as we can.

My husband doesn't care to socialize because he can't. (He is in a lot of pain due to his back, is immobile, tires easily, and has difficulty talking.) He would be even more isolated and confused were we to move him to a care home. (He gets easily confused at home because we are still trying to spend weekends at the coast, where I go to recharge.)

George's Wife

@carolreid -I feel similarly. Our house is too big, but we do have room for our kids when they are able to come visit. We know our neighbors, and have friends, who would help if needed. I need to get proactive and research in-home health for when it might be needed. Thankfully that time is not now, but from reading many posts on here, I realize the importance of knowing ahead of time what help is out there!

@bclane I agree that it depends on the person(s) and the circumstances.
It sounds like you gave it a lot of consideration, did your homework, and it is working out wonderfully for you both! That’s great, and I wish you all the best! We all need to think, research, network with people (such as in this group) , doctors and family and friends, and try to make the best decision. Thank you for sharing yours!