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Alzheimer's and DNR
My husband is 65 with Alz symptoms for past 5-6 years. He had a heart attack in 2013 and last year, cardiac arrest with a pacemaker inserted. His short term memory, executive functioning and vocabulary have decreased a lot in the past year. However, he still is pleasant, can shower, dress himself and groom with reminders of the next step. He can't work anything mechanical. With his history of cardiac problems, I'm thinking about getting a DNR for him. I have Durable and Medical POA. I've talked to him about it, but I don't think he realizes that another cardiac event could be in the near future. As we all know, each one of these types of events makes them worse. He was diagnosed with Alz at Mayo and tried Aricept, but had severe GI reactions and was taken off due to early kidney disease. He's been through a lot medically in the past 10 years. Is it too early to be thinking about a DNR?
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Dearest, @macbeth. Thank you for finding the time to write to us. I had my suspicions that your silence was an indication of having your hands full and being run off your feet. As Scott has said many times, caring for a loved one is darn hard work. It takes its toll. I can only imagine how hard it is to sleep with him in the care of others and that your mind is constantly with him. But sleep would be so good to catch up on now while you can (in theory at least). I wonder if you might consider asking your doctor for a sleep aid to help you catch up. I'm not a medical professional. I suggest this only as a lay person. What I do know is that catching your breath and getting sleep if you can will help you be prepared for the next phase whatever it may bring.
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2 Reactions@colleenyoung
Hey! Thanks for the suggestion! I had totally forgotten that I used to, occasionally, use melatonin, to help me sleep - just half of a 5 mg tab worked great for me. That's what I'll try again.
Macbeth
@macbeth I am glad that you have found some tangible support in the midst of this - even if it wasn't from the people you expected.
The fact that you can find a "grin" in the middle of this is a very good thing - blessings and peace! Teresa
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1 ReactionI was wondering if anyone has had a discussion with their loved one’s primary about getting a DNR. I realize this thread is several years old. I’m curious about the factors that were considered and how it was resolved.
As my brother's guardian, I remember sitting with Dr, the tears dropping from my eyes as we discussed the DNR, he was in end stage and could not participate in the discussion. I did have this kind of discussion with my cousin (now in memory care) she was with me when I did my brother's DNR, and later we talked about her wishes and mine. I did discuss my wishes with my nephews many years ago, and need to do it again, I tried to bring my older sister into the discussion, but she just responded that "she would think about it". It's been 10 years now.....maybe I have to discuss with her again, maybe without her sons, during my next visit.
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1 ReactionI appreciate you sharing about your experiences. I requested a DNR for my cousin years ago as her HCPOA. At the time, she was wheelchair bound and diagnosed with severe vascular dementia. She had always told me her wishes if ever in a situation like that.
Now, I am alternate HCPOA for my father, behind my mom. My dad has an Advance Medical Directive stating that he does not want lifesaving measures if he is diagnosed with an illness like dementia. So, I believe a DNR is appropriate, since he also has CHF and CKD. I intend to discuss it with his doctor at the next visit. I’m hoping my mom is able to follow his request.
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