@hopeful33250 yes absolutely.. I had to leave with nothing. It was my only way out and he has locked me out of all of our bank accounts. He moved all our money. He had been doing it for months. I’m 66 years old and I’m on Social Security. I am having to start my life over at 66 years old. I just can’t afford it at this time.. I’ve been searching for support groups and I’ve been involved there. But I think I need more. I’m still in disbelief that I allowed it to happen. I’m in disbelief that he wasn’t the man that I thought he was. There’s just so many things that my mind just keeps playing over and over and over and my health is declining. I have been to my doctors. They are all aware of it. I know I can get through it. I just have to find a way.
@sheila1960 I will be 61 next month. left six months ago with my car, clothes, and my mom's ashes. I lost everything else because of him. Luckily I am able to stay with a daughter and her family. I had to move several states over, and starting over in an unfamiliar state and city. It was scary at first but after being here for six months, my mind is finally starting to clear and I'm starting to accept my surroundings. I hope that you are able to find the support and help as you get back on your feet. I'm here for support if you need someone to talk to!
@sheila1960 I will be 61 next month. left six months ago with my car, clothes, and my mom's ashes. I lost everything else because of him. Luckily I am able to stay with a daughter and her family. I had to move several states over, and starting over in an unfamiliar state and city. It was scary at first but after being here for six months, my mind is finally starting to clear and I'm starting to accept my surroundings. I hope that you are able to find the support and help as you get back on your feet. I'm here for support if you need someone to talk to!
@sheila1960 I will be 61 next month. left six months ago with my car, clothes, and my mom's ashes. I lost everything else because of him. Luckily I am able to stay with a daughter and her family. I had to move several states over, and starting over in an unfamiliar state and city. It was scary at first but after being here for six months, my mind is finally starting to clear and I'm starting to accept my surroundings. I hope that you are able to find the support and help as you get back on your feet. I'm here for support if you need someone to talk to!
Thank you for your support. I’m very fortunate to be surrounded by family and friends for support. However, they just can’t understand the trauma that’s comes with this type of abuse. This will forever scar me. I’m determined to overcome. I want no contact with this monster. I’ve issued a restraining order. it’s possible I’ve been sheltered all my life living in a very, very small community. This is my home my community he was born and raised in Southern California. I live in southeast Missouri. The only friends he has are the ones so I gave him the only family he has other ones I gave him his entire family has blocked him from their life for over 10 years. He still determined to try to slender me with whatever resource he can find he thinks he’s a victim. I’ve never encountered anything like this in my life.. Im just not sure how to start the healing process.. He lied to me about his entire life story I found his ex-wife and his family, and they were more than willing to talk to me. He did the same exact thing to her and his children. He’s already been cheating lying stealing who are these people?
@tlstark08 I suggest you get on YouTube and look up Dr. Ramani and listen to her videos about narcissists. She is a psychologist with a vast amount of knowledge on exactly what you are describing. My father was NPD and I have been in relationships (if you want to call it that) with narcissists. It is difficult to get away from them. It is difficult to realize that they are not who they led you to believe they are and the drive to try and get back to the point it started is impossible and devastating. These folks are charming and manipulative. They are able to read people and say and do what wonderful things in the beginning...this breaks and the mask starts to crack. There is something called a "trauma bond." Dr. Ramani describes it well. I understand the pull of wanting to stay in the relationship, even when there is a part of me that knows it is emotionally abusive. You realize that talking to him is pointless and yet there is a part of you that really doesn't want to break away. It is a terrible place to be and I get it. It is a cycle. Give yourself some grace. Seriously, go watch and listen to Dr. Ramani. Be sure you are on her YouTube page. Reach out if you need.
@diverdown1 Dr. Ramani is the best! Like you, I got help from Dr. Ramani on You Tube, that has helped me to cope, immensely! Both of my parents were narcissistic! One, though, in particular, was a Malignant Narcissist, where they had to have complete control, over everyone in the household, and then some! I was severely abused, both physically and mentally, by both of my parents, as a child, and grew up, in extreme fear and anxiety, as an everyday occurrence! The parent who was the Malignant Narcissist, targeted me to be the outcast of the family. I have 4 siblings, and i was the second oldest! My other siblings were mentally abused by my parents, but not physically beaten, by both parents, like I was! It was a horrible childhood for me, where I had to stay in a corner, in the basement, much of the time, when my parents weren’t making me to housework, or yardwork! My siblings all had bedrooms, that they shared, but not me! If I tried to speak up, while eating, at the table, as a child, I was verbally reprimanded, and sent to the basement, with no more food, and the basement door locked! So, I left home, and stayed with school buddies, my last year of high school! I couldn’t take it any more! One of my parents had thrown me down the basement stairs, in a fit of anger, at the time, where I sustained a serious leg injury, in a lot of pain, and huge swelling, where I couldn’t get
up! My parents were screaming at each other, and would not help me, and would not call 9-1-1! So, after about an hour or so, of my lying on the cement floor, in pain, my younger sister called my older sister ( who had left home, and gotten married ), who came over right away, helped me to get up the steps and into her car, and she drove me to the hospital ER! I couldn’t tell the Dr.’s what happened, and I never complained to anybody about my abusive parents, my entire childhood and high school years, except my sisters, because, many times, over and over, my patents told me, they would kill me, if I complained to anybody, in the family, or Doctor’s, or anybody else, and it got back to them! I was absolutely petrified/ scared that they would kill me, if I said a word to anyone about how they abused me! I left home, after the basement injury. So, it was like a breath of fresh air, when I left home, in my senior year of high school ( homeless ), and I never came back to live in that home, again! Anyway, I made a good life for myself, with no supportive parents, or family, except my older sister, in my younger years! Somehow, I managed to put myself through college, and ended up, working for a big, international company, in a management position, making a six figure income, and raised a family of my own, successfully! So, Dr. Ramani helped me get through the mental after affects, of what I had gone through, as a child, with her You Tube programs. Two of my siblings are narcissistic, and I have had some problems dealing with their self-centered attitudes! Both of my parents passed away, a number of years ago, and, as I am approaching 80 years old, dealing with multiple medical problems, looking back on my life, I don’t know how I managed to climb out of my abused childhood, and be able to be successful at overcoming such adversity! Maybe it helped a bit, when I majored in Psychology, during my college years!
@sheila1960 I will be 61 next month. left six months ago with my car, clothes, and my mom's ashes. I lost everything else because of him. Luckily I am able to stay with a daughter and her family. I had to move several states over, and starting over in an unfamiliar state and city. It was scary at first but after being here for six months, my mind is finally starting to clear and I'm starting to accept my surroundings. I hope that you are able to find the support and help as you get back on your feet. I'm here for support if you need someone to talk to!
@hopeful33250 yes absolutely.. I had to leave with nothing. It was my only way out and he has locked me out of all of our bank accounts. He moved all our money. He had been doing it for months. I’m 66 years old and I’m on Social Security. I am having to start my life over at 66 years old. I just can’t afford it at this time.. I’ve been searching for support groups and I’ve been involved there. But I think I need more. I’m still in disbelief that I allowed it to happen. I’m in disbelief that he wasn’t the man that I thought he was. There’s just so many things that my mind just keeps playing over and over and over and my health is declining. I have been to my doctors. They are all aware of it. I know I can get through it. I just have to find a way.
It really is important for you to get some quality counseling. You need to find some access to counseling services. Check with your local Easter Seals to see if they offer counseling services. Often, the fee is much lower. Also, you might consider connecting with a church to see what counseling they can provide.
You will need support in order to turn off: "so many things that my mind that keep playing over and over again."
@diverdown1 Dr. Ramani is the best! Like you, I got help from Dr. Ramani on You Tube, that has helped me to cope, immensely! Both of my parents were narcissistic! One, though, in particular, was a Malignant Narcissist, where they had to have complete control, over everyone in the household, and then some! I was severely abused, both physically and mentally, by both of my parents, as a child, and grew up, in extreme fear and anxiety, as an everyday occurrence! The parent who was the Malignant Narcissist, targeted me to be the outcast of the family. I have 4 siblings, and i was the second oldest! My other siblings were mentally abused by my parents, but not physically beaten, by both parents, like I was! It was a horrible childhood for me, where I had to stay in a corner, in the basement, much of the time, when my parents weren’t making me to housework, or yardwork! My siblings all had bedrooms, that they shared, but not me! If I tried to speak up, while eating, at the table, as a child, I was verbally reprimanded, and sent to the basement, with no more food, and the basement door locked! So, I left home, and stayed with school buddies, my last year of high school! I couldn’t take it any more! One of my parents had thrown me down the basement stairs, in a fit of anger, at the time, where I sustained a serious leg injury, in a lot of pain, and huge swelling, where I couldn’t get
up! My parents were screaming at each other, and would not help me, and would not call 9-1-1! So, after about an hour or so, of my lying on the cement floor, in pain, my younger sister called my older sister ( who had left home, and gotten married ), who came over right away, helped me to get up the steps and into her car, and she drove me to the hospital ER! I couldn’t tell the Dr.’s what happened, and I never complained to anybody about my abusive parents, my entire childhood and high school years, except my sisters, because, many times, over and over, my patents told me, they would kill me, if I complained to anybody, in the family, or Doctor’s, or anybody else, and it got back to them! I was absolutely petrified/ scared that they would kill me, if I said a word to anyone about how they abused me! I left home, after the basement injury. So, it was like a breath of fresh air, when I left home, in my senior year of high school ( homeless ), and I never came back to live in that home, again! Anyway, I made a good life for myself, with no supportive parents, or family, except my older sister, in my younger years! Somehow, I managed to put myself through college, and ended up, working for a big, international company, in a management position, making a six figure income, and raised a family of my own, successfully! So, Dr. Ramani helped me get through the mental after affects, of what I had gone through, as a child, with her You Tube programs. Two of my siblings are narcissistic, and I have had some problems dealing with their self-centered attitudes! Both of my parents passed away, a number of years ago, and, as I am approaching 80 years old, dealing with multiple medical problems, looking back on my life, I don’t know how I managed to climb out of my abused childhood, and be able to be successful at overcoming such adversity! Maybe it helped a bit, when I majored in Psychology, during my college years!
@foundryrat743 Thank you for sharing. I’m so sorry that your life was like that as a child. No child should ever have to go through any type of abuse. Your story was very inspirational. It gave me hope.Thank you
@sheila1960 unless someone have gone through this type of abuse, they don't get it. It's definitely a different type of emotional abuse and the healing is different as well. I can definitely chat with you! Where are you located? I am living in Iowa.
Shoot me a message when you get a chance.
@sheila1960 unless someone have gone through this type of abuse, they don't get it. It's definitely a different type of emotional abuse and the healing is different as well. I can definitely chat with you! Where are you located? I am living in Iowa.
Shoot me a message when you get a chance.
@dmbwa99362, you'll notice that I removed your personal email. Connect is a public forum. We recommend sharing personal contact information using the secure private message function. I might also add that by sharing here in the forum, you are connecting with several people where all can benefit from group support.
@foundryrat743 Thank you for sharing. I’m so sorry that your life was like that as a child. No child should ever have to go through any type of abuse. Your story was very inspirational. It gave me hope.Thank you
@sheila1960 Thanks! Normally. I don’t discuss my childhood trauma stuff with anybody, but yes, the purpose of my sharing this very personal story. is to give hope, to others, especially those who feel that they are in hopeless situations, and don’t see a way out! Also, living with a malignant narcissistic person, and/or being controlled by a super narcissistic person, can mean putting one’s life, and/or well being in danger. I went through several situations where I feared for my life, because of the actions of a malignant narcissistic individual, with psychopathic tendencies! Good luck to you, as you navigate through your particular circumstances!
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@sheila1960 I will be 61 next month. left six months ago with my car, clothes, and my mom's ashes. I lost everything else because of him. Luckily I am able to stay with a daughter and her family. I had to move several states over, and starting over in an unfamiliar state and city. It was scary at first but after being here for six months, my mind is finally starting to clear and I'm starting to accept my surroundings. I hope that you are able to find the support and help as you get back on your feet. I'm here for support if you need someone to talk to!
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Thank you for your support. I’m very fortunate to be surrounded by family and friends for support. However, they just can’t understand the trauma that’s comes with this type of abuse. This will forever scar me. I’m determined to overcome. I want no contact with this monster. I’ve issued a restraining order. it’s possible I’ve been sheltered all my life living in a very, very small community. This is my home my community he was born and raised in Southern California. I live in southeast Missouri. The only friends he has are the ones so I gave him the only family he has other ones I gave him his entire family has blocked him from their life for over 10 years. He still determined to try to slender me with whatever resource he can find he thinks he’s a victim. I’ve never encountered anything like this in my life.. Im just not sure how to start the healing process.. He lied to me about his entire life story I found his ex-wife and his family, and they were more than willing to talk to me. He did the same exact thing to her and his children. He’s already been cheating lying stealing who are these people?
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2 Reactions@diverdown1 Dr. Ramani is the best! Like you, I got help from Dr. Ramani on You Tube, that has helped me to cope, immensely! Both of my parents were narcissistic! One, though, in particular, was a Malignant Narcissist, where they had to have complete control, over everyone in the household, and then some! I was severely abused, both physically and mentally, by both of my parents, as a child, and grew up, in extreme fear and anxiety, as an everyday occurrence! The parent who was the Malignant Narcissist, targeted me to be the outcast of the family. I have 4 siblings, and i was the second oldest! My other siblings were mentally abused by my parents, but not physically beaten, by both parents, like I was! It was a horrible childhood for me, where I had to stay in a corner, in the basement, much of the time, when my parents weren’t making me to housework, or yardwork! My siblings all had bedrooms, that they shared, but not me! If I tried to speak up, while eating, at the table, as a child, I was verbally reprimanded, and sent to the basement, with no more food, and the basement door locked! So, I left home, and stayed with school buddies, my last year of high school! I couldn’t take it any more! One of my parents had thrown me down the basement stairs, in a fit of anger, at the time, where I sustained a serious leg injury, in a lot of pain, and huge swelling, where I couldn’t get
up! My parents were screaming at each other, and would not help me, and would not call 9-1-1! So, after about an hour or so, of my lying on the cement floor, in pain, my younger sister called my older sister ( who had left home, and gotten married ), who came over right away, helped me to get up the steps and into her car, and she drove me to the hospital ER! I couldn’t tell the Dr.’s what happened, and I never complained to anybody about my abusive parents, my entire childhood and high school years, except my sisters, because, many times, over and over, my patents told me, they would kill me, if I complained to anybody, in the family, or Doctor’s, or anybody else, and it got back to them! I was absolutely petrified/ scared that they would kill me, if I said a word to anyone about how they abused me! I left home, after the basement injury. So, it was like a breath of fresh air, when I left home, in my senior year of high school ( homeless ), and I never came back to live in that home, again! Anyway, I made a good life for myself, with no supportive parents, or family, except my older sister, in my younger years! Somehow, I managed to put myself through college, and ended up, working for a big, international company, in a management position, making a six figure income, and raised a family of my own, successfully! So, Dr. Ramani helped me get through the mental after affects, of what I had gone through, as a child, with her You Tube programs. Two of my siblings are narcissistic, and I have had some problems dealing with their self-centered attitudes! Both of my parents passed away, a number of years ago, and, as I am approaching 80 years old, dealing with multiple medical problems, looking back on my life, I don’t know how I managed to climb out of my abused childhood, and be able to be successful at overcoming such adversity! Maybe it helped a bit, when I majored in Psychology, during my college years!
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2 Reactions@dmbwa99362 yes I do need some to talk to you. I need someone that’s understands. Thank you
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It really is important for you to get some quality counseling. You need to find some access to counseling services. Check with your local Easter Seals to see if they offer counseling services. Often, the fee is much lower. Also, you might consider connecting with a church to see what counseling they can provide.
You will need support in order to turn off: "so many things that my mind that keep playing over and over again."
Will you seek professional help?
@foundryrat743 Thank you for sharing. I’m so sorry that your life was like that as a child. No child should ever have to go through any type of abuse. Your story was very inspirational. It gave me hope.Thank you
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4 Reactions@sheila1960 unless someone have gone through this type of abuse, they don't get it. It's definitely a different type of emotional abuse and the healing is different as well. I can definitely chat with you! Where are you located? I am living in Iowa.
Shoot me a message when you get a chance.
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2 Reactions@dmbwa99362, you'll notice that I removed your personal email. Connect is a public forum. We recommend sharing personal contact information using the secure private message function. I might also add that by sharing here in the forum, you are connecting with several people where all can benefit from group support.
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4 Reactions@sheila1960 Thanks! Normally. I don’t discuss my childhood trauma stuff with anybody, but yes, the purpose of my sharing this very personal story. is to give hope, to others, especially those who feel that they are in hopeless situations, and don’t see a way out! Also, living with a malignant narcissistic person, and/or being controlled by a super narcissistic person, can mean putting one’s life, and/or well being in danger. I went through several situations where I feared for my life, because of the actions of a malignant narcissistic individual, with psychopathic tendencies! Good luck to you, as you navigate through your particular circumstances!
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