1. < Caregivers: Dementia
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Time to move to retirement home?

Posted by 4goakley Kathy @4goakley, Feb 12 6:41am

My husband , 3 yrs into an ALZ diagnosis, is still fairly independent.
We are happy in our apartment and neighborhood.
I am wondering if it’s better to move into a retirement community while he can still adjust to a new environment, join in activities, etc.
Or to wait until we NEED more care ?
I would appreciate hearing others' experiences.
Thank you.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Caregivers: Dementia Support Group.

Profile picture for rubyredkate
rubyredkate | @rubyredkate | Feb 20 12:21pm

Hi all, im so grateful to have found this topic. Couple questions please.
Is your financial investor also your financial Planner? Someone suggested a conflict of interest, but our investors seemed so supportive when i explained our situation. He wants to make sure we can afford the lifestyle going forward.
Also, we are in Washington state, any recommendations of continuing care centers?

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2 replies
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ret2tus | @ret2tus | Feb 20 12:47pm

I think whether or not a dementia resident is accepted or not depends on the rules of the facility. Typically, the number of apartments for dementia residents is far fewer than the number of units for independent living or assisted living so space is an issue. There also might be a difference between rental and buy-in facilities. And I would expect that if dementia residents are accepted, they will pay more than independent living residents because much more care is involved. Reputable CCRC's do a thorough financial check-up of the applicant to see if they meet their financial requirements. That's why it's very important to ask a lot of questions while researching. Good luck to you!

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judimahoney | @judimahoney | Feb 21 8:47am
In reply to @rubyredkate "@ret2tus This is so helpful for me. We have been tossing around a move for a..." + (show)
Profile picture for rubyredkate @rubyredkate

@ret2tus
This is so helpful for me. We have been tossing around a move for a couple years now. I am confused about the continuing care community Not taking folks with dementia. Isn’t that the whole point of those facilities? We visited one in the Boise idaho and one in southern Utah. They are both beautiful setups, however we don’t buy a home you rent. Im worried about using too much of our savings. We are 69 & 70. If healthy hubby lives to his 90s we could be in a pickle.
Thanks for your thoughts!

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@rubyredkate
I saw an Elder Care lawyer specifically about finances, how to protect yourself, and tips for preparing for this inevitability. It was overwhelming but did set me up for success instead of failure.
Good luck!

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1 reply
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turtle4115 | @turtle4115 | Feb 21 1:44pm

I was 68 and my husband 71 when we moved into our CCRC 7 1/2 years ago. His diagnosis at that time was Parkinsonism. He had to pass a test to be approved for Independent Living. We could have waited for a few years but I was afraid he wouldn't pass and he would be not qualify for Life Care. I was able to keep him with me in our apartment for 5 years before he moved to Assisted Living and then to Nursing Care. He was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia in 2021 at Mayo Clinic. Ours was a buy in situation but our monthly fee covers whatever level of care we are living in. Currently I am still in Independent and he is in Skilled Care. I pay an additional per day fee for his additional 2 meals and any supplies. We have guaranteed care for the remainder of our lives. I can get away on trips to see our 2 sons who live out of state or on other trips for my physical and mental well being and I know he is well cared for. Because we moved in while he was still active he was familiar and comfortable with each move. I'm not saying it's an easy move but we both agreed and have adjusted beautifully to a lovely setting and have developed good friendships plus we see our daughter's family often.

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2 replies
Profile picture for 4goakley Kathy
4goakley Kathy | @4goakley | Feb 21 3:30pm
In reply to @turtle4115 "I was 68 and my husband 71 when we moved into our CCRC 7 1/2 years..." + (show)
Profile picture for turtle4115 @turtle4115

I was 68 and my husband 71 when we moved into our CCRC 7 1/2 years ago. His diagnosis at that time was Parkinsonism. He had to pass a test to be approved for Independent Living. We could have waited for a few years but I was afraid he wouldn't pass and he would be not qualify for Life Care. I was able to keep him with me in our apartment for 5 years before he moved to Assisted Living and then to Nursing Care. He was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia in 2021 at Mayo Clinic. Ours was a buy in situation but our monthly fee covers whatever level of care we are living in. Currently I am still in Independent and he is in Skilled Care. I pay an additional per day fee for his additional 2 meals and any supplies. We have guaranteed care for the remainder of our lives. I can get away on trips to see our 2 sons who live out of state or on other trips for my physical and mental well being and I know he is well cared for. Because we moved in while he was still active he was familiar and comfortable with each move. I'm not saying it's an easy move but we both agreed and have adjusted beautifully to a lovely setting and have developed good friendships plus we see our daughter's family often.

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@turtle4115 Thanks for sharing . Your first hand experience is .extremely valuable and encouraging . I am pursuing plans to move, grateful for the help of my "friends " on this site. ❤️

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Profile picture for 4goakley Kathy
4goakley Kathy | @4goakley | Feb 22 6:24am
In reply to @rubyredkate "Hi all, im so grateful to have found this topic. Couple questions please. Is your financial..." + (show)
Profile picture for rubyredkate @rubyredkate

Hi all, im so grateful to have found this topic. Couple questions please.
Is your financial investor also your financial Planner? Someone suggested a conflict of interest, but our investors seemed so supportive when i explained our situation. He wants to make sure we can afford the lifestyle going forward.
Also, we are in Washington state, any recommendations of continuing care centers?

Jump to this post

@rubyredkate
Our financial planner/investor is excellent. She works for OUR best interest.
Some are not. They want to manage "their" money.
Ask questions. Change if necessary.

REPLY
Profile picture for judimahoney
judimahoney | @judimahoney | Feb 22 7:05am
In reply to @rubyredkate "Hi all, im so grateful to have found this topic. Couple questions please. Is your financial..." + (show)
Profile picture for rubyredkate @rubyredkate

Hi all, im so grateful to have found this topic. Couple questions please.
Is your financial investor also your financial Planner? Someone suggested a conflict of interest, but our investors seemed so supportive when i explained our situation. He wants to make sure we can afford the lifestyle going forward.
Also, we are in Washington state, any recommendations of continuing care centers?

Jump to this post

@rubyredkate
Hello:
This is the only CARF certified CCRC that I found with a search, in Washington State (Spokane):
https://www.rockwoodretirement.org/southhill/

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1 reply
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nelms | @nelms | Feb 22 8:13am
In reply to @turtle4115 "I was 68 and my husband 71 when we moved into our CCRC 7 1/2 years..." + (show)
Profile picture for turtle4115 @turtle4115

I was 68 and my husband 71 when we moved into our CCRC 7 1/2 years ago. His diagnosis at that time was Parkinsonism. He had to pass a test to be approved for Independent Living. We could have waited for a few years but I was afraid he wouldn't pass and he would be not qualify for Life Care. I was able to keep him with me in our apartment for 5 years before he moved to Assisted Living and then to Nursing Care. He was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia in 2021 at Mayo Clinic. Ours was a buy in situation but our monthly fee covers whatever level of care we are living in. Currently I am still in Independent and he is in Skilled Care. I pay an additional per day fee for his additional 2 meals and any supplies. We have guaranteed care for the remainder of our lives. I can get away on trips to see our 2 sons who live out of state or on other trips for my physical and mental well being and I know he is well cared for. Because we moved in while he was still active he was familiar and comfortable with each move. I'm not saying it's an easy move but we both agreed and have adjusted beautifully to a lovely setting and have developed good friendships plus we see our daughter's family often.

Jump to this post

@turtle4115
I have been following this conversation, because we are considering making the big move to a CCRC. I just don’t know what to do yet…

Anyway, your situation sounds similar to ours. My husband is diagnosed with MCI due to Lewy Body Disease, also at Mayo. He is almost 75. I am 71.

What kind of test did your husband have to pass before qualifying for independent living at your community?

My husband no longer drives, by choice. I wonder if that would be a problem.

I almost hate to ask about this at the communities we are considering, because i don’t want to draw attention to his probable future decline, if that would keep us out of independent living.

Thanks for your info!

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1 reply
Profile picture for rubyredkate
rubyredkate | @rubyredkate | Feb 22 11:06am
In reply to @judimahoney "@rubyredkate Hello: This is the only CARF certified CCRC that I found with a search, in..." + (show)
Profile picture for judimahoney @judimahoney

@rubyredkate
Hello:
This is the only CARF certified CCRC that I found with a search, in Washington State (Spokane):
https://www.rockwoodretirement.org/southhill/

Jump to this post

@judimahoney
Thank you for your search! I’ve never heard of CARF. We have a very large community in Lacey that is highly thought of called Panorama senior living. Ill ask if they are accredited.
Thanks for the new info!

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1 reply
Profile picture for judimahoney
judimahoney | @judimahoney | Feb 22 2:57pm
In reply to @rubyredkate "@judimahoney Thank you for your search! I’ve never heard of CARF. We have a very large..." + (show)
Profile picture for rubyredkate @rubyredkate

@judimahoney
Thank you for your search! I’ve never heard of CARF. We have a very large community in Lacey that is highly thought of called Panorama senior living. Ill ask if they are accredited.
Thanks for the new info!

Jump to this post

@rubyredkate
Hi, I hadn't heard of that accreditation/ certification myself till I read about it in someone's post on this site.
Glad you have that community in Lacey. ☺️

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