Regret: A decision made and I've lost purpose & motivation

@bettes Thank you. I have been surprised and grateful for so many good comments on here. My practice is painting and drawing, and I will continue to try and get back to it.

Also, how do you know we don't live close? I live in Washington state. Even if we don't live close, we could communicate in other ways.

@carol222
Got me there, Carol. You’re right, I had no idea where you live—just assumed. I am in Florida, so pretty far, but you are also right—there are other ways to communicate, and I would like that. Next steps? B

@shmerdloff What did Jung mean by Anschlag in this context? I understand the word, would translate it as « attack » usually, like a bomb attack. I don’t understand it related to the idea that there are no mistakes in life.

@tatiana987
I totally agree with you. When I first read it, I just accepted the word in the context used, as meaning "trying." When I finally looked up the translation it came back as "attack."
I made sense of it only by considering that he may have meant more than merely trying, but rather "attacking" something (a challenge, a project, a way of thinking or behaving, a marriage) with full force, and then when disaster strikes it's not a mistake because you were authentic and committed yourself with everything you had. Thanks for catching that.

Concerning getting back to your art practice…I am also an artist. I’m 66 and am more productive with my art than I have ever been. I regret not honing my skills and using my talents at a much younger age. But was busy raising my kids and taking care of my household. Although, I did use my skills in my house and a few other places by painting murals on walls.

I also wasted time thinking I wasn’t good enough.

But I have discovered I can do a lot of things. And, amazingly enough, social media has been helpful in that area. I say “amazingly” because social media CAN be, and often is, a big time waster and destructive. But it has helped me have ideas, and while watching reels of people doing all these creative things, I find myself thinking “I can do that”. And I CAN and I DO.

I do all kinds of home DIY projects. But I’ve also gotten into watercolor more. I don’t sell my art, but I did donate some to a silent auction once. I’ve given them as gifts. One year at Christmas time, I included a 4x6 painting in every Christmas card I sent out. I had to start a month in advance and I tried to paint something that would mean something to the recipient…their pet with a Santa hat on, their state bird in the snow, etc. And for the past couple of years, for every gift I’ve given, I’ve painted a small personalized 2x3 gift card to attach. My daughter in law saves hers and her children’s in their memory books.

It’s just a small way for me to express and share my creativity.

Maybe doing something like that or getting inspired through watching YouTube, Facebook, or Instagram reels would be helpful to you, too.

@missey I agree. I was having problems with depression and when it got to be too much I checked it out (not trusting the medical tree as much as I want to, I used Mayo Clinic 'drug interaction' site. Voila. Stopped the antidepressant on my own and within 7-10 days feeling much better. Talked to doctor, he was surprised but agreed it was the best thing. He prescribed a different medication and it worked - depression subsided.

@carol222
well said. you could be my advocate.

Forty-eight years ago, I also made a choice that [ had I realized then ] would direct the course of my life. I am one of the fortunate, able to seek forgiveness, to receive it over time, move forward and live the best version of myself possible. Beyond grateful for the many blessings in my life ... my children, grandchildren, loyal and loving friends, the opportunity to experience life without guilt as I [ most important of all ] learned to forgive myself.

@bettes Someone sent me a personal message that came directly to me. Not sure how to do this on here but will look into it.

I relate. Past 80 and certainly had my ups and downs mentally and pysically. What works for one person doesnt for another.... Just a sentence I read recently that in our past we do remember the horrible things that happened to us, the mistakes etc. because, they said, they were so hurtful .. vivid recall; but that often we do not keep remembering many happy times. I suppose thats true for me: I have managed to cope over the years but its mostly the nights I cant sleep and even though listening to you tube meditation supportive tapes etc., sometimes barely hear what they are saying because my mind relives some very poor decisions I made (like leaving my family in another country at the age of 18 and not being there to help aging parents, etc. etc., etc. HOW can anyone really understand the depth of that pain. It's my pain to carry and honestly doesnt matter what others say, it will never leave me - always in the background ... worse now I am older and have adult children to help me - my Mother didnt. Best of luck... take care, J.