How do you get sleep while caregiving?

@ Gratia. I was in your exact situation a couple of years ago. Getting up 2-4 times per night. I don't know if you can get the major relief I got from a couple of minor changes:
1. I stopped giving my husband liquids 3 hours before going to bed.
2. I started giving him his night time pills with ice cream instead of water.
.
It was fantastic. Suddenly he was sleeping through the night or waking once. And the big additional benefit was that he woke up much less confused and in a better mood! I was not the only one experiencing the effects of those bad, broken up sleep patterns. He was too!

We have stayed with that schedule. Over time as he became incontinent, we moved from underpants to diapers at night. We put on two and put a "guard" in the inside one too. I can check on him once before I go to bed and remove only the guard, and, if necessary, the inner diaper if they are wet.

Wishing you well!

@memoriestomoments
My husband is still in underwear at this point. But I know it's only time before he will need briefs of some kind.
Can you provide a more detailed explanation of the guard and how you remove the inside diaper? Is your husband still asleep?

Hi @trishaanderson
Sure. I got this tip from my local support group. We slide a Walgreens Men's "Guard" inside the first diaper in a position that covers the relevant area. Then we put on another diaper. It is important to put in the Guard without taking the little cover over the adhesive strip, so that it is easy to take it out later if that is all that is wet.

Important: I stopped having him wear pajama bottoms long ago. They are an impediment to all toileting and they are another thing to soak and wash if there is an accident.

When I check him at night I open up both of the diapers. This is made easier by the fact that he sleeps on his back. I remove the guard if it is wet. Then I check to see if the diaper is also wet. If it is, I remove that one. In my husband's case, he only half wakens up during this. He is (usually) very good about raising his hips so that I can slip out the inner diaper by pulling it down as he raises his hips. If he is not able to do that I get it out by pushing him over as if he is rolling onto one hip, and lower that side of the inner diaper. Then I repeat on the other side. I put in another guard and close up the second diaper.

BTW: On the bed, I put one of those fabric pads that has a waterproof backing under him and on top of that I array two of the paper pads just in case there is a large flow or in case he has a messy bowel movement that requires clean up in bed. I have not had to wash sheets or worry about the mattress because of an accident in a very long time. We live and learn but I, like you, really wished I had detailed instructions.

For back health, especially as he sleeps longer now, We have a wedge "pillow" to elevate his upper body and a pillow that we put under his knees every night.

I hope that this helps.

Hi @trishaanderson
Sure. I got this tip from my local support group. We slide a Walgreens Men's "Guard" inside the first diaper in a position that covers the relevant area. Then we put on another diaper. It is important to put in the Guard without taking the little cover over the adhesive strip, so that it is easy to take it out later if that is all that is wet.

Important: I stopped having him wear pajama bottoms long ago. They are an impediment to all toileting and they are another thing to soak and wash if there is an accident.

When I check him at night I open up both of the diapers. This is made easier by the fact that he sleeps on his back. I remove the guard if it is wet. Then I check to see if the diaper is also wet. If it is, I remove that one. In my husband's case, he only half wakens up during this. He is (usually) very good about raising his hips so that I can slip out the inner diaper by pulling it down as he raises his hips. If he is not able to do that I get it out by pushing him over as if he is rolling onto one hip, and lower that side of the inner diaper. Then I repeat on the other side. I put in another guard and close up the second diaper.

BTW: On the bed, I put one of those fabric pads that has a waterproof backing under him and on top of that I array two of the paper pads just in case there is a large flow or in case he has a messy bowel movement that requires clean up in bed. I have not had to wash sheets or worry about the mattress because of an accident in a very long time. We live and learn but I, like you, really wished I had detailed instructions.

For back health, especially as he sleeps longer now, We have a wedge "pillow" to elevate his upper body and a pillow that we put under his knees every night.

I hope that this helps.

@memoriestomoments

I'm doing the same, caring for my mom. Waking up now every 3-4 hrs from 2-3. It's been a year and some but I've noticed I got used to the hours, still a lil tired. I have the same routine, my mom can lift herself, finally, to change her, use bed pads, etc. It wasn't always like this. Not gonna lie changing my own vitamins, supplements, attitude and lots of prayers has helped. My back has hurt, but exercise/yoga, when I initially put her to bed, has helped and elevating everything, medical bins, trash, other supplies, etc., so I don't have to bend over the bed. Getting 10 min walks when I can, listening to music, which she likes as well. I needed to take care of myself before I can fully take care of her with my best attitude. After a year and a half I'm finally getting better at time management and putting myself as "one" of the priorities cause she is my number 1. Lil by lil. You got this, sending prayers!

@memoriestomoments

I'm doing the same, caring for my mom. Waking up now every 3-4 hrs from 2-3. It's been a year and some but I've noticed I got used to the hours, still a lil tired. I have the same routine, my mom can lift herself, finally, to change her, use bed pads, etc. It wasn't always like this. Not gonna lie changing my own vitamins, supplements, attitude and lots of prayers has helped. My back has hurt, but exercise/yoga, when I initially put her to bed, has helped and elevating everything, medical bins, trash, other supplies, etc., so I don't have to bend over the bed. Getting 10 min walks when I can, listening to music, which she likes as well. I needed to take care of myself before I can fully take care of her with my best attitude. After a year and a half I'm finally getting better at time management and putting myself as "one" of the priorities cause she is my number 1. Lil by lil. You got this, sending prayers!

@hikingcaver

I know what you mean by needing a break. I have to take my husband every place that I go because I don't think that it is safe to leave him alone. I wanted to find someone who could watch him for a couple of hours while I went to get a haircut or went to get groceries. A social worker gave me the name of a couple of agencies. The caregiving agencies had a 12 to 14 hour a week minimum at $40.00 to $48.75 an hour which would amount to $560.00 or $585.00 a week and they stipulated that it would have to be ongoing and not for only one week. Kind of spendy for a haircut or to go for groceries!!! This is so difficult because I wouldn't want to have someone watch him who hadn't gone through a background check or who wasn't knowledgeable regarding Alzheimer's disease.
Next month it will be 3 years since my husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. I have to admit that this has been the hardest 3 years of my life. Time has changed the way I am feeling about a memory care center for my husband. We have been married for 58 years, and I love him very much, but I can't go on like this. I am 80 years old and I'm exhausted.