How to deal with aging anxiety?

Posted by grahmilou @grahmilou, Dec 30, 2025

The last few years have been hard with multiple surgeries, now recovered, but ongoing pain. The loss of friends recently as they passed and the worrying about how the road feels like it’s getting so much shorter. constantly worrying about the process of dying. trying to stay grateful for today but sometimes the anxiety feels overwhelming especially as I see our country chance for worse and worry about the world for my grandchildren.

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OK today I commit to worrying about several things knowing that my worrying will prevent them all from happening. I love the irony thanks for the smile.

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Profile picture for edsutton @edsutton

karenweiss wrote: " As I age, my sense of loss is immense. The state of the world is very confusing, therefore I have withdrawn from news, social media etc. ....
These days, I let myself feel what I feel, I accept my daily bag of feelings and move through them.
Yes, I have withdrawn from society in order to finally be fully present and accepting towards my own experiences. Aging on its own is very intense. I am no longer able to carry everyone's burden. ...."

Yes, we have each been assigned the burden of just one lifetime. It's not our burden to establish the future of all life on earth. Every day I get one vote, just one, and I try to be aware of how I'm voting, and that's all. It's a relief to realize how small and unimportant I am, and that one day I won't be voting anymore.

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@edsutton That was put beautifully. I'm an 84 year old female. My husband,80, still runs a commercial real estate office. I envy him because he still keeps busy and loves what he does. I always thought I would do volunteer work in a school or hospital when I retired. We live in a small county with not a lot of places to volunteer. However, I have a condition called CVID which means I don't make antibodies to viruses or bacteria. (Boy in the bubble disease but not as bad) so I can't be around sick people or in a school with children. I am still healthy and active except for osteoarthritis and don't look or act my age. I agree with you completely and worry on how I will leave this world to my daughters and grandsons. It feels as though I have unfinished business.

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Profile picture for edsutton @edsutton

karenweiss wrote: " As I age, my sense of loss is immense. The state of the world is very confusing, therefore I have withdrawn from news, social media etc. ....
These days, I let myself feel what I feel, I accept my daily bag of feelings and move through them.
Yes, I have withdrawn from society in order to finally be fully present and accepting towards my own experiences. Aging on its own is very intense. I am no longer able to carry everyone's burden. ...."

Yes, we have each been assigned the burden of just one lifetime. It's not our burden to establish the future of all life on earth. Every day I get one vote, just one, and I try to be aware of how I'm voting, and that's all. It's a relief to realize how small and unimportant I am, and that one day I won't be voting anymore.

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@edsutton well said. My struggle is to keep myself in the here and now and not dwelling on the future.

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Profile picture for jcarbone @jcarbone

@edsutton well said. My struggle is to keep myself in the here and now and not dwelling on the future.

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@jcarbone
Totally agree!

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Profile picture for babette @babette

I'm right there with you and wish I had the magic to heal this. I'm facing a shoulder replacement in a few weeks and have come to understand how much chronic pain affects us. I've also suffered from anxiety/depression and its relationship to pain.

I have done a couple of things to mitigate what you and I are suffering from. The world, especially our country, has become surreal and foreign to me. I simply can't believe what is happening and have chosen to shut down all news. I allow only beauty in my life: music, art, reading, nature.

Second, at I have decided to adopt a palliative care only approach to my health. I have learned about the difference between palliative and hospice care and it's huge! Once I've recovered from my surgery, that is - lol! I will continue to take my usual medications, but will refuse any aggressive interventions and procedures. No more screenings, no MRIs, CT scans, etc. When my body can no long live pain-free and enjoy movement, when I get a serious diagnosis, I will accept comfort care with gratitude.

Third, I take medication for anxiety and depression which have been invaluable.

I'm 68 and, given my family history, thought I would be dealing with this 10 or 20 years from now. I have had a mostly beautiful life. I married a truly wonderful man over 40 years ago, enjoyed meaningful work, raised a daughter with learning disabilities who is now in graduate school studying social work. I was blessed with the most extraordinary parents imaginable. I have enjoyed great friendships (vanishing now), and beautiful places. The ability to think and enjoy complex ideas as well as a simple life.

One book and an article I read recently have been very validating and supportive: Natural Causes, by Barbara Ehrenreich and the attached article.

I am thinking of you and sending all best wishes for peace.

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@babette
I hope your shoulder is healing nicely and you are doing well.

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Worry and anxiety are thieves. They steal time and pleasure from us and give us nothing in return. The past is gone and cannot be changed. The future is ever changing and is mostly out of our control. The present is a gift for us to enjoy to the best of our abilities. Finding beauty in the the simple things of the world around us is our special gift from God.

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Profile picture for kjoed53 @kjoed53

Worry and anxiety are thieves. They steal time and pleasure from us and give us nothing in return. The past is gone and cannot be changed. The future is ever changing and is mostly out of our control. The present is a gift for us to enjoy to the best of our abilities. Finding beauty in the the simple things of the world around us is our special gift from God.

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@kjoed53 love this post ! Thank you !

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Profile picture for capnjack @capnjack

@rollingf Yes, but it's hard to keep from worrying about worrying. About three decades ago, Warren Zevon wrote a song called "Worrier King"... worried about everything...
I've also read that 99% of the things that we worry about never occur - so, statistically speaking, worrying can be pretty helpful!

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@capnjack This made me laugh. Thanks!

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Profile picture for kjoed53 @kjoed53

Worry and anxiety are thieves. They steal time and pleasure from us and give us nothing in return. The past is gone and cannot be changed. The future is ever changing and is mostly out of our control. The present is a gift for us to enjoy to the best of our abilities. Finding beauty in the the simple things of the world around us is our special gift from God.

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Take one day at a time. Do not think about tomorrow, like it is said in Bible. Read books and develop new hobbies, if you can. Meditate upon our Lord JC and He will definitely help you over come your problems.
Good luck.
VJ

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