@tatiana987 I really appreciate you sharing your experience. You’re right — when someone says “see your doctor,” it assumes a level of access that a lot of people in the U.S. simply don’t have. Many folks deal with long wait times, high costs, rotating providers, and rushed visits, and it can feel nothing like the “old-fashioned” relationship people imagine when they picture having a personal doctor who knows them well.
My intention in saying “see your doctor” is never to gloss over how tough the system can be — it’s simply because certain symptoms or situations really do need hands-on evaluation that online advice can’t safely replace.
That said, the challenges you describe are very real. A few things that sometimes help people get closer to the kind of access you’re talking about:
• Smaller primary-care practices or community health centers
These often have better continuity of care, shorter wait times, and more personal interaction than big hospital networks.
• Direct primary care (membership-based clinics)
Not available everywhere, but many people find the monthly fee is much lower than expected, and the trade-off is same-day access and a doctor who actually knows them.
• Nurse practitioners and physician assistants
Some patients get more responsive care from an NP/PA-led practice than from traditional doctor offices.
• Telemedicine for non-urgent issues
It doesn’t solve everything, but it can fill the gap when it’s hard to get into a crowded clinic.
None of these options fix the whole system, and they may not be perfect fits for everyone. But many people don’t even know they exist.
I truly hear your frustration, and you’re not alone. The U.S. healthcare system makes even basic access feel like a privilege at times, and pointing people “to a doctor” doesn’t magically make that easier. Your perspective is important, and I’m glad you brought it up.
@tommy901 Thanks for taking the time and trouble to answer me. I think your answer was the only human kindness in medicine I have experienced lately. I spent 8 hours today in Urgent and ER care. I cannot tell you how awful it was. Will I get over this abuse or have lifelong PTSD?
I only cut my finger, but I am on Eliquis so I bled non stop for 8 hours. I covered my clothes and the ER floor in blood. Not a problem. My blood pressure was 225/120. I asked for a second measurement and was told to wait my turn. A guy came to stich my finger. He was stoned. Or maybe he was on pain meds. He was not clean. He did the work. I suppose he got paid. He was too rushed to answer any questions. If this is a doctor, why on earth did I ask about how to find a doctor?
I hereby give you the entire American medical system. It is now yours. Don’t try to give it back.
@tommy901 Thanks for taking the time and trouble to answer me. I think your answer was the only human kindness in medicine I have experienced lately. I spent 8 hours today in Urgent and ER care. I cannot tell you how awful it was. Will I get over this abuse or have lifelong PTSD?
I only cut my finger, but I am on Eliquis so I bled non stop for 8 hours. I covered my clothes and the ER floor in blood. Not a problem. My blood pressure was 225/120. I asked for a second measurement and was told to wait my turn. A guy came to stich my finger. He was stoned. Or maybe he was on pain meds. He was not clean. He did the work. I suppose he got paid. He was too rushed to answer any questions. If this is a doctor, why on earth did I ask about how to find a doctor?
I hereby give you the entire American medical system. It is now yours. Don’t try to give it back.
@tatiana987 I’m really sorry you went through that. What you described would leave anyone shaken — bleeding that won’t stop, being ignored when your blood pressure was dangerously high, and then finding the staff weren’t attentive or professional. That’s not “being sensitive”; that’s a genuinely distressing experience.
It’s understandable that your mind is going to the worst-case scenario right now. When something feels chaotic, out of control, and you don’t feel safe, your brain stores that intensely. But having a traumatic medical experience doesn’t automatically mean you’ll end up with lifelong PTSD! Most people gradually settle after the shock wears off, especially once they’re back in a safe, stable situation. (If that's even possible). What you’re feeling right now is your nervous system still in “alarm mode,” and that can take days or weeks to calm down.
What can help you recover from this:
Talk it out, just like you’re doing here. The more your brain can make sense of what happened, the less power the memory holds.
Pay attention to how you’re feeling over the next few days. If the fear, panic, or intrusive thoughts don’t ease — or get worse — reaching out to a therapist can really help prevent the experience from becoming something long-term.
Know that you didn’t deserve any of this. You should never be made to feel ignored, dismissed, or unsafe in a medical setting.
And for what it’s worth: your frustration with the medical system is understandable. Many people have felt the same way, and it doesn’t mean you did anything wrong by trying to get care. You were doing the responsible thing, and the system failed to meet you halfway.
You’re not alone in this, and you’re not overreacting. What happened to you was frightening, and your feelings make sense. Give yourself some time — most people do heal emotionally from experiences like this.
Just like you...I stay frustrated with system...not sure it will ever improve.
@tatiana987 I’m really sorry you went through that. What you described would leave anyone shaken — bleeding that won’t stop, being ignored when your blood pressure was dangerously high, and then finding the staff weren’t attentive or professional. That’s not “being sensitive”; that’s a genuinely distressing experience.
It’s understandable that your mind is going to the worst-case scenario right now. When something feels chaotic, out of control, and you don’t feel safe, your brain stores that intensely. But having a traumatic medical experience doesn’t automatically mean you’ll end up with lifelong PTSD! Most people gradually settle after the shock wears off, especially once they’re back in a safe, stable situation. (If that's even possible). What you’re feeling right now is your nervous system still in “alarm mode,” and that can take days or weeks to calm down.
What can help you recover from this:
Talk it out, just like you’re doing here. The more your brain can make sense of what happened, the less power the memory holds.
Pay attention to how you’re feeling over the next few days. If the fear, panic, or intrusive thoughts don’t ease — or get worse — reaching out to a therapist can really help prevent the experience from becoming something long-term.
Know that you didn’t deserve any of this. You should never be made to feel ignored, dismissed, or unsafe in a medical setting.
And for what it’s worth: your frustration with the medical system is understandable. Many people have felt the same way, and it doesn’t mean you did anything wrong by trying to get care. You were doing the responsible thing, and the system failed to meet you halfway.
You’re not alone in this, and you’re not overreacting. What happened to you was frightening, and your feelings make sense. Give yourself some time — most people do heal emotionally from experiences like this.
Just like you...I stay frustrated with system...not sure it will ever improve.
@tommy901 Many thanks. Your words are kind and helpful. Why don’t you write a book exposing or explaining the current U.S. medical crisis? I would buy it.
When I compare what once existed in this country in our system of small town doctors, I am very sure I want that system, not this current one.
I own a beautiful oak chest of drawers that once belonged to my great-grandparents. He was a country doctor. In a drawer I found a letter from the maker of the oak chest, which was a gift to my great-grandparents from a patient who could not pay. The letter thanked my great-grandfather for the medical care and my great-grandmother for cooking for him while he was sick. That beautiful object reminds me of our past and how we could and should be again imo.
By way of contrast, this morning I received two AI messages on my phone from the ER I was in last evening. The messages obviously were intended to be sent last evening while I was in the waiting room at the ER. Those messages are so tragically dishonest and callous that I can only say I am disgusted beyond my capacity for disgust. I will quote some of it: « Our dedicated emergency team is assessing patients based on the severity of their conditions, prioritising life-threatening situations. » (Triage happened for me nearly 2 hours after I arrived at the ER. I was dazed, half passed out, in pain, covered in blood and bleeding on their furniture, with dangerously high blood pressure, no meds and no hydration allowed. I was dead last to be seen. Nobody else was visibly bleeding and half in half out of consciousness. I thought of myself as first in that group of waiting people. Of course, I could not know all the injuries and illnesses that were not immediately visible. I felt left to die and had no idea why I was last on their list, not first.
I asked for help 4 times. I was told that I needed to wait my turn. What does the morning-after messaging say? « …your well-being is our utmost concern. If you notice any changes or your condition worsens, please inform us immediately. Your health and comfort are our top priorities. »
The AI drivel goes on, but I will spare you. Two messages, one dated around 1890 and one dated today show some of the problem, but there is lots more. I await your book and, should it not arrive, I would settle for a book recommendation. Who exposes the current medical disaster really well?
@tommy901 Many thanks. Your words are kind and helpful. Why don’t you write a book exposing or explaining the current U.S. medical crisis? I would buy it.
When I compare what once existed in this country in our system of small town doctors, I am very sure I want that system, not this current one.
I own a beautiful oak chest of drawers that once belonged to my great-grandparents. He was a country doctor. In a drawer I found a letter from the maker of the oak chest, which was a gift to my great-grandparents from a patient who could not pay. The letter thanked my great-grandfather for the medical care and my great-grandmother for cooking for him while he was sick. That beautiful object reminds me of our past and how we could and should be again imo.
By way of contrast, this morning I received two AI messages on my phone from the ER I was in last evening. The messages obviously were intended to be sent last evening while I was in the waiting room at the ER. Those messages are so tragically dishonest and callous that I can only say I am disgusted beyond my capacity for disgust. I will quote some of it: « Our dedicated emergency team is assessing patients based on the severity of their conditions, prioritising life-threatening situations. » (Triage happened for me nearly 2 hours after I arrived at the ER. I was dazed, half passed out, in pain, covered in blood and bleeding on their furniture, with dangerously high blood pressure, no meds and no hydration allowed. I was dead last to be seen. Nobody else was visibly bleeding and half in half out of consciousness. I thought of myself as first in that group of waiting people. Of course, I could not know all the injuries and illnesses that were not immediately visible. I felt left to die and had no idea why I was last on their list, not first.
I asked for help 4 times. I was told that I needed to wait my turn. What does the morning-after messaging say? « …your well-being is our utmost concern. If you notice any changes or your condition worsens, please inform us immediately. Your health and comfort are our top priorities. »
The AI drivel goes on, but I will spare you. Two messages, one dated around 1890 and one dated today show some of the problem, but there is lots more. I await your book and, should it not arrive, I would settle for a book recommendation. Who exposes the current medical disaster really well?
@tatiana987 Thank you for sharing that. Your story about your great-grandparents really struck me. It captures the heart of what so many people feel is missing today—medicine practiced with genuine human connection, not just protocols, algorithms, and automated messages. That chest of drawers sounds like more than furniture; it’s a reminder that care used to be a relationship, not a transaction.
What you went through in the ER is the opposite of that. No one—bleeding, dazed, hypertensive, and alone—should ever be told to “wait their turn” without explanation or basic care. I’m sorry you had an experience that felt dismissive and frightening. Those canned “your well-being is our top priority” messages can feel almost insulting when the reality you lived through was the opposite. You’re not wrong to feel disgusted.
As for writing a book… I appreciate the encouragement more than you know. If I ever do, it would be because of stories like yours—real, lived experiences that show how far the system has drifted from compassion.
In the meantime, there are a few authors who have put words to what’s happening in U.S. healthcare better than I ever could. A couple that might speak to you:
Elisabeth Rosenthal – An American Sickness: a deeply researched, very readable look at how U.S. healthcare lost its moral compass and why it feels so broken to patients and doctors alike.
Atul Gawande – Being Mortal and Complications: not about the “crisis” per se, but beautifully honest about the pressures doctors are under and what gets lost when the system forgets the human side of medicine.
Marty Makary – The Price We Pay: a clear, accessible look at how ordinary people get caught in a system designed around profit rather than care.
None of them romanticize the past, but all of them acknowledge the same thing you’re describing: people want a relationship-centered kind of medicine again—something humane, honest, and personal.
Your story is powerful. Thank you for telling it. If enough people do, maybe the system will eventually be forced to listen.
I actually don't think the system will change. I do appreciate the technology that is available to all of us today, but it's a terrible thing in my opinion that we are just a "number" in an emergency situation.
Also, I have written many articles about this...but never have published any.
I have similar stories I could also tell you about my grandparents etc. I grew up in the 50's. There were actual doctors that had their office in drug stores etc,,,, that knew you personally and would tend to you immediately. Those days are gone...But, I am blessed to still live in a small rural community where people can get immediate medical attention as needed without delay from the new doctors.
However, not sure many times if they (new doc's) have the correct knowledge to treat your condition... sad to say.
Some new doctor's depend on prescription drugs rather than the root cause. Then they give you a referral to a specialist that may not actually put you in the right direction.
Then we are back to the same thing.
I could tell you things about Eliquis vs anti-platelet treatment, but I can't do that on this forum. It's up to you to do your on investigation about this. I am not a doctor. I can say, that anticoagulants sometime aren't the best path, but again, you have to make a decision from a medical provider.
@tatiana987 Thank you for sharing that. Your story about your great-grandparents really struck me. It captures the heart of what so many people feel is missing today—medicine practiced with genuine human connection, not just protocols, algorithms, and automated messages. That chest of drawers sounds like more than furniture; it’s a reminder that care used to be a relationship, not a transaction.
What you went through in the ER is the opposite of that. No one—bleeding, dazed, hypertensive, and alone—should ever be told to “wait their turn” without explanation or basic care. I’m sorry you had an experience that felt dismissive and frightening. Those canned “your well-being is our top priority” messages can feel almost insulting when the reality you lived through was the opposite. You’re not wrong to feel disgusted.
As for writing a book… I appreciate the encouragement more than you know. If I ever do, it would be because of stories like yours—real, lived experiences that show how far the system has drifted from compassion.
In the meantime, there are a few authors who have put words to what’s happening in U.S. healthcare better than I ever could. A couple that might speak to you:
Elisabeth Rosenthal – An American Sickness: a deeply researched, very readable look at how U.S. healthcare lost its moral compass and why it feels so broken to patients and doctors alike.
Atul Gawande – Being Mortal and Complications: not about the “crisis” per se, but beautifully honest about the pressures doctors are under and what gets lost when the system forgets the human side of medicine.
Marty Makary – The Price We Pay: a clear, accessible look at how ordinary people get caught in a system designed around profit rather than care.
None of them romanticize the past, but all of them acknowledge the same thing you’re describing: people want a relationship-centered kind of medicine again—something humane, honest, and personal.
Your story is powerful. Thank you for telling it. If enough people do, maybe the system will eventually be forced to listen.
I actually don't think the system will change. I do appreciate the technology that is available to all of us today, but it's a terrible thing in my opinion that we are just a "number" in an emergency situation.
Also, I have written many articles about this...but never have published any.
I have similar stories I could also tell you about my grandparents etc. I grew up in the 50's. There were actual doctors that had their office in drug stores etc,,,, that knew you personally and would tend to you immediately. Those days are gone...But, I am blessed to still live in a small rural community where people can get immediate medical attention as needed without delay from the new doctors.
However, not sure many times if they (new doc's) have the correct knowledge to treat your condition... sad to say.
Some new doctor's depend on prescription drugs rather than the root cause. Then they give you a referral to a specialist that may not actually put you in the right direction.
Then we are back to the same thing.
I could tell you things about Eliquis vs anti-platelet treatment, but I can't do that on this forum. It's up to you to do your on investigation about this. I am not a doctor. I can say, that anticoagulants sometime aren't the best path, but again, you have to make a decision from a medical provider.
@tommy901 Wow! It is going to take me a while to respond to it all. Very decent of you to take the time and trouble to answer so well.
Thanks for book tips. I normally don’t read books in English, but imo this topic requires English and serious familiarity with the United States. I will check them out.
In this century I have only read three books in English, those of Dr. Siddhartha Mukarjee. If you don’t know his work, you might appreciate it. All are on medicine. IMO the best of his writing is on the medical metaphor. For example, a depressed patient describes to Dr. Mukarjee that he feels like he has fallen into a giant crevice or a hole. Dr. Mukarjee can diagnose from hearing that metaphor. I think intuition like this or even, for another example, the understanding that the smell of a disease can be used to diagnose it—- the human perceptions far outside the screen’s capacity are being lost and replaced by AI, which is basically the collection and aggregation of garbage from what humans put on the internet in the past. It’s not multifacited reality, but human reactions that could shrink to fit the internet. A lot is simply subtracted, not there at all. There are no smells of disease on AI, for example. So are we supposed to stop these other perceptions because they are not part of AI?
Oooops, I went off on a tantent…..to be continued….
Here’s a little laugh related to our overuse of tech in medicine. This story is true and recent. I swear that I got a notice from Renown Medical Center that I was to appear tomorrow for an IQ Infusion. How did they know I was in need of higher IQ? ( I am really getting a Prolia shot for osteoporosis and IQ is a measurement and insurance payment optimizer.) Hope I get smarter tomorrow. IQ infusions are a great advance in medicine imo.
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@tommy901 Thanks for taking the time and trouble to answer me. I think your answer was the only human kindness in medicine I have experienced lately. I spent 8 hours today in Urgent and ER care. I cannot tell you how awful it was. Will I get over this abuse or have lifelong PTSD?
I only cut my finger, but I am on Eliquis so I bled non stop for 8 hours. I covered my clothes and the ER floor in blood. Not a problem. My blood pressure was 225/120. I asked for a second measurement and was told to wait my turn. A guy came to stich my finger. He was stoned. Or maybe he was on pain meds. He was not clean. He did the work. I suppose he got paid. He was too rushed to answer any questions. If this is a doctor, why on earth did I ask about how to find a doctor?
I hereby give you the entire American medical system. It is now yours. Don’t try to give it back.
@tatiana987 I’m really sorry you went through that. What you described would leave anyone shaken — bleeding that won’t stop, being ignored when your blood pressure was dangerously high, and then finding the staff weren’t attentive or professional. That’s not “being sensitive”; that’s a genuinely distressing experience.
It’s understandable that your mind is going to the worst-case scenario right now. When something feels chaotic, out of control, and you don’t feel safe, your brain stores that intensely. But having a traumatic medical experience doesn’t automatically mean you’ll end up with lifelong PTSD! Most people gradually settle after the shock wears off, especially once they’re back in a safe, stable situation. (If that's even possible). What you’re feeling right now is your nervous system still in “alarm mode,” and that can take days or weeks to calm down.
What can help you recover from this:
Talk it out, just like you’re doing here. The more your brain can make sense of what happened, the less power the memory holds.
Pay attention to how you’re feeling over the next few days. If the fear, panic, or intrusive thoughts don’t ease — or get worse — reaching out to a therapist can really help prevent the experience from becoming something long-term.
Know that you didn’t deserve any of this. You should never be made to feel ignored, dismissed, or unsafe in a medical setting.
And for what it’s worth: your frustration with the medical system is understandable. Many people have felt the same way, and it doesn’t mean you did anything wrong by trying to get care. You were doing the responsible thing, and the system failed to meet you halfway.
You’re not alone in this, and you’re not overreacting. What happened to you was frightening, and your feelings make sense. Give yourself some time — most people do heal emotionally from experiences like this.
Just like you...I stay frustrated with system...not sure it will ever improve.
@tommy901 Many thanks. Your words are kind and helpful. Why don’t you write a book exposing or explaining the current U.S. medical crisis? I would buy it.
When I compare what once existed in this country in our system of small town doctors, I am very sure I want that system, not this current one.
I own a beautiful oak chest of drawers that once belonged to my great-grandparents. He was a country doctor. In a drawer I found a letter from the maker of the oak chest, which was a gift to my great-grandparents from a patient who could not pay. The letter thanked my great-grandfather for the medical care and my great-grandmother for cooking for him while he was sick. That beautiful object reminds me of our past and how we could and should be again imo.
By way of contrast, this morning I received two AI messages on my phone from the ER I was in last evening. The messages obviously were intended to be sent last evening while I was in the waiting room at the ER. Those messages are so tragically dishonest and callous that I can only say I am disgusted beyond my capacity for disgust. I will quote some of it: « Our dedicated emergency team is assessing patients based on the severity of their conditions, prioritising life-threatening situations. » (Triage happened for me nearly 2 hours after I arrived at the ER. I was dazed, half passed out, in pain, covered in blood and bleeding on their furniture, with dangerously high blood pressure, no meds and no hydration allowed. I was dead last to be seen. Nobody else was visibly bleeding and half in half out of consciousness. I thought of myself as first in that group of waiting people. Of course, I could not know all the injuries and illnesses that were not immediately visible. I felt left to die and had no idea why I was last on their list, not first.
I asked for help 4 times. I was told that I needed to wait my turn. What does the morning-after messaging say? « …your well-being is our utmost concern. If you notice any changes or your condition worsens, please inform us immediately. Your health and comfort are our top priorities. »
The AI drivel goes on, but I will spare you. Two messages, one dated around 1890 and one dated today show some of the problem, but there is lots more. I await your book and, should it not arrive, I would settle for a book recommendation. Who exposes the current medical disaster really well?
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1 Reaction@tatiana987 Thank you for sharing that. Your story about your great-grandparents really struck me. It captures the heart of what so many people feel is missing today—medicine practiced with genuine human connection, not just protocols, algorithms, and automated messages. That chest of drawers sounds like more than furniture; it’s a reminder that care used to be a relationship, not a transaction.
What you went through in the ER is the opposite of that. No one—bleeding, dazed, hypertensive, and alone—should ever be told to “wait their turn” without explanation or basic care. I’m sorry you had an experience that felt dismissive and frightening. Those canned “your well-being is our top priority” messages can feel almost insulting when the reality you lived through was the opposite. You’re not wrong to feel disgusted.
As for writing a book… I appreciate the encouragement more than you know. If I ever do, it would be because of stories like yours—real, lived experiences that show how far the system has drifted from compassion.
In the meantime, there are a few authors who have put words to what’s happening in U.S. healthcare better than I ever could. A couple that might speak to you:
Elisabeth Rosenthal – An American Sickness: a deeply researched, very readable look at how U.S. healthcare lost its moral compass and why it feels so broken to patients and doctors alike.
Atul Gawande – Being Mortal and Complications: not about the “crisis” per se, but beautifully honest about the pressures doctors are under and what gets lost when the system forgets the human side of medicine.
Marty Makary – The Price We Pay: a clear, accessible look at how ordinary people get caught in a system designed around profit rather than care.
None of them romanticize the past, but all of them acknowledge the same thing you’re describing: people want a relationship-centered kind of medicine again—something humane, honest, and personal.
Your story is powerful. Thank you for telling it. If enough people do, maybe the system will eventually be forced to listen.
I actually don't think the system will change. I do appreciate the technology that is available to all of us today, but it's a terrible thing in my opinion that we are just a "number" in an emergency situation.
Also, I have written many articles about this...but never have published any.
I have similar stories I could also tell you about my grandparents etc. I grew up in the 50's. There were actual doctors that had their office in drug stores etc,,,, that knew you personally and would tend to you immediately. Those days are gone...But, I am blessed to still live in a small rural community where people can get immediate medical attention as needed without delay from the new doctors.
However, not sure many times if they (new doc's) have the correct knowledge to treat your condition... sad to say.
Some new doctor's depend on prescription drugs rather than the root cause. Then they give you a referral to a specialist that may not actually put you in the right direction.
Then we are back to the same thing.
I could tell you things about Eliquis vs anti-platelet treatment, but I can't do that on this forum. It's up to you to do your on investigation about this. I am not a doctor. I can say, that anticoagulants sometime aren't the best path, but again, you have to make a decision from a medical provider.
Wishing you the best.
@tommy901 Wow! It is going to take me a while to respond to it all. Very decent of you to take the time and trouble to answer so well.
Thanks for book tips. I normally don’t read books in English, but imo this topic requires English and serious familiarity with the United States. I will check them out.
In this century I have only read three books in English, those of Dr. Siddhartha Mukarjee. If you don’t know his work, you might appreciate it. All are on medicine. IMO the best of his writing is on the medical metaphor. For example, a depressed patient describes to Dr. Mukarjee that he feels like he has fallen into a giant crevice or a hole. Dr. Mukarjee can diagnose from hearing that metaphor. I think intuition like this or even, for another example, the understanding that the smell of a disease can be used to diagnose it—- the human perceptions far outside the screen’s capacity are being lost and replaced by AI, which is basically the collection and aggregation of garbage from what humans put on the internet in the past. It’s not multifacited reality, but human reactions that could shrink to fit the internet. A lot is simply subtracted, not there at all. There are no smells of disease on AI, for example. So are we supposed to stop these other perceptions because they are not part of AI?
Oooops, I went off on a tantent…..to be continued….
Here’s a little laugh related to our overuse of tech in medicine. This story is true and recent. I swear that I got a notice from Renown Medical Center that I was to appear tomorrow for an IQ Infusion. How did they know I was in need of higher IQ? ( I am really getting a Prolia shot for osteoporosis and IQ is a measurement and insurance payment optimizer.) Hope I get smarter tomorrow. IQ infusions are a great advance in medicine imo.
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