← Return to Long-term depression
DiscussionComment receiving replies
Replies to "@anniep, you didnt say how old you are, before or after retirement? Married? I have been..."
Unfortunately I have been that person who has offered my services as needed. Very seldom I would get a call for some task that was needed. Now that I am a 24/7 caregiver for my husband (dementia), I realize that I don't call because i don't know what people have to offer me. It would be helpful if an offer was made expressing what can be offered. For example, "I bake cookies, every week, what is your favorite kind and I'll bring you some";. or, "I have the car every Wednesday and I can drive you for errands, grocery shopping. Or if you would like, we can go somewhere for lunch". "Please call and let me know what you need. Here is my phone number" ,
The reverse is also true. You should feel free to call one of these people when you need something. The offer to help is sincere, but what you need is not know. Call someone and see if you haven't found a new friend. 🙂
May God bless you and heal you! Here's a hug for you!
<br><br><br><br><br>You are absolutely right. "Call me if you need anything" sounds hollow, <br>although the people that say it, generally mean it. They would help if asked. I <br>have read on some cancer sites that it is better to proffer something up front <br>instead of waiting to be asked when you want to be helpful. God bless you for <br>being the caregiver to your husband. Dementia, I think is the hardest thing <br>to deal with. If you lived up the street from me, I'd come over and relieve you <br>for a spell, or bring your favorite cookies! Hugs -Terri M.<br> <br><br>
Just to add an example. When my daughter was fatally sick I turned down offers for food as I lacked appetite. When my friend showed up carrying a pizza, I ate for the first time. At first I didnt want to hurt her feelings, but after a few bites I was eating again. It helps to be proactive and assume what we may do.Also, when I was able to go home for a weekend, neighbors took it upon themselves to clean my house, and heat it so it was warm when I arrived. Still, if others dont do these things, dont be afraid to assign people things you think of. After all, they did ask.<br>
@kathyannyarborough What a great friend you have! I'm sure that you appreciated her insight into knowing what you needed even before you did. I have a friend who loves to make homemade soup and I've been the recipient of lots of great soups. It has made me realized the importance of doing this for others so that I can "pay it forward." Teresa
Wish I could take you up on that offer. You're the greatest! God bless you!
<br><br><br><br><br>How are you doing today?<br> <br><br>
Thank you & you are right. That was 26 years,ago & we are still friends today. I'm very blessed.It's a,win-win about your friend and the soup she makes. I'm always tempted, also, to make a lot of soup. It's so fun to make, smells so good cooking, and just as easy to make more as less. So I also am glad to find friends who will eat it all up! Hate to waist. My grown kids invite their friends over and they help finish it off sometimes. Point is, we soup makers appreciate you as much as you do us!Consider her paid back already.(Yet if you still want to be generous to others, just to do it not because you OWE it, I won't stop you.Lol.
@kathyannyarborough Hi Kathy: Yes, "win-win" it is. Soup makers have a way of blessing the world! Teresa
i know what you mean about a great life i to had one now for years i have been depressed i cant take any meds for depression i have afib take medication for that.I have been unhappy for a long time i dont work anymore dont see my friends spend alot of time alone my husband works alot not realy happy in my relationship i discoverd things about him i dont like but i fill stuck because i cant work and take care of myself.anyways not sure what i should do just want to be happy again just dont know how.
Hello Annie, I hear your pain, and I feel badly for you having to live with depression. I do not suffer from it, but was raised by a mother who was severely depressed and have a daughter who is bi-polar. I am familiar with the extreme despair that you feel. I feel that Liz may be onto something. Helping others helps her to feel better. My daughter is always more cheerful when helping other people. I know it can be extremely difficult to do most of the time; but perhaps try to get into a helping situation when you are not too depressed. And then, once in it, maybe it can keep you more jazzed about life. Hopefully, having more purpose will help. Maybe keep trying different drug combinations until something works. I pray that you find relief. Big Hug -Terri M.