Dealing with a Spouse with a “Mild Cognitive Impairment”

@reddesert
I’m sorry that you have additional complications to cope with. I don’t have the ‘who are you’ going yet, so I can’t help with that. I just wanted you to know that someone heard you.

@reddesert I don't have any suggestions, but this is one more thing we just have to go with.
He can't help it, and we can't fix it. If it helps, my husband doesn't seem to recognize me at times, and it's sad and hurts. Sometimes we look at photos, and if I say that's me, he says that's Trisha, and you're not Trisha. He's right, I'm not that happy, pretty young woman!

He thinks there is another person in the house. Or it's his mother (who died in 2004). Or his cousin (who lives 3000 miles away) Or whomever. Then he confronts me as to who that person was and where was I all that time that person was in the house. I have tried to tell him it's just me. It just angers him. If I agree with him, he gets angry that I deceived him, or was disrespectful because I didn't tell him where I was and didn't "even" leave a note. I am at wits end. Maybe its the antibiotics and the dementia combined? I don't know what to do or how to respond.

@reddesert I understand what you are struggling with. My husband believes there are people who live in our barn who come and go in our home. He is so fearful of one particular man that he does not even want to go out in the yard and has gotten to where he won’t go down to the barn. He is the happiest when we are away from our home. He accuses me of being in cahoots with them. He is so distrustful, especially since he is no longer allowed access to his guns. He’s a country boy so carrying a gun has always been a way of life. Everything that my husband cannot find he blames on the people stealing it. In actuality he has hidden everything he owns or considers valuable and can’t remember where. Everyone tells you to get in their world, but there comes a point after so much fear and suspicion and accusations that I have to deny their existence. The doctor finally understands where I am coming from as my husband told him all about them at our last visit. The doctor increased his Rivastigmine patch dosage and his Seroquel dosage. I sure hope it helps. This part of the journey is really wearing me down. Hang in there and do seek help. Even if it’s a support group where you can share what you are going through. It’s helps to get it out. I read earlier where someone wrote “they can’t help it and we can’t either.” That is so true.

I don't know how to deal with the paranoia, but my husband once had an interaction with his own father who had Dementia. His dad grew up in Oklahoma with horses. When my husband stop by for a visit, Dad asked if his horse was outside. Hubby asked "what did the horse look like"? Dad looked perplexed but moved on to a different subject. I thought that was a brilliant way to handle his dad with love and respect. So perhaps asking questions that kinda derails a train of thought might be useful... I've made the mental note to remember this when my own husband progresses through the stages himself.

Thank you all!

I feel so thankful for finding this site. It’s the first time I have found a group addressing so many of the MCI issues I’m dealing with daily. I am 70 and my husband is 84. We have been married 18 years and he has been in a state of cognitive decline for the past 5 years. I am also raising my 14 year old granddaughter. She’s been with us for the past 9 years. I feel very overwhelmed most days and tend to isolate as much as possible. Just knowing there are others to have an open exchange with who are dealing with MCI means so much.

Bless you. Kind of sad to say, but it helps me to know there are others going through similar situations. Many, so much worse, than our’s. Getting my husband on an antidepressant has really improved things, for us. So far. Things seem a little easier. Anyway, good to know that all of us on this site, understand!

My story is similar… September, 2019. The only problem is, I only married him in 2017.

I feel so betrayed and cheated. My last marriage was over 30 years and he passed away. I have known my husband 9 years and he has had MCI for most of it.

At this moment, I regret getting married. It’s like being married to Jekyll and Hyde.

@dig2dye2
I totally understand. I have so much guilt because I too regret marrying again.